我给你们发了63个不错的人选 I sent you 63 good people.
你们必须得选 You have to choose.
他们必须满足我们严格的标准 They have to meet our rigorous standards.
看看我们已经聘用了的那三个人 I mean, look at the three we've already hired.
仙人下凡 Stallions.
《硅谷》前情回顾
互利代表未来 而你们的未来是... Hooli is the future, and your future is...
盒子二 你们有什么问题吗 The Box 2. Are there any questions?
你在这里做的一切都会变成老掉牙 Everything you're doing here is antiquated.
操你妈的 都给我滚出去 Fuck you guys. Get out of here.
我明白你想要收购一家公司叫做萨价网 You wish to acquire a company called Sliceline?
我会接管所有的工程师团队 大概五十人 I will be taking on a total engineering team of about 50.
什... Wha--
别告诉任何人 好吗 Don't tell anyone, okay?
我的特斯拉终于到了 My Tesla finally came.
你这是理智消费吗 Was that a wise purchase?
鉴于理查德刚刚 Considering Richard just
花了魔笛手剩余资金雇了那些码农 obliterated Pied Piper's runway hiring all those coders?
我一个月前订的 I ordered it a month ago.
但这还是一项投资 But still, it's an investment.
据我所知 As I understand,
汽车只要一从 cars depreciate 10 percent
卡车上运下来 就会贬值百分之十 as soon as they fall off the truck.
就像这样 Like that.
所以如果买车花了一百美元 So if the car costs $100,
你刚就损失了十美元 well you just lost $10.
这车花了你一百美元吗 Did it cost $100?
还是更多 Or more?
这和钱无关 It's not about the money.
我的朋友 我现在 I, my friend, am now part
投身绿色革命了 of the green revolution.
是吗 Are you?
大部分电力还是来自 Most electricity still comes from
天然气和火力发电厂 gas plants and coal-burning smoke stacks.
你知道你的电力发自哪里吗 Do you know where your electricity comes from?
不知道 No.
看看多闪啊 Look how shiny it is.
再说了 这还有前背箱 Plus, it has a frunk--
前置的后备箱 a front trunk.
来 上车 让我送你去上班 Here, hop in, let me give you a ride to work.
迪尼希 Dinesh,
你喜欢这个吗 you like this?
我的天皇老爷 Jesus fucking Christ!
那是头死猪吗 Is that a dead pig?
没错 就像埃利希 Yes. It's just like Errich.
我腐败的叔叔 My corrupt uncle
从中国寄来了 sent a death certificate
死亡证明 from China
但是运送尸体太贵了 but to send body is too expensive.
所以... So...
我只能火化一头猪 I cremate a pig
因为猪最像一个胖子 because a pig is most like a fat human.
我得去上班了 I gotta get to work.
迪尼希 Dinesh...
你能把这头猪搬到后院吗 can you take pig to backyard?
我得烧掉 I need to burn it.
不行 No.
真奇怪 That's odd.
你明明比我先走的 You left before me.
我怎么比你先找到车位呢 How was I able to park before you?
我猜五十名新员工 I guess all 50 of the new employees
都想在那个傻逼全体会议上 decided to show up bright and early
提前闪亮登场 for the fucking all-hands meeting.
我只能去五楼停车 I had to park on level five.
看来和你不一样 Huh! So unlike you,
这个世界明白 the world understands
我在拯救这个星球 that I'm saving the planet
所以奖励了我一个 and has rewarded me with...
超好的停车位 primo spot.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
你终于在残障车位中 You've finally taken your rightful spot
找到了你该停的位置 amongst the handicapped.
硅谷 第五季第二集
断了吗 Is it broken?
不 我应该没事 Uh, no. I think I'm okay.
我有一个问题 出什么事了 One question, what the fuck happened?
因为...你本来还在整个公司面前 'Cause... you were doing your speech
发表你的讲话 right there in front of the whole company,
然后... and then...
我的讲话很糟糕 Uh, my speech was going poorly.
-同意 -没错 - Agreed. - Yeah.
我开始慌张 And I started to panic.
很合理 With good reason.
然后... And then...
突然间 我... all of a sudden, I...
我以为我要拉裤子了 好吗 I thought I had to shit my pants, okay?
