俄罗斯必须要从彼得手中被解救出来 Russia must be saved from Peter.
我之前从未发动过政变 I've never done a coup before.
这是个危险的游戏 This is a dangerous game.
我在这里已经四面楚歌 I am as good as dead here.
也没什么可失去的了 So I have nothing to lose.
奥洛 Orlo!
-帮我发动政变吧 -给我闭嘴 - Help me with the coup! - Don't say another word!
我的统治 由你我共同绘制 You and I will plan for my reign.
要继续 就得寻找愿意为之战斗的人 If we are to move forward, we need men who will fight.
您想吃马卡龙吗 Would you care for a macaron?
我的手指断了 I have lost my fingers.
我来喂你 I'll just pop it in your mouth.
你的新娘不开心 你得为她驱散疑云啊 Your bride is unhappy. You must clear the clouds.
我们给你找个情人吧 We shall find you a lover.
太棒了 Marvelous.
她只是个女人 头脑薄弱 胸脯坚挺 She's just a woman. Weak of mind, and firm of breast.
我不想杀你 你不是坏人 I don't want to kill you. You're not a bad person.
我可以杀了你 I could kill you.
你就是个坏人 You are a bad person.
-有人想毒死他 -你给他下毒了 - Someone's tried to poison him! - You poisoned him?
他死了我们怎么办 What happens to us when he's dead?
你永远都不安全 You're never safe.
家族必须自卫 The family must protect itself.
知道我想要什么做生日礼物吗 俄罗斯 You know what I want for my birthday? Russia!
路险且阻 但我们终将胜利 It will be hard, but we will prevail.
万岁 Huzzah!
我跟彼得说了 就是你 I told Peter it was you.
他爱你 你怀了他的孩子 He loves you, and you have his baby.
你跟他说我怀孕了吗 You told him that I'm pregnant?
你觉得一个孩子能阻止的了我 You think a child will stop me?
你的孩子 一个男孩 Your child. A son.
你的血脉延存 The preservation of your line.
我能改变世界 I can change the world.
我知道你可以 I know you can.
我们会赢的 We can win this.
里奥会死的 Leo will be dead.
我等你信号 I await your signal.
你对他做了什么 What have you done with him?
我吗 Me?
-放了他 -你不爱他 你爱的是我 - Let him go. - You do not love him. You love me!
你个疯货 You're a mad man!
她现在脾气像爆竹 She is a firecracker.
我从没这样爱过她 I have never loved her more.
我让人胆战心惊 I am terrifying.
一无所获 Nothing.
也许里奥已经 Maybe Leo is...
士兵们都说他不会有希望了 The soldiers all say he is not.
让他们停止搜索吧 Tell them to stop searching.
他死了 He's dead.
绝对他妈死透了 Of course he's fuckin' dead.
-所以他被你包围了 -对 - So, you have him trapped. - Yes.
总算有了点突破 Finally a breakthrough.
他和部队已经撤退到东翼 Him and his forces have retreated to the east wing.
真想不到会花这么久 I didn't think it would take this long.
四个月了 维莱门托夫 死伤无数 Four months, Velementov, and much death.
我都不知道该愤怒还是无聊了 I'm somewhere between bored and enraged.
战争有自己的节奏 Battle has its own rhythm.
你得按部就班地演奏 不能随心所欲 You must play it as it lays, not how you wish it.
我希望这是最后一小节了 I wish it to be the final stanza.
你懂吗 Do you understand?
好吧 我不是想推卸责任 但我们本来想切蛋糕的 Well, not to apportion blame, but if we're cutting the cake,
你想杀死他的欲望 已经偏离了原本的计划 your desire to be the one that kills him has skewed a few plans.
我可以不执着 但你要把这件事搞定 Then I will let that go, and you will get this done.
过来 Come here.
你们干吗呢 What are you doing?
玩耍呗 Playing.
这是个人啊 This is a human being.
曾经是 Uh, was.
他是格里高利·瓦西里夫 Grigori Vasiliv, in fact.
他的生命和你一样珍贵 正如所有俄国人一样 He had a life as precious as yours, as all Russians.
不要因为看不到他和你们生命的宝贵 Do not demean our nation and yourselves by losing sight
就这样玷污我们国家的尊严 of the preciousness of life, yours and his.
扪心自问 我这一辈子能干什么 Ask yourself, what can I make of my life?
我如何修炼内在 升华做人的意义 What intrinsic good can I do that elevates my humanity?
你说的好多词我都不懂 I don't know what a lot of that means.
意思是 不要做小混蛋 "Don't be little shits" is what it means.
赶紧滚吧 Fuck off you go.
能把头还给我们吗 Can we have our head back?
不行 头不能给你们 No! You can't have the head back!
碧池 Bitch!
碧池女皇 Empress bitch!
你管孩子很有一套 You have a way with kids.
但愿如此吧 Let's hope so.
他们都被困在三楼了 我们为什么不进攻 We have them trapped on the third floor. Why are we not attacking?
我正制定计划呢 I am developing a plan.
又是计划 Again?
直接发起攻击不行吗 Why can we not just launch an assault?
我想努力避免不必要的流血 I am trying to avoid unnecessary bloodshed.
但你也逃避了必要的流血 But are you also trying to avoid necessary bloodshed?
作为这里唯一有40年军事经验的人 Since I'm the only person here with 40 years' military experience,
这个区别只有我能判断吧 I expect that's a distinction only I can make.
你如果刚才直接刺了他 I-If you'd just stabbed him when...
你真的想旧事重提吗 奥洛 You really want to go down the path to the past, Orlo?
这样毫无建设性 还很招人烦 It is both unconstructive and very annoying.
我们离胜利又近了一步 尽情夸赞我吧 We are one step closer to victory. Feel free to congratulate me.
你得专注于下一步 You need to concentrate on the next step.
我不会发动毫无意义的攻击 I will not launch a pointless assault.
他们虽然被困 但两翼戒备森严 They are trapped, but they are also heavily fortified on both flanks.
中路强突就是自寻死路 The central path is a death trap.
也就是说你进不去 You can't get in?
用凡夫俗子的话来说 是的 In layman's terms.
凡妇俗女 Laywoman's.
确实 Indeed.
但没错 他被困住了 But yes, he is trapped.
他一定害怕死了 He must be worried.
一定意识到 他落到我手里了 Must know ultimately, I've got him.
陛下 陛下 Emperor... Emperor, if...
我想谈谈下面几天的计划 If I could just talk about the plan for the next few days.
你尽管谈 斯万斯卡 但我不会听的 Of course you may, Svenska, as long as you don't expect me to listen.
-格里格尔 -先生 - Sir. - Grigor.
你来听斯万斯卡讲 偶尔貌似在乎地点点头 Listen to Svenska and nod occasionally as if you give a fuck on my behalf.
我们必须评估一下最新情况 It's just our new situation needs to be assessed and...
就不能享受派对吗 斯万斯卡 你一脸担忧的样子 - Just enjoy the party, Svenska. You've become quite the worrier.
太无聊了 一开口我就想扇你 It is dull and makes me want to punch you when I see you about to speak.
不过 - It's just that... - Ah!
他警告过你了 He warned you.
跟我讲就行 Just tell me.
斯万斯卡也有道理 Svenska has a point.
我们确实被她围住了 She has us trapped.
咱们有麻烦了 I think we're in trouble.
阿卡迪 Arkady?
我是说 她逃不出我们掌心 I mean, we have her!
-万岁 -这还用说 万岁 - Huzzah! - Of course, we do. Huzzah!
没错 这是当然 万岁 Yes, of course we do. Huzzah.
不过 她表现得很好 - But... - She has done well though.
太赞了 我从没这样爱过她 Extraordinary. I've never loved her more.
我能分辨出哪些是她的手法 I can actually tell when a move is hers
哪些是那个胖气球叛徒维莱门托夫的 and not that balloon-shaped traitorous fuck Velementov.
她的手法机智优雅 Her moves have wit and elegance.
而他就像一头得了梅毒的瞎野猪 手里拿着地图 He is like a blind syphilitic wild boar with a map and a gun
蛋蛋上挂着枪 dangling off his ballbag.
我担心的是 My concern is...
失败 losing.
格里戈尔 阿卡迪 你摸摸他的蛋蛋还在不在 Grigor, Arkady, check him for balls.
别他妈碰我 Don't fucking touch me.
左右都在 不错嘛 Oh. A fine set. Bravo.
-让·皮埃尔 -在 - Jean-Pierre! - Uh, oui.
这个鹿肉 有百里香 白兰地 杜松子 还有呢 - The moose. Thyme, brandy, juniper and...?
-茴香子 -啊 怪不得 - Fennel seed. - Ah, that's it! Mm!
我们的下一步行动 我们被包围了 - Our next move. We are trapped...
我们没被困住 We are not trapped.
我们可以从这里出去 穿过地下室 We can go out here and go through the basement,
在森林里集合 然后里应外合重夺胜利 assemble in the forest and retake from up here and below.
但那是明天派对之后的事了 But tomorrow after the party.
他一定在森林中布控了很多人 I am sure he has men stacked in the forest.
咱们试试就知道 Well, let's find out.
我的替身 你在哪儿 Lookalikes! Where are you?
我操 我的替身 Fuck me, lookalikes?
颜值跟我差远了 You're not nearly good-looking enough.
你还行吧 Uh, maybe you.
好 你过来 Okay, you, go.
现在去森林 Head into the forest.
等你走到边缘处 转身挥一挥这个 You make it to the edge, turn and wave this.
斯万斯卡 别紧张 好吗 Oh, Svenska, relax, will you?
斯万斯卡太太 Madam Svenska?
跟他好好打一炮 好吗 帮他泻泻火 Fuck Svenska, will you? Relax him.
我现在根本硬不起来 I actually can't get it up at the moment.
我太担心了 The worry.
有什么好担心的 Why worry?
我们在打仗 你是个战士 你应该享受这个过程 It's war. You're a soldier. You should be loving this.
他害伯被打败 He worries about losing.
他不该害伯 因为众所周知 沙皇一定会胜利 He should not, for as we all know, the Emperor will prevail.
好吧 那我替你操他 我的所有臣民必须充满着 Ah. Well, I will fuck you in his stead, for all my subjects must be happy
喜悦和乐观 如果没有 and filled with joy and optimism, and if they are not,
我会亲自帮他们填满 万岁 I will fill them personally. Huzzah!
不 No!
不用 我可以再试一次 No. I... I can try again.
我觉得我有力量了 I feel strong.
您 您让我浑身上下硬邦邦 陛下 You know, you have... filled me with lead, Emperor.
她打不赢我的 因为 She will not beat me because...
嗯 well...
我可是我啊 I'm me.
我生来就是国王 我是被上帝选中的人 I was born to be Emperor, chosen by God,
上帝怎么会错呢 and is God ever wrong?
阿奇 上帝会犯错吗 Archie? Is God ever wrong?
从不犯错 陛下 Never, Emperor.
他就是太阳 用真理的阳光闪瞎我们的眼 He is the sun blinding us with truth.
听不懂 但你似乎同意我的观点哈 Don't know what that means, but seems to agree with me.
对了 我们能颁发些奖牌吗 Oh, can we hand out some medals?
提振士气 You know, lift morale.
嗯 确实 有意思 Hmm. Indeed. Fun.
你看着不太开心 You don't look like you're having fun.
你真是一如既往的眼光敏锐 - Hmm. Perspicacious, as always.
我来错地方了 I'm in the wrong place.
我承认 看起来很不妙 I admit, it doesn't look good.
给你一卢布 告诉我你在想什么 A ruble for your thoughts.
没什么 Nothing.
不是"我能否接近他 割断他喉咙 然后结束这一切"吗 Not, "Could I get close enough to cut his throat and end this"?
-行吧 -你不能 - Well... - You couldn't.
有卫兵在随时监视 看 His guards are on the watch. Look.
你就好好坐着 听我的话 Just sit tight, stick with me.
耐心些 Patience.
不是我的强项 Not my strong point.
上帝很快就会带来好时机 God will blow the right wind soon.
什么时候才是好时机 What's the right wind?
只有上帝知道 Only God knows that.
我们静观其变就好 We wait on His perfect whim.
吃个牡蛎吧 Have an oyster.
你这些信念又无聊又他妈烦人 Your serene faith is really fucking annoying.
真的吗 Really?
我总是觉得它很有魅力 I always imagined it charismatic and charming.
这真是既荒谬又愚蠢 I find it ridiculous and absurd and fucking idiotic,
而且我竟然还在听你讲这些废话 and I'm sorry I ever listened to a word out of your fucking mouth.
你欠我一个卢布 You owe me a ruble.
为伟大的皇帝 我 做出了无与伦比的贡献的 And for services unparalleled to our great Emperor, me...
主厨让·皮埃尔 Chef Jean-Pierre.
他在一场战争中及时赶到 做了一顿六道菜的大餐 He arrived in the middle of a battle and turned out a six-course degustation
我吃得无话可说 走不动路 整整四天 that left me speechless, legless, and having wet dreams
都梦见了塞满李子的野鸡 of pheasant stuffed with plums for four days.
啊 维诺德尔医生 Ah, Dr. Vinodel!
-国王 -她怎么样了 - Emperor. - How is she?
她的血是红的 胆汁是黄的 Her blood is red, her bile is yellow,
我不太喜欢她上次的便便情况 her shit was not to my liking last time I saw her,
但她的尿液呈淡黄色 而且有水果味 but her urine was straw-looking and fruity to the taste,
所以总的来说 她很好 so on balance, you know, she's fine.
确实 请代我向她问好 Indeed. And give her my best.
我想保罗了 I miss Paul.
我可以继续帮他缝针吗 Hmm. May I continue sewing on this man?
这是真正的身体上的疼痛 Uh, it's an actual physical pain.
替身下线了 Lookalike's out!
什么 Huh?
噢 Ah.
好吧 Okay.
看来他们确实在森林里 Guess they're in the forest.
该死 Shit.
-他们已经躲起来准备埋伏我们 -你进不去吗？ - They're holed up and ready for us. - You can't get in?
进不去 No.
那我们逼他们出来 Then we get them to come out.
你 You.
莫洛托夫 女士 Molotov, ma'am.
把瓶子给我 Mm. Give me your bottle.
伏特加能带来火焰 Vodka catches flame.
不 好了 好了 你 你只要 No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Y-y-you, no, you need to, you need to...
人们本能地会逃离火灾 People instinctively run from fire.
所以我们把他们烧出来 So, we burn them out.