所以你跳了起来 And that's why you jumped
用脸撞向玻璃墙吗 face first into a glass wall?
不 一切都发生得太快了 No, it all happened so fast,
但...其实 我以为 but... essentially, I thought,
如果我马上要拉出来了 我不想站着 if it was gonna happen, I didn't want to be standing.
所以我蹲了下来 因为... So, I crouched, because...
如果要拉裤子 If you wanna shit yourself,
最好还是蹲着 而不是站着 you'd rather be crouching than standing?
是的 我是说 如果不得不拉的话 Yes. I mean, if you had to.
我也不想这么说 但我懂你 I hate to say this, but I follow you.
然而我蹲下后 我就开始打嗝 The thing is, when I crouched, I had to burp.
但因为我完全...挤着我的胃 But since I was all, you know, tucked up,
结果我吐了一点 I actually vomited a little.
然后 我的战斗或逃跑反应出现了 And then, that's when my fight-or-flight reflex kicked in.
你战斗过吗 Do you ever fight?
好吧 我的或逃跑反应出现了 我就 Okay, fine, then my "Or flight" Reflex kicked in and I just...
我们只看到一个油腻的人 Okay. Well, what we saw was a very oily man
话说到一半突然蹲下 in mid-sentence dip down,
呕吐 然后猛然用脸 vomit, and then thrust himself violently
撞进一扇玻璃墙 face first into a glass wall.
但我猜这个场景不像你理解的 But I guess it's a lot less embarrassing
那么难堪 the way you explain it.
理查德 那... Richard, what about...
你有没有拉在裤子里 Did you evacuate in your pants?
没有 好消息 Oh, no, uh, good news.
我猜是我撞到玻璃上的时候 I think what happened when I hit the glass,
吓到了我自己 I sort of shocked myself.
现在我不想拉了 Now, I don't have to.
这还有点令人失望 That's actually kind of disappointing,
因为不算有个完整的大结局 because, like, no closure.
往好处想 现在可比给你洗干净屁股 Well, on the bright side, it'll be that much easier
再回来继续面对大家更方便些 to get you cleaned up and back out there.
-什么 -我安排你再进行三天就职培训 - What? - I have you scheduled for three more days of orientation.
不可能 取消掉 No way. Cancel them.
我不可能再回去 There's no way I'm going back out there.
特别是他们看到了这一幕 Especially after knowing what they saw.
不 去他的 而且我太忙了 所以 No, fuck it. Plus, I'm-- I'm way too busy, so.
先生们 可以让我们单独谈谈吗 Gentlemen, could we have the room please?
我们能回家了吗 棒呆 So we can leave? Sweet.
理查德 看看外面 Richard, look out there.
穿爆绘文字和萨价网T恤的人左右分开 There's Optimoji and Sliceline t-shirts left and right.
这些被征服的战士们还穿着旧制服 These are conquered soldiers still in their old uniforms.
但我们需要这儿的每个人都成为魔笛手 But we need everyone here to be Pied Pipers.
我是说 你希望他们 I mean, you're asking them
把青春年华用来实现你的愿景 to spend the primes of their lives on your vision.
对吧 你需要出去领导他们 Right? And you need to go out there and lead them.
他们渴望着被鼓舞 They're-- they're yearning for inspiration.
我鼓舞不了人心 I can't do inspiration.
我是个程序员 I'm a coder.
看看那边 新互联网 Look there, the new Internet.
那就是鼓舞 利用那个 That's inspiration. Use that.
理查德 这只是个创意 Richard, this is all an idea.
人们不想追随一个创意 And people don't wanna follow an idea,
他们想追随一位领袖 they wanna follow a leader.
看看上一个创造新互联网的人 Look at the last guy to create a new Internet.
阿尔·戈尔 Al Gore.
他的创意很出色 His ideas were excellent,
但他说话就像是个有猝睡症的种植园主 but he talked like a narcoleptic plantation owner,
所以他在总统选举中败给了一个假牛仔 so he lost the presidency to a fake cowboy
现在在制作灾难色情片 and now he makes apocalypse porn.
重点是你需要富有激情地带领大家 Look, the point is, you need to lead with passion.
当你下定决心时 When you set your mind to it,
你是我认识的最有魅力的人之一 you're one of the most charismatic people I've ever met.
我可见过艾拉·格拉斯[电台节目制作人] And I have met Ira Glass.
我知道这三天我们会很忙碌 I know it's three days we could be working,
但从根本上统一化的团队最终会节省时间 but ultimately, a unified team will save us time in the end.
你想要节省时间 You wanna save time?
如果你想要节省时间 你这么做 If you wanna save time, here's what you do.
你自己说过 爆绘文字的人 You said it yourself, okay, the Optimoji guys
和萨价网的人是分开的 and the Sliceline guys are separate,
他们有各自的历史 with their own separate histories,
有各自的编程陋习 their own separate shorthands,
那我们就利用这一点 so let's use that.
让我们把调度程序分配给爆绘文字的人 Let's give the scheduler to the Optimoji guys,
把无服务器运行分配给萨价网的人 and the server-less runtime to the Sliceline guys.
然后我们有迪尼希和吉尔弗约尔 Then we have Dinesh and Gilfoyle
还有仙人们 他们负责整合 and the Stallions, they do the integration.
我们就可以运行了 怎么样 Boom, we're off and running. How about that?
这样没人憋不住屎 忍不住打嗝或是要吐 That way, no one has to shit or burp or puke
或者在所有人面前把鼻子撞流血 or get a nosebleed in front of anyone.
至于前脸设计 我们年轻的艺术家 当 As for the bezel design, our young aesthete, Dang,
再一次点石成金 has once again spun gold.
我们看看吧 Let's see it.
等等 我的签名不在上面 Wait, my signature's not on it?
盖文·贝尔森的招牌产品盒子三怎么能 How could it be the Gavin Belson Signature Box III
没有盖文·贝尔森的签名在上面 without Gavin Belson's signature on it?
"招牌"这个词有手写的感觉 Well, the word "Signature" has a handwritten feel to it.
为什么我的签名没在这上面 Why is my signature not on this?
盖文 你的签名有点小问题 Gavin, there was a slight issue with your signature.
什么问题 What issue?
你做了模型吗 给我们看看 Do you have a mock-up? Pull it up.
对 这不挺好 Ah, yes! There.
能有什么问题 What's wrong with that?
我们的测试组对这个的反应有好有坏 Well, reactions to this from our testing groups were mixed,
所以我们联系了一名笔迹专家 so we contacted a handwriting expert.
那个 And, uh, well...
珍 你带了报告吗 Jean, do you have the report?
当然 Absolutely.
很高兴加入你的团队 盖文 这么写的 Pleasure to be on your team, Gavin. Here it is.
"这个签名展示了令人不安的特征 "The signature displayed troubling traits.
向左上方倾斜 Left of upright slant,
很小的倾角 紧绷的笔画 narrow angles, tense strokes,
-很明显地显示出反社会倾向" -什么 - conclusively indicative of sociopathic tendencies." - What?
总结来说"无法共情 需要占据支配地位 Characterized by "A lack of empathy and need to dominate,
为达个人目的不择手段 a willingness to hurt others to achieve one's goals.
无力接受坏消息" Inability to accept bad news--"
-胡佛 -先生 - Hoover? - Sir?
立即把这个恶心的女人赶出我的办公室 Get this horrible woman the fuck out of my office, now.
那他妈是什么 What the fuck is that?
这是我能找到的最便宜的 It's the cheapest thing I could find
可以归类为电动车的东西 that qualified as an electric vehicle.
我在分类广告网上找到的 I found it on Craigslist.
现在你得停到五层去了 Now you get to park on the fifth floor.
旅途愉快 Enjoy the drive.
你说得对 Oh, and you were right...
参与环保革命的确感觉很好 it does feel good to be a part of the green revolution.
是吗 你那"车"有"疯狂模式"吗 Oh, yeah? Well, does that "Vehicle" have "Insane Mode"?
只要按一下按钮 One press of a button
我就能在3.2秒内从零加速到近一百公里每 and I go zero to 60 in 3.2...
今天真忙 What a day.
看看 我们现在本该还在收尾入职培训 See, we'd still be finishing up orientation,
唱《到这里来吧》 做着信任倒 singing Kumbayas and doing trust falls.
但是相反 But instead,
我们的爆绘文字组和萨价网组 both our Optimoji and Sliceline teams
都已经进行完第一次代码审查了 have gone through their first code review.