如果我们连带着烧了整座宫殿呢 And if we burn down the palace in the process?
那就再建个新的 奥洛 We'll build a new one, Orlo.
新的宫殿 新的俄国 New palace. New Russia.
你说得对 All right.
我们一小时后出发 We go in an hour.
你去吧 注意安全 You go, be safe.
好 Okay.
你还需要亲自杀了他吗 Do you still need to kill him yourself?
不 我们只要赢 No. Let's just win.
莱门托夫 Velementov.
他们有没有找到 Have they found...?
没 No.
你知道 我们在森林里搜了很多遍 You know, we've searched the forest many times.
你觉得他还活着吗 Do you think he could be alive?
已经过去这么久 It's been a while.
尸体的情况可能 You know, a body would be in a...
我们会继续找 We're looking.
你怎么敢 Don't you dare.
你根本不了解 You don't get that.
玛丽 Mari...
西尔瓦纳 Sylvana?
茶 Tea.
今天好忙 What a day.
要来一杯吗 Want one?
我们可以聊聊天 Mm. We can just talk.
但你不讲话 But you don't.
我 I...
没事 It's okay.
我只是习惯了 I'm just used to...
玛丽亚 Marial.
是的 Yes.
很抱歉我不是她 I'm sorry I'm not her.
你可以走了 You may go.
维诺德尔医生来了 Dr. Vinodel.
我感觉很好 维诺德尔一定要检查吗 I feel fine, Vinodel. Must we?
我得提前道歉 I apologize in advance.
请理解我是被胁迫的 And please understand I was under duress.
什么 What?
天哪 God.
你看起来棒极了 You look great!
别叫士兵 不然我就把维诺德尔的脑袋打爆 Uh, don't call for soldiers or I'll blow Vinodel's head across the room.
我同意国王的意见 请不要大喊大叫 I agree with the Emperor, please don't call out.
也许得喝一杯 Might get a drink actually.
你来这做什么 What are you doing here?
你看起来好极了 You look amazing.
看看你 都变胖了 Look how big you are.
保罗怎么样了 How's Paul?
嗨 保罗 爸爸来了 Hi, Paul. Daddy's here.
我只希望他去杀了她 I just wish he'd go and kill her.
她有他的孩子 She has his baby.
谁都他妈能有个孩子 Anyone can have a fucking baby.
我就有六个 I've got six.
他爱她 He loves her.
这就更糟糕了 Which is really not helping.
时候到了 This is it.
跟上我 伙计 Follow me, men!
哦 上帝啊 快跑 Oh, Jesus Christ! Run!
我们要死了 We're gonna die!
我们得找到他 We have to go get him.
-跑快点 格里戈尔 想想 -乔治 - Just quickly, Grigor. Just thinking. - George!
我们愿意为他而死 对吧 We are prepared to die for him, right?
-虽然我们从来没有真正聊过这个 -我们还没到要死的时候 快走 - We've never really had that chat. - We're not fucking dying. Come on.
问题是我从没想过他会输 Thing is, I never really thought about him losing.
因为他就是不会输 Because he just doesn't.
她要赢了 格里戈尔 She's winning, Grigor.
好吧 如果他输了 我们就完了 Well, if he loses, we're fucked.
没错 但我们可以现在就跑 离开这里去乡村别墅 Exactly, but we could run right now, get out of here, and go to the country house.
你讨厌那间乡下房子 你总是说它太小了 - You hate the country house. You always say it's too small.
那总比棺材要宽敞吧 It's roomier than a coffin.
我想不管我们在哪里 她都会来找我们的 I guess she'd come for us wherever we are.
好吧 她可能不会 她人不错 - Well, she might not. She's quite nice.
如果我是她 我会的 I would if I was her.
但如果我们逃跑 他却赢了 And if we run and then he wins?
那更糟 Hm. That would be bad.
我不知道没有他我能不能活下去 I don't know that I could live without him anyway.
我无法想象只有我们两个 I can't imagine just the two of us.
听到欢呼了吗 Cheering to hear.
我们去找他 Let's go get him.
你过得怎么样 So, how have you been?
我过得怎么样 How have I been?
是的 Yes.
我在和你打仗 就是这样 At war with you, that's how I've been.
这不是很棒吗 我喜欢 Well, hasn't it been great? I've loved it.
你需要让步 Hm. You need to give in.
这种流血必须停止 We need to stop this bloodshed.
瞧 这就是我们之间的区别 我不介意流血 - See, that's the difference between us. I don't mind the bloodshed.
我是说 你不能指望不流血就能统治俄罗斯 I mean, you honestly can't think you can run Russia without bloodshed.
我可以 I can.
我也将做到 I will.
你有时候真可爱 我真想亲你的鼻子 You're so sweet sometimes, I could just kiss you on the nose.
啊 Ah!
哦 对不起 疼不疼 Oh, sorry, did that hurt?
当然疼 Yes.
面对现实吧 反正你也不想打仗 Let's face it, your heart wasn't in it anyway.
-我们不想杀了彼此 -不敢苟同 - We don't want to kill each other. - Fervently disagree.
你得停止 You need to stop or...
你会输的 You'll lose?
老实说 这不是一个很好的论点 That's not a great argument, to be honest.
不 否则我就要认真了 No. Or I will have to get serious and start trying,
那样你和保罗可能会受伤 and then you or Paul will get hurt.
我会赢的 I'm winning!
我喜欢你这么想 我就知道你会这么说 - I love that you think that. I knew you would.
所以我才来告诉你 咱们玩儿得差不多了 That's why I thought I should come down and tell you I think we've had enough fun.
这一点都不好玩 This isn't fun.
人民垂死 俄国瘫痪 People are dying. Russia is paralyzed.
那就停下来吧 Then stop and that will stop.
能让你放弃的理由太多了 So many great reasons for you to give up.
比如说 我们可以做爱 For instance, we can fuck.
那可算不上理由 Hm. Not a strong argument.
我敢说你很想念我的舌头 I bet you've missed my tongue.
想过把它剪掉 如果那也算的话 I did dream about cutting it out, so perhaps.
我只是不想出意外 I just don't want an accident.
如果走廊里的保皇派抓住了你 Some loyalist in the hallway grabs you,
把你那漂亮的脑袋撞到墙上 smacks your delightfully shaped skull against a wall
直到它扁掉 害死你和保罗 until it shatters and caves in, killing you and Paul.
你能想象我会有多难过吗 You know, can you imagine how upset I'd be?
我可以操你的尸体好几天 我想让你知道 I'd fuck your dead body for days. I want you to know that.
恶 Jesus.
没错 Exactly.
我的爱很沉重 My love is strong.
看在保罗的份上 我们应该停下来 We should stop for Paul's sake.
你是对的 You're right.
所以 你放弃 让我杀了你 So, you give up, let me kill you,
我会告诉保罗你是个多么了不起的人 and I'll tell Paul what a marvelous person you were.
-我想念这个果决的你 -哦 - I've missed your pithy self. - Oh.
保罗刚才是踢你了吗 Did Paul just kick you?
是的 Yes.
他知道我在这里 He knows I'm here!
保罗 Paul?
我也想你 I miss you too.
你在哭吗 Are you crying?
什么 没有 What? No.
是的 Yes.
该死 Shit.
看 我给他做的 Look. I made this for him.
嗯 Hm.
-很可爱 -多谢 - It's cute. - Thanks.