说句公道话 我根本没打算安排信任倒 Well, to be fair, I never would've scheduled trust falls.
我是说 你只要做一次肾上腺素就会狂飙 I mean, you do one of those, you're so jacked up on adrenaline,
这一天剩下的时间基本上就废了 the rest of the day is basically shot.
我们本来要做非竞技性的才艺秀 没人会输 We were gonna have a noncompetitive talent show with no losers.
不可能 Not possible.
混球 我刚来 检查了提交的代码 Dick, I just got in and checked the commits.
你知道萨价网的 Are you aware that the Sliceline guys
在用纳秒编码时间 跟我们通常的做法一样 have been encoding time in nanoseconds, as we usually do,
但爆绘文字的在用毫秒 but the Optimoji guys have been using milliseconds?
什么 What?
我们到现在还在叫他们 Just the fact that we're still calling them
萨价网的和爆绘文字的 Sliceline guys and Optimoji guys
这可不是什么好预兆 is sending up all sorts of red flags.
更不用提只管他们叫"什么什么的" And I don't even mean the word "Guys,"
我刚知道这是个微歧视的说法 which I just learned is a micro-aggression.
没关系 "魔笛手的" It's fine, "Guys."
我会让他们重构代码的 I will get them to re-factor their code.
我们进度还是超前的 We're still ahead of where we'd be
要不我们现在还在做什么才艺秀 if we were doing some kind of talent show.
理查德 吉尔弗约尔把他那坨电动垃圾 Richard? Gilfoyle parked his electric pile of trash
停在了我的特斯拉车位上 in my Tesla's spot.
你觉得公平吗 Do you think that's fair?
现在没空 迪尼希 Not now, Dinesh.
为什么你们不换到毫秒 Why can't you guys switch to milliseconds?
为什么我们必须改 Why do we have to change?
抱歉 我们整个代码基础是用纳秒的 Sorry, well, our entire code base uses nanoseconds.
你觉着这根本不重要所以没想着告诉我们吗 And you didn't think it was important to tell us this?
不 我是说 那是 No, well, I mean, it was--
那本来是安排的新人培训的一部分 it was part of the orientation that was scheduled,
那培训不得不 which had to be,
由于各种原因 取消了 for numerous reasons, uh, canceled.
我很抱歉 我知道这很让人不爽 And I'm sorry about that, I know it sucks.
如果我能让你开心点 我会的 但... If I could make it suck less, I would, but--
你可以给我们弄点像样的咖啡 You could get some decent coffee in here.
什么 现在的有什么问题吗 What? What's wrong with...
菲尔兹咖啡 这可是高级货 哥们 Philz Coffee? That's high-end joe, bro.
在我们爆绘文字 每天都有树墩城咖啡喝 At Optimoji, we had Stumptown brought in every day.
这样就能激励你们工作 不同的咖啡 So that would inspire you? Different coffee?
激励我们 Inspire us?
就这么着吧 You know what? Bup, bup, bup!
就树墩城咖啡了 没问题 Stumptown it is. You got it.
那你跟你的人说纳秒的事 And you'll tell your guys about the nanoseconds?
当然 除非你想 Yeah. Unless you wanna
在所有人面前亲自宣布 get up in front of everyone and announce it yourself.
不 不 不 还是你来比较好 No, no, no, I'd rather you--
我开玩笑的 That was a joke.
你的讲话简直是灾难 Your speech was a disaster.
是啊 Oh. Yeah.
你知道的 没错 You know. Yeah.
真的很糟糕 It was really bad.
我知道 I know.
市政厅
好的 建先生 你向本庭申请 Okay, Mr. Jian, you have petitioned this court
成为埃利希·巴赫曼遗产的 to become the sole executor
唯一执行人 对吗 of the estate of Erlich Bachman, is that correct?
是的 Yes.
我看到你准备了所有的文件 I see you've got all the paperwork, here.
是的 埃利希·巴赫曼死了 Yes. Errich Bachman is dead.
建先生 你完全没有必要 Mr. Jian, there's absolutely no need
在这里展示死者的遗骸 to display the deceased remains.
你可以把它拿走了 You can put that away.
-我有遗骸 -是的 - I have it. - Yes.
请把它拿下去 Please put it down.