伙计 Men!
别再固执了 Don't be stubborn.
虽然我很喜欢 但有时候真他妈让人受不了 I mean, I love it, but it's fucking wearing at times.
就像现在 Like right now.
樱桃 Cherries?
你怎么弄到樱桃的 How are you getting cherries?
我们不能在东翼可吃不上樱桃 We're not getting cherries in the east wing.
人们更喜欢我 People like me better.
不可能 因为你没我有趣 Well, I'm fun, you're not, so I doubt that's true.
你让一些人相信事情可以变得更好 但事实并非如此 You have convinced a few people things can be better, which they can't,
所以你对他们撒谎了 so you have lied to them.
如果你赢了 等大家发现只是一场空时 你就完了 And if you won, things would go badly once they realized the lie.
见鬼 Oh, shit.
是你发动的攻击吗 Did you launch an attack?
是的 Yes.
但我不在场 And I'm not there.
对我来说是个良机 对你来说却不是 It's bad timing for you, good timing for me.
就好像即便我没有认真去考虑这些事 It's like there's something in my head where I always know what to do,
也总是会预先知道该怎么去做 even though I never really think about it.
所以我才是神选之人吧 I guess that's why God chose me.
你会死的 彼得 You're going to die, Peter.
接受这个结果你就能挽救数以百计的生命 You can save hundreds of lives by just accepting that.
为了俄国去死吧 Do it for Russia.
让我体现自己的无私吗 这对我没什么吸引力 You know, I'm not sure appealing to my selfless side has a lot of traction.
我觉得你可以的 I think it does.
我真的相信 I really believe that.
我了解你的心 I know your heart.
你还真是乐观 这也是我爱你的一个原因 You are ever an optimist, another thing I love about you.
我们有麻烦了 We have a problem.
是吗 什么麻烦 Oh, you do? Do tell.
女皇陛下 你胖了 Empress, you look big.
谢谢 Thanks.
你得出来了 You need to come.
我先告个别 Uh, let me just say goodbye.
我的耐心要消磨殆尽了 My patience is wearing thin.
爱你 Love you.
再见保罗 Bye, Paul.
真是头痛死了 I have the worst headache.
我们需要发明 Silent weapons.
无声的武器才行 That's what we need to invent.
那用起来还有什么乐趣 What would be the fun of that?
-替身而已 -真是个糟糕的活计啊 - Lookalike. - Such a shit job.
给的钱又不多 They don't even get paid much.
我得坐下歇会 I need to sit down for a minute.
我继续找吧 I'll keep searching.
等你找到了阿奇 朝他两条腿各来一枪 然后来喊我 When you find Archie, shoot him in both legs, then get me.
确保确保手边有把锤子和匕首什么的 我来结果他 Make sure there's a hammer and some small knives handy and I will finish it.
天哪 这是战争 奥洛 Jesus, it's a war, Orlo.
你为什么搞得跟私人恩怨似的 Why are you taking it personally?
跑起来胖子 没时间了 Run, fatso. Your time is up!
投降吧 Give up.
我得先杀了你 I just need to kill you first.
你应该跟我们一起才对 You should be with us!
我想说了算 I want to be the boss.
我先杀了你 然后再加入你们 为她而战 I'll kill you and cross the floor and get hired, fight for her.
但是得先完成杀了你这一步 But first the "kill you" part.
我去 Shit.
你还真是要翘辫子了呢 Your time really is up.
别担心 我会一枪射中你的心脏 这样就不会再疼了 Well, don't worry, I'll blow your fucking heart out and it won't hurt anymore.
敢叫我胖子 Don't call me fatso.
没找到彼得 No sign of Peter.
嗯 Ah.
安托万 Antoine!
对不起女士 Apologies, Madam.
简直是场灾难 It's a disaster up there.
灾难都不足以形容 Ah. An understatement.
-斯万斯卡在哪 -不知道 - Well, where's Svenska? - Don't know.
-我们得赶紧离开这 -这是最好的办法了 - We need to get out of here. - It does seem felicitous.
不不不 我不逃跑的 No, no, no, I don't run.
彼得大帝怎么会逃离自己的宫殿 Peter the Great's son does not run from his own fucking palace!
如果她找不到你就杀不了你 If she can't find you, she can't kill you.
如果她杀不了你 她就赢不了 If she can't kill you, she can't win.
没错 Right.
我还活着她就做不了俄国大帝 She can't be head of Russia while I'm alive,
所以我不是要逃跑 我是为了胜利 so I'm not running, I'm winning.
没错 马车和马匹都准备好了 - Exactly. I have a carriage and horses waiting.
那就走吧 Well, let's go!
我不知道在哪 但我有个非常棒的主意 我们赢定了 I don't know where, but I shall have another great idea and we will prevail.
什么叫不知道在哪 What do you mean nowhere?
他们搜查了整个宫殿 他不在了 They searched the palace, he's gone.
看到有马车离开宫殿 可能就是他们 - Carriages and horses were seen leaving. Probably them.
有人跟着他们吗 Well, did anyone follow?
他比我们更了解这宫殿 在外围发现了一个缺口 - He knows the palace better than anyone. He found a gap in our perimeter.
他会去哪呢 Where do we think he went?
有六个皇家庄园 应该就在其中之一 There are six royal estates, we suspect one of those.
我就不能对外宣称他已经死了 然后自己加冕吗 Uh, can't I just say he's dead and crown myself?
不行 他逃去了地方 可以到地方宫廷取得他们的支持 No, he is out in the regions, able to go to regional courts and gather support.
他应该正打算这么做 That is what he'll be on his way to do.
见鬼 Shit! Ah!
不 我是替身 No, lookalike!
我叫瓦列里·普加乔夫 Valery Pugachev.
刚卸任 所以没必要在我离开的时候朝我后背开枪 Recently resigned, so no need to shoot me as I leave.
女皇陛下 祝你好运 那家伙就是个疯子 Empress, all the best of luck. He's a fucking madman, that one.
额 Ehh...
顺便说一句 你真美 You're very beautiful, by the way.
额 Eh.
我已经下令了 如果你敢接近我的住处 他们就会朝你开枪 I'm pretty sure I gave orders to have you shot if you approached my quarters.
你低估了我的人缘 You underestimate how well liked I am.
要我怎么做呢 What's it going to take?
道歉吗 An apology or something?
你背叛了我 道歉也没有用 There is no apology big enough for betraying me.
真遗憾 我是在救你 却被你当做背叛 I'm sorry... that you've interpreted me saving your life as a betrayal.
你看问题总是用批判的眼光 又很狭隘 真的不太符合你的性格 It is a punitive, narrow view of things and does not speak well of your character.
-喝茶吗 -你背叛了我 - Tea? - You betrayed me.
-救了你 -背叛了 - Saved. - Betrayed.
你还活着吗 Are you alive?
-很明显 -那还有什么好说的 - Clearly. - Then I rest my case.
都四个月了 我以为几天能完成的事 It has taken me four months instead of days.
你没能杀了他 所以这一切才偏离了正轨 Well, you couldn't kill him, that is what derailed us.
不能推诿 Not to cast blame.
我没杀他 不是不能 两者是有所不同的 I didn't kill him, which is different from couldn't.
嗯 Hm.
你茶煮的还挺好喝的 You do know how to make tea.
看看你啊 Look at you.
那东西 That thing.
我把它称之为婴儿 I call it the baby.
-感觉奇怪吗 -非常奇怪 - Is it strange? - Very.
给我说说 So, tell me.
感觉非常真实 又非常不真实 It is real, but also not real.
我常常尿裤子 And I piss myself a lot.
又喜欢吃土 And like to eat dirt.
我觉得如果上帝真的爱女人 应该让我们产卵 You know, I think if God really loved women, we'd lay eggs.
我想你了 I've missed you.
再来点茶 More tea?
现在看着我的眼睛 Look me in the eye a moment.
你看到什么了 What do you see?
你知道我看到什么了吗 You know what I see?
跟你在我眼中看到的一模一样 It is what you see in mine.
再来点茶 More tea.
见鬼了 这蓝莓太好吃了 就像知更鸟射在你嘴里一样 Fuck me, these blueberries are good, like a bluebird cumming in your mouth.
再给我来点 格里格尔 Give me some more, Grigor.
-没了 -什么叫没了 - Ah, that's it. - What do you mean that's it?
我们走的太匆忙 就拿了衣服什么的 We just grabbed clothes and bags of stuff.
我没想到拿吃的 I didn't really think about food.
这绝对是我的疏忽 现在我知道了 Wh-which was an oversight. I think I see that now.
你是说你根本没有考虑到我 我可是你的国王和最好的朋友啊 You mean you really didn't think about me, your Emperor and best friend?
我们是在逃亡 We were all running for our lives.
草 Fuck!
至少带了让·皮埃尔吧 Tell me you at least brought Jean-Pierre.
我们到了村子里可以弄点吃的 We'll pick things up in the villages.
我们可以 Eh, w-we can...
可以什么 We can what?
在隔壁村捡到一条鲑鱼和藏红花蒜泥蛋黄酱吗 Pick up a salmon en croute with a saffron aioli in the next village?
我们会想办法的 We'll work something out.
真是太让人失望了 This is very disappointing.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我饿着还怎么制定战略 You know, I don't strategize well when I'm hungry. Mm?
我们的帝国岌岌可危了 The empire may now be at risk.
早知道不吃这么快了 I wouldn't have eaten them so fast, would I?
我就这么看着你 你仿佛是个熟透的苹果一样 As I watched you, you began to more and more resemble a ripe apple.
我差点要咬一口你的脸蛋尝尝了 I was about to bite your cheek out.
你错过了不少 You have missed much.
离开你真是种折磨啊 但我病了不能走动 It was torment being away, but I became ill, and I could not travel.
彼得跑了 Peter's gone.
我听说了 I heard that.
我就知道你会获胜 You shall prevail, I know it.
让我看看他 Let me see him.
真美啊 Oh... so beautiful.
我还记得我当时 Oh, I remember when I was...
-抱歉 -不不 - I'm sorry. - No, no.
没必要为我抱歉 Don't be sorry...
当时的每一刻我都很享受 I loved every minute of it.
我给你带了只青蛙 I brought you a frog.
吃的吗 To eat?
女性平均流产三到七次 The average woman has three to seven miscarriages.
我们可要保好胎 We must keep this carriage on the road.
躺好 Lay back.
乡村陪产妇都用这个 The village doulas use them,
所以乡村产妇的流产率要低于宫廷 and the rate of miscarriage is markedly lower in the villages than the court.
维诺德尔医生 Dr. Vinodel.
女皇殿下 我 Empress, I...
哦 Oh.
你在弄青蛙保胎 You're doing the frog?
嗯 青蛙保胎 Yes, I'm doing the frog.
这是不足以采信的骗局 It is discredited hocus pocus.
相反 我决定把鼠尾草放进女王陛下的体内 Instead I will insert this sage bundle into the royal cunt
这可比青蛙管用多了 and that will do what the frog purports to.
我可不让你放进来 That is not going inside me.
天哪 幸好我在 不许你碰她 - Oh, gosh, I'm glad I'm here. Get away from her.
早餐来了 Ah, breakfast.
比目鱼刺身 Some raw sliced turbot
农家奶酪涂在面包上 and some farmhouse cheeses slathered on bread
每天早上还有一杯伏特加 with a shot of vodka every morning.
对婴儿来说这早餐有点太重口了 - Mm. - It is too rich for the baby's blood.
他生下来后会成个结巴的 He will be born with a stutter.
总比你给我每天弄的7大碗鸡汤 Seems better than the seven bowls of chicken broth
要好的多吧 维诺德尔医生 you make me eat each day, Vinodel.
从现在开始让我来照顾你吧 I will take care of you now.
我得听一下婴儿的心跳 I must listen for a heartbeat.
如果没有心跳的话 青蛙早跳走了 If there was not a heartbeat, the frog would hop off.
上帝啊 Oh, dear God.
你可以走了 维诺德尔 You may go, Vinodel.
你知道彼得可能去哪吗 Do you know where Peter might go?
-你检查橱柜了吗 -橱柜 - Did you check the cupboards? - The cupboards?
见过他母亲之后 说他时不时消失几天 After seeing his mother, he would often disappear for days
然后都会在橱柜里找到 里面还有火腿和泰迪熊 and would generally be found in a cupboard with a ham and a teddy.
那去看看吧 I guess we could check.
里奥呢 And Leo?
我 I, uh...
你真是心硬如铁 You have steel in your heart.
我也曾心碎过 My broken heart.
等孩子出生了 你就会意识到什么叫爱 You will realize you haven't even known love until this baby comes out,
从此之后 男人不过是你的玩物而已 and men forever after will be merely useful trinkets.
对俄国和孩子的爱足以填满你的内心 Russia and a child to love will fill your heart to overflowing.
让青蛙待20分钟 Leave the frog on for 20 minutes.
怎么会藏在这种奇怪的地方 Strange place to hide.
他跑了 他们没理由到他的房间来找他 He's gone. They have no reason to search his room for him.
他们要是发现你会杀了你的 They'll kill you if they find you.
奥兰多的鼻孔里还有血呢 Orlo has blood in his nostrils.
此刻有些决定看似正确 In the moment, some decisions seem so right
但很快它们就会让你困扰 and yet they come back to haunt you.
谢谢 Thanks.
你知道他在哪吗 Do you know where he is?
我不知道 I do not.
你在骗我吧 You lying to me?
我从没骗过你 以后也不会 I have never and will never.
但你却无法对我说这种话 The same cannot be said for you to me.
如果你早告诉我她的计划事情就不会搞成这样了 How different things could have been if you'd told me of her plan.
你想现在跟我讨论这个吗 You really want to have that conversation now?
不想 No.
我在还是想躲起来 I just need to hide.
她怎么样 How is she?
我们原谅了彼此 We have forgiven each other.
我们对彼此的思念和向往战胜了 I think the weight of our yearning for each other slightly outweighs
我们对彼此的怨恨 the grudge we carry.
那就好 Hm. That's good.
现在她占了上风 你这么演是对的 The wind blows her way. Well played.
我这不是表演 是真心 It is not a play.
如果能的话先救我吧 Save me if you can.
你知道我会这么做的 You know I will.
你要去哪 Where will you go?
森林 去和上帝交谈 The forest... to commune with God.
告诉他别再无所事事了 Tell Him He needs to get his act together,
赶紧把那个混蛋彼得吹进坟墓 blow that cunt Peter into his grave.
杂种 Fucker.
让-皮埃尔 Oh! Jean-Pierre.