埃利希·巴赫曼已经 Errich Bachman is cremated...
被火化了 into ashes.
我把骨灰装进了这个桶里 And I put it in bucket.
把它拿下去 先生 Put it down, sir.
你是否有足够的理由相信 Now, have you determined to a reasonable degree of certainty
巴赫曼先生没有在世的直系亲属了吗 that Mr. Bachman has no living next of kin?
没有妻子 子女 或父母 No wife, children, parents,
或是兄弟姐妹 no brothers, sisters,
或是侄女 侄子 祖父母 nieces, nephews, grandparents,
已逝配偶的子女 children from a predeceased spouse
或者同居伴侣的子女 or domestic partnership?
没有 No.
他孤独终老 He died alone.
他是个非常可悲的人 He's a very sad man.
所以 我拥有 So, I have a...
一栋房子和'魔笛手'10%的股份 a house and a 10% Pied Piper.
既然没有任何直系亲属 In the absence of any next of kin,
我将批准你为巴赫曼先生遗产的 I will approve you as the sole beneficiary
唯一继承人和正式执行人 and the official executor of Mr. Bachman's estate.
但是 在你正式自由支配 But, before you can distribute any of his assets
他的任何资产之前 into your personal possession,
你必须将这些遗产的所有欠款付清 you are required to settle all claims against the estate.
你明白吗 Do you understand?
我得到一栋房子和'魔笛手'10%的股份吗 So I get a house and a 10% Pied Piper?
你得付清他的所有未偿债务 You need to pay all of his outstanding bills.
我得付多少 How much do I have to pay?
这些债务有时可能数额惊人 Well, these debts can sometimes be substantial.
你认为巴赫曼先生 Would you characterize Mr. Bachman
是一个对财务负责的人吗 as a financially responsible man?
萨价网的朋友 你们好 Hey, Sliceline guys, what's up? Heh.
那个... So...
我想跟你们说点事 wanted to talk to you guys about something.
过去的几天里 Past couple days,
爆绘文字的人真的表现很突出 the Optimoji guys have really stepped up their game,
但是 你们... but, um, you guys...
感觉有点浑水摸鱼 have kind of been flagging.
我只是想知道是不是一切都好 I'm just wondering if everything's all right.
是的 一切都很好 Yeah. Great.
谢谢你让我们明白自己现在的处境 Just nice to know where we stand.
什么 我们明白 Sorry? We get it.
你收购萨价网只是因为你想要爆绘文字 You only acquired Sliceline because you wanted Optimoji.
什么 What?
才不是 No, wrong.
你为什么这么说 Uh, why would you say that?
不是我说的 是你 I didn't. You did,
当你选了他们的咖啡而不是我们的 when you chose their coffee over ours.
我们不能把萨萨带到这里已经够糟了 It's bad enough we can't have Slice here.
萨萨 Slice?
那种饮料 The beverage?
不 萨萨是我们的吉祥物 No, no. Slice was our mascot.
它非常聪明 He's really smart.
好吧 Okay, well...
把那个小家伙带来吧 Bring the little guy in.
那无狗政策怎么办 What about the no dog policy?
什么无狗政策 What no dog policy, huh?
真的吗 你不用跟爆绘文字的确认一下 Really? Are you sure you don't need to check with Optimoji?
我非常肯定 但... I'm pretty sure, but, uh...
丹尼 超级丹 Danny? Dan man?
我只是想知道 Uh, I just was wondering
如果萨价网的人把他们的狗带来 if you're cool if the Sliceline guys
-你们有没有意见 -它非常聪明 - brought in their dog. - He's really smart.
我们爆绘文字是有无狗政策的 Well at Optimoji, we had a no dog policy.
拜托 别这么不通人情 Come on. Don't be such a dork.
就让他们带来吧 一只狗而已 Let 'em have it. It's just a dog.
好吧 行 Sure. Fine.
你是CEO你说了算 You're the CEO.
没错 Yes, I am.
好的 All right.
从现在起 And from this point on,
CEO就代表狗生代言者... CEO stands for Canine Endorsement...
棒 Oh... yeah.
好吧 All right.
看看你和你的公路自行车 Hey, look at you and your 10-speed.
你起得早就因为你以为能抢我的车位吗 Aw, you got up early 'cause you thought you could take my space.