卧槽 Fucker!
叫醒维莱门托夫 Oh! Wake Velementov!
好 Empress.
这些人怎么活下去的 How do these people live?
我都不知道他们受了多少苦 I had no idea how they suffered.
等这一切结束 我们得教会他们做更美味的面包 When this is over, we need to give them better bread recipes.
哈 Hah!
终于有吃的了 终于有吃的了 Food at last! Food at last!
让-皮埃尔 让-皮埃尔 Jean-Pierre! Jean-Pierre!
你最好10分钟内给我准备出蒜蓉烤蜗牛 You better have some snails in garlic butter in ten fucking min...
见鬼 大事不好了 Shit. That's not good.
我都说了不要回去拿食物 I said don't go back for food.
行了乔治 别抱怨了 否则我就再也不给你舔逼 Don't be a blamer, George, or I will never fuck you with my tongue
让它融化在我嘴里了 so that you literally melt in my mouth again.
天哪 Jesus Christ.
抱歉 格里格尔 我是说抱怨不是什么好品格 Sorry, Grigor. I'm saying blame is not an attractive characteristic.
死了也一样 Neither is dead.
去抓住他 Go get him!
见鬼 哥萨克人 Shit! Cossacks!
快点 Come on!
别杀她 杀别人就行了 Uh, and don't shoot her! Just everyone else.
女皇陛下 Empress.
我会从附近的村庄多弄点船来 I'll get more boats brought from nearby villages.
那结果不也是一样 Won't the same just happen again?
确实 他有哥萨克人 那些人可猛了 Indeed. He's got Cossacks, those fuckers don't stop.
我们可以晚上从另外一个点进行突袭 We'll go from a different spot, at night.
凯瑟琳 外面太冷了 Catherine, it's freezing.
我让他们给你搭了个帐篷 I had them put up a tent for you.
-我们今天就得杀了他 -是的 - We need to kill him today. - We shall.
她不会杀他的 她答应过我 - Well, she's not killing him. She promised me.
而且这本来就是个坏主意 And it would be a terrible idea anyway.
在其它地区统治者的眼中 她继位将失去合法性 Politically it would delegitimize her in the eyes of many regions.
他们一直认为他是神选之人 They regard him as chosen by God
而她不过是个邮购新娘 一个好斗的德国小丫头 and her as a grabby little German chosen by mail order.
她需要让他主动退位才行 She needs him to abdicate.
这样可不行 That's not the plan.
凯瑟琳 Catherine?
我需要休息 I need to rest.
嗯 Mm.
凯瑟琳 我有话要跟你说 Catherine, a moment.
天哪 那是土吗 Oh, good God, is that dirt?
没错 Indeed.
控制不住想吃 Cravings.
千万别怀孕 简直像是你的身体发动了政变 Don't get pregnant, Orlo. It's like a coup on your body.
说回刚才的话题 我们需要杀了那个混蛋 Speaking of which, we need to kill this cunt.
我发现你对此有所保留 I noticed some reservations with Elizabeth.
我们需要杀了他 阿奇 格里格尔还有乔治娜 We need to kill him, Archie, Grigor and Georgina.
真是个名副其实的杀戮盛宴呢 Oh, a veritable killing spree.
我们原来不是说好要一步步来吗 What happened to my incremental progress, small steps,
要有理性 要实现官僚主义 rational, tiny dreams bureaucrat?
你必须杀了他们啊 You know you have to.
你也应该想杀他 他杀了里奥 And you should want to, he fucking killed Leo.
不 No.
是我杀了里奥 I did that.
好吧好吧 我们别在这事上纠缠了 Okay, okay, let's, let's not get distracted by that.
你 你原本的想法就是抓住他 让他退位 然后再杀掉他 Y-Your original idea was catch him, make him abdicate, kill him later.
可能是因为那时的我还很懦弱胆小吧 Because then I still had fear in my cowardly heart.
但现在 我的心坚如磐石 我知道想要赢就只能这么做 Now my heart is fucking hard as a rock and that's how it must be
只有这样才能改变这个国家 if we are to win and if we are to change this country.
我不同意 I disagree.
我们的未来充满诗意和美好 There is the poetry of what we want,
但要达成这样的未来则需要鲜血和暴力 and there is the blood and grind of how we get it.
我知道你的想法了 I have your opinion and counsel.
谢谢你 但我还要吃土 你的建议我也会考虑 I thank you, but I have dirt to eat and my own counsel to take.
要用头脑而不是用心去考虑 凯瑟琳 Head not heart, Catherine.
要理性不要暴怒 奥洛 Reason not rage, Orlo.
你刚才那捧土里有个虫子 There's a worm in that clump.
你应该睡会 You should be sleeping.
我睡不着 I can't.
你喜欢她吗 Did you like her?
喜欢死了 I adored her.
但是因为她对他的残忍 伤害了他 But the way she was cruel to him broke something in him.
一个孩子应该被浓浓的爱包围 这样就没有什么能伤害他们 A child should float in a bubble of love so that nothing can touch them,
至少小时候应该这样 at least while they're young.
就像你对伊戈尔那样吗 Was that what you did with Igor?
是的 I did.
至少我认为是如此 I at least know I did that.
他怎么死的 How did he die?
在湖里淹死的 Drowned in the lake.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
我还记得在他的葬礼上 她从我身边经过然后说 I remember at his funeral, she walked past me and she said,
这是我第一次嫉妒你 "It's the first time I've envied you."
天哪 Jesus.
我可能真的会杀了他 I may have to kill him.
我希望你知道 Know that.
我想让他活下来 I want him to live...
因为我爱他 because I love him.
而且如果你可以 And if you can...
不用杀人但仍能夺得王位 为什么非要杀人呢 not take a life and still get what you want, then why take the life?
只有男人才会做那种蠢事 Only men are dumb enough to do that.
所以他们才会不断自取灭亡 It's why they're endlessly creating their own destruction.
他们就像被困在桶里的小熊猫 They're like little pandas trapped in a barrel,
他们都有刀 他们互相厮杀 and they all have knives and they cut each other up
却不知道用刀切开桶后逃跑 rather than using the knives to cut open the barrel and run free.
你这个比喻可真复杂 It is a complicated set of metaphors.
复杂吗 哪部分复杂了 Is it? Which part?
我让他活下来 那对我而言就有风险 不是这样吗 If I let him live, it is a danger to me, is it not?
你可以控制他啊 You can control him.
我可没把握 I'm not sure.
亲爱的 你用了不到一年就夺走了他的国家 My dear, you have taken his country in barely a year.
可他仍然爱你 And he still loves you.
这倒是事实 Indeed.
-草 -我们需要一个计划 - Fuck. - We need a plan.
我们需要吃顿像样的饭 We need a decent meal.
没吃的我无法思考 I can't think like this.
我们可以弄条船然后在晚上逃到对岸 We could take a boat and try to get to the other bank at night.
他们会用枪射击的 They'll gun us down.
她不会杀我的 Ah, she won't kill me.
如果我们能到达对岸 那就成功离开了 If we make it to the other bank, we're away.
-这太危险了 -也许吧 - It's too dangerous. - Maybe.
我们试试看 Let's find out. Hmm.
开火 Fire!
你他妈开什么玩笑 Are you fucking kidding?
那有可能是我啊 That could've been me!
草 Fuck.
又是替身 Lookalike.
你没事吧 You all right?
没事 Yes.
你也睡不着吗 Can't sleep either?
我真不敢相信她差点杀了我 I can't believe she would've killed me.
我是说 她也偷偷地爱着我 可能她自己都没意识到 I mean, she loves me secretly, possibly even secretly from herself.
我真他妈饿死了 I'm so fucking hungry.
是嘛 Right.
我有东西给你吃 I know something you could eat.
士气还很高涨嘛 Morale is still high.
听起来好像是 So it seems.
我教得好 I taught him well.
让-皮埃尔 Jean-Pierre.
是 女皇陛下 Yes, Empress.
这他妈是什么味 What the fuck is that?
嗯 Hmm.
闻到了吗 Oh, smell that!
真是美味 Delicious.
谢谢 Merci.
我想他应该会喜欢苹果 马郁兰和干邑混在一起的味道 I thought he would love apples and marjoram and cognac.
他一定会喜欢的 让-皮埃尔 Indeed, he would, Jean-Pierre.
这味道简直太好闻了 That smells amazing.
是苹果和干邑吗 Is that apples and cognac?
还有马郁兰 With marjoram.
哥萨克人帮我们抓了一只老鼠 The Cossacks caught a rat for us.
-你他妈开玩笑呢吧 -老鼠 - Are you fucking kidding? - A rat?
太好了 一定很美味 Uh, brilliant! I bet it's marvelous.
比起烤猪 我更喜欢吃老鼠 I love rats more than pigs!
嗯 Hmm.
是慢烤还是切片还是油煎呢 Mm, slow roast or fillet and flash fry?
我会吐的 I'm gonna throw up.
别这样 我可以弄点野草洋葱辣汁 - Oh, come on. I'll make a little weed salsa verde.
可有不少老鼠呢 Ha. There's lots of rats.
应该足够我们吃饱 然后想出下一步计划来 This'll keep us going till the next part of the plan arrives in my head.
噢 Oh.
那就油煎吧 Let's flash fry. Yeah.
我跟你说 格里格尔 就是这种时刻才能打造一个男人 I tell you, Grigor, it's moments like this that make a man.
-这杂草放在哪里呢 -跟浆果放一起 - What do I put in these weeds? - Berries.
如果有朗姆酒就好了 Some rum if we've got it.
有件小事 你说过不会再干乔治了 - Small thing... you said you wouldn't fuck George.
我一年总要说两回吧 I thought I said twice a year.
昨晚 Last night.
你们说什么 You what?
我们有个君子协定 We had a gentlemen's agreement.
我想跟谁干 想什么时候干 这事由我决定 你们俩都给我记着 - I will fuck who I want, when I want. Know that, both of you.
好吧 我们应该尊重你的愿望 Hmm. We shall respect your wishes.
-格里格尔 -天哪 - Grigor? - Jesus.
煎好了 Okay, I think that's ready.
嗯 Mm.
闻起来 The smell is...
味好大 strong, but...
不过味大也挺好 strong is good.
哈 Ha.
嗯 Hmm.
额 Uh...
草 Fuck!
去他的 我不能饿死啊 不行 Fuck it. I'm not starving to death, not doing it.
-去弄艘船 -他们可能会把你射穿的 - Get the boat! - They might shoot you as you cross.
我知道 格里格尔 所以我不去 - I know that, Grigor! That's why I'm not going.
-乔治去 -我去 - George is. - I am?
估计他想要乌拉尔地区和一千万卢布 He'll want the Urals, ten million rubles,
或者安全通行到挪威外加五千万卢布 or safe passage to Norway and 50 million rubles.
最好是乌拉尔归我们 当然还有更好的办法 Ideally the Urals for us, but better than that,
就是先达成交易 然后等他过来我们就朝他的头来一枪 strike the deal, then we shoot him in the head once he's over here.
他会退位 只要你答应一件事 He will abdicate, but he wants one thing.
什么事 Yes?
每天和你还有保罗待20分钟 Twenty minutes a day with Paul and you.
-就这样吗 -他还有些细节要跟你谈 但条件就是如此 - That's it? - He has some details he wants to cut up with you, but that's it.
这是个圈套 It's a trap.
我同意见他 他很安全 I will see him. He is safe.
让他来吧 Tell him to come.
你 去给我拿吃的 You! Bring me that food.
不行 No!
行了吧 你赢了 我可以吃东西 Oh, come on, you won. I can eat.
等我们达成交易后你才能吃 Not until we have a deal.
你这样我可就回去再想办法赢回来了 I can go back and think of ways to win.
黑猪火腿 黑麦和腌甜菜上面撒了茴香花粉 There's black pig ham dusted with fennel pollen on rye with pickled beets.
草 Fuck me.
好吧 那就赶紧谈吧 Okay, let's do a deal.
你要被软禁在乌拉尔的一幢房子里 The deal is, you live in the Urals in a house under house arrest.
格里格尔和乔治娜可以跟你一起 Grigor and Georgina may go with you.
乌拉尔 这可太糟糕了 The Urals? That is a terrible idea.
-我知道你可能不喜欢 但是 -为了你 - I understand you don't like it, but... - No, for you.
你想让我单独住在封地 You want me in a region alone?
我分分钟就可以用魅力买通守卫 I'll charm and buy off the guards in no time,
获得封地人民的拥护 然后再重新打败你 gather the region's loyalists and relaunch against you.
我不应该告诉你我的计划 I probably shouldn't have told you that.
但是我关心你 But I care for you.
这是我的负担 我对你的爱深沉而热烈 You know, that's my burden. My love for you hangs heavy.
是啊 Right.
你真的想统治俄国吗 You sure you want to run Russia?
你在制定策略方面反应有点慢 You're a little slow on the strategy front.
那你也退位了 And yet you are abdicating.
好吧 Toosh. Eh.
我总是忘记说额 I always forget the "eh."
好吧 我的主意 Okay. My idea.
我还住在宫殿里 I live in the palace as I have done,
开派对 打猎 party, hunt.
白天 你统治俄国 You run Russia while I'm doing this by day,
然后晚上我们激情做爱 and at night we have much fiery sex,
等保罗出生后 他来掌管俄国 and when Paul is born, he takes Russia.
然后我们继续热情似火直到有一天我们失去了激情 We then have more fiery sex until one day our hearts give out
我们就意淫着彼此对着一棵树做爱 as we pleasure each other senseless against a tree in the forest.
我甚至梦到过这个场景 You know, I actually had a dream where that happened.
我也梦到过我把你扔进一口井里 I had a dream where I dropped you down a well
原本以为里面是一池的开水 that I thought was full of boiling water
结果最后却变成了一群饥饿的熊 but turned out to be full of angry starving bears.
-我更喜欢我的梦 -我也不会跟你做爱的 - I like mine better. - And I'm not having sex with you.
这么说真是既无礼又短视 Seems rude and also short-sighted.
我一看见你 下面立刻干成沙漠 I look at you and go dry like sand.
草 你可真是 Fuck me, you are a...
嗯 Hmm.
你越这样折磨我 我就越想要你 The more you toy with me, the harder my cock gets.
那里有柔软的橡树 There are softer oak trees.
我其实可以杀了你的 I could just kill you if I wanted.
没必要啊 You won't have to.
如果你不让我见保罗 我自己结果自己好了 If you don't let me see Paul, I'll do it myself.