你真可爱 That's cute.
简直跟你的自行车一样可爱 Almost as cute as your bike.
是啊 看来这就是辆自行车啊 Yeah, I guess this is a bike, isn't it?
那我就可以使用自行车道 So I get to use the bike lane.
回头见 See you later.
不 自行车也得遵守交通规则 No, bikes still have to follow traffic laws!
这不公平 That's not fair!
好吧 你想疯一把吗 All right. You wanna get insane?
那咱们就疯一把 Let's get insane.
操你大爷的 吉尔弗约尔 Fuck you, Gilfoyle!
你的前备箱怎么了 Something's wrong with your frunk.
被操成前辈了吗 It's all frucked up.
开特斯拉那个 Hey, Tesla!
你知道魔笛手公司在哪吗 You know where Pied Piper is?
就在这边 几位 Right here, guys.
搞什么鬼 What the fuck?
你个混蛋 Dick?
-解释一下 -好吧 那个... - Explain. - Okay, uh...
以前爆绘文字有无狗政策 So, Optimoji had a no dog policy
很显然是因为他们每个人 and apparently that's because every single one of 'em
都他妈养了一条狗 have a fucking dog.
在我们废除了我们的无狗政策后... And when we waived our no dog policy...
你废除了我们的无狗政策吗 You waived our no dog policy?
我让贾里德定这个规矩是有原因的 理查德 I had Jared put that in there for a reason, Richard!
在巴基斯坦 狗不是宠物你知道吗 In Pakistan, dogs are not pets, okay?
狗是邪恶的野兽 They're vicious beasts
会追着你满街跑 and they chase you down the street
然后还咬人 and they bite you.
我表弟埃夫塔哈就被咬掉了一只耳朵 My cousin Eftahar lost an ear.
我们的市长腐败透了 Our mayor was very corrupt.
但他在鸡肉里放毒药片 But he put poison pills in chicken meat
解决了恶狗问题 to take care of the dog problem.
我们就敬他为英雄 We hailed him as a hero.
城里到处都建了他的雕像 We put up statues of him everywhere.
他会没事的 He's gonna be okay.
谁会没事啊 Who's gonna be okay?
怎么回事 天仙倒下了一个 What? Stallion down?
他对狗严重过敏 He's violently allergic to dogs.
又一个该严格执行无狗政策的原因 It's another reason for our iron-clad no dog policy.
贾里德 你打算什么时候告诉我这些事 Jared, when were you planning on telling me all of this?
入职培训的第二天 Day two of orientation.
就在有关安全空间的你做我猜游戏之后 Right after safe space charades.
我们肯定会给你报销全部医药费的 So look, we'll pay for your entire medical bill, obviously.
所以别担心 So, you're good.
你连他的自费部分也报销吗 You're covering his deductible?
那我们的你也得报吧 Then you have to cover ours, right?
那狗的医药费呢 他们也是人啊 And what about the dogs? They're people, too.
它们真的不算人 They're literally not.
它们是狗 They're dogs!
受住立场 Hold strong.
我操 Fuck you!
那么... Oh. So...
贾里德 你让我把两支队伍团结起来 Jared, uh, you wanted me to unite the teams
我做到了 and I have.
他们团结起来 来对付我了 They are united against me.
显然连狗都一起针对你了 Even the dogs, apparently.
真希望它们跟你一样能憋屎 I wish they had your fecal fortitude.
帮我个忙 Hey, do me a favor and...
把这些狗都弄走吧 just take care of all the dogs.
然后召集一次全员会议 And then call an all-hands.
看来我不得不说几句话了 I've clearly gotta say words.
好吧 Ooh, okay.
真不想再站到台上来 Really didn't wanna be back up here, again.
我想大家都知道为什么吧 And I think we all remember why, you know?
不过你们估计不知道 我可是差点... But you probably don't know this, but I almost sh--
不用告诉他们这个 They don't need to...
放屁了 好吧 Farted. Yeah.
这好丢人 Which would be embarrassing.
话说回来 那个... Anyway, look, uh...
我知道我... I know I...
应该激励你们工作 给你们奋斗的动力 should be the inspiration for you guys,
但说实话 我其实不是这样的人 but to be honest, that's not really who I am.
而且要是这个公司 And if this company lives or dies
凭我几句漂