每天20分钟就好 拜托了 Just 20 minutes a day. Please.
我只是想跟你和保罗在一起 I just want to be with you and Paul.
这就是你想要的 That's what you want?
对 Yeah.
宫殿里软禁 同意 Palace house arrest, agreed.
和保罗共进早餐 同意 Breakfast with Paul, agreed.
做爱 不同意 Sex, not agreed.
-用舌头呢 -不同意 - Tongue trick? - Not agreed.
你会后悔的 You'll regret that.
让-皮埃尔给我 I get Jean-Pierre. My chef.
-好 -打猎呢 - Fine. - And hunting?
我可不会给你一杆枪 I'm not giving you a gun.
周围都是拿枪的士兵 Have me under armed sight at any time
他们随时可以一枪打爆我的头 and they may blow my fucking head off at their whim.
不行 No.
那我们这事可以再商量 So, we'll leave that one to be negotiated.
你要知道 Know this.
你的警卫会接到这样的命令 如果你胆敢越轨 他们随时可以杀你 Your guards will have orders to kill you at their whim,
把你活切成片 内脏拿出来煮汤 fillet you alive, boil your organs
然后不放调料就喂给你吃 and force-feed you them unseasoned if you step out of line once.
你只有一次机会 不是两次 只要有一次就死定了 Once. Not twice. Once.
不放调料 Unseasoned?
这太残忍了 Barbaric.
你真棒 遵守承诺 也许你真的可以做到 Good for you. Shows promise. Maybe you can do this.
好 那就这么定了 All right, we have a deal.
奥洛 Orlo!
等一下 我还是国王呢 Wait. I'm still Emperor.
还是 Just...
让我来吧 Yeah, I'll do this.
奥洛 Orlo!
你个混蛋叛徒 让我签的文件准备好了吗 Lobcock traitorous fuckhead, do you have a document for me to sign?
准备好了 I do.
拿来啊 Well, bring it here.
草 我觉得你需要个更好的顾问大臣 Fuck me, you may need better advisers.
最后一次机会 Last chance.
我们坐进马车 忘了政变的事 然后一路做爱回家 We get in the carriage, forget the coup, and fuck all the way home.
赶紧签吧 Just sign it.
火腿呢 Where's that ham?
亲爱的 我一听说就马上过来了 求他们放你一条生路 Darling, I came as soon as I heard and begged for your life.
抱歉了阿姨 我知道你吓坏了 - I'm sorry, Aunt. I know you're devastated.
只要你活着就好 You're alive, that's all I need.
草 Mm. Fuck me.
格里格尔 尝尝这个火腿 Grigor, taste this ham. Mm.
这就成了吧 I guess that's it.
他签的是自己的名字吧 He signed his own name, right?
是 Yes.
俄国是我的了 It's mine.
让大家集合 Gather everyone around.
集合 前进 Men! Forward!
还有件事 Oh, one thing.
里奥的头在我那 I have Leo's head.
什么 What?
之前有个守卫给我的 Some guards gave it to me way back when.
把它给做成木乃伊了 Had it mummified.
不知道你想不想要 还是说你现在已经不记得他了 Not sure whether you want it or forgot him by now probably.
他的头在你手里 You have his head?
我没带在身上哈 Mm. Not with me, obviously.
在呢 Oh. N-no we do.
什么 你带来了吗 What? With us?
就在我们离开时拿的几个包裹里面 It was in one of the bags we grabbed when we left.
太好了 去拿吧 Good. Great. Get it.
嗯 Huh.
这事就这么结束了 感觉很奇怪对吧 It's a strange feeling, it being over, isn't it?
不过我们站在一起感觉还挺正常的 And yet so normal to be standing together as one.
-你不需要 -拿来了 - You don't really have... - Got it!
好 Great.
给你 Mm. Here we are.
好吧 回家见 Okay, see you at home.
爱你 Love you.
那火腿太好吃了 That fucking ham!
凯瑟琳大帝 Empress Catherine the Great!
万岁 Huzzah!
万岁 万岁 Huzzah! Huzzah!
万岁 万岁 Huzzah! Huzzah...
你没事吧 You all right?
你为什么 Why are you...
-什么 -开心 我们输了 - What? - Happy? We lost.
是嘛 Did we?
你退位了啊 这还不是输了吗 Well, you did abdicate, so you could say lost for sure.
我开心是因为我有计划了 I'm happy because I have a plan.
一个聪明的计划 A brilliant one.
给我点好吃的火腿 Give me some of that marvelous ham!
祝福我们的新领袖 凯瑟琳大帝 I bless our new leader, Catherine the Great.
我把俄国让给她了 I gave her Russia.
她的权力只是幻像 等时机一到我就会粉碎她的幻想 Her power is an illusion that I will shatter when the time is right.
我们会发动政变 We will coup her.
我们曾经幸福美满过 可以昨日重现啊 We were all happy once. We can be again.
阿卡迪和我一直在制定战略 Arkady and I have been strategizing.
兔子 Rabbit.
你能专注于推翻她的这个计划吗 Can you actually focus on the "unseating her" plan?
这是一个王朝 This is a dynasty.
如果她爱你 就可以多生几个孩子 If she loves you, you will make more babies.
然后保护住我们的家族 And protect the family line.
你必须让她爱你 You must make her love you.
我们可以做爱吗 Should we have sex?
我宁愿被这只小鸡噎死 I'd rather choke to death on this tiny chicken.
你母亲来了 Your mother is on her way here.
母亲 Mother!
万岁 Huzzah!
你女儿是俄国之福 Your daughter is the best thing to happen to Russia.
那我们就是敌人了 Well that makes us enemies.
因为俄国是她生命中最糟糕的一件事 Because Russia is the worst thing to happen to her.
你是刚把农奴放出来了吗 Did you actually just free the serfs?
没错 I did.
之前你都不跟我们商量吗 You didn't want to discuss it first?
这是显而易见的事 所以我就做了 It was clear what to do, so I did it.
贵族们会把你撕成碎片的 The nobles will tear you to shreds.
先生们 Gentlemen!
还是适应一下未来吧 因为它就在眼前 Get used to the future because it's coming.
撒谎的德国妹子 Lying German bitch!
哦 Oh!
他们为什么要丢鞋子呢 Why are they throwing shoes?
因为他们恨你 我拿了他们的枪 Because they hate you, and I took their guns.
你会跪下 You will fall to your knees,
为你改变俄国的失败痛哭流涕 broken by your failure to change Russia.
我会把你从地上扶起来 我们撕扯着彼此的衣服 I will lift you from the ground and we will rip at each other's clothes
就像马上就到世界末日一般 而我们迫不及待的要在那之前爱抚彼此 like time itself is about to end and we cannot get to each other before it does.
哦 Oh...
做女人的乐趣在于 The joy of being a woman
知道我们可以打败男人 is knowing we can outplay a man.
我不动手你们都不能动 No one does anything till I make a move.
-这太危险了 -我生来就喜欢冒险 - It's dangerous. - I was born to do dangerous things.
-为什么大家都在哭呢 -所有人都去死吧 - Why is everybody crying? - Everyone fucking dies now!
欢迎来到俄国 Welcome to Russia!
-这里从不枯燥无聊 -万岁 - It's never dull here. - Huzzah.
-万岁 -万 岁 - Huzzah! - Huzz... ah.
我赢了 Well, beat you to it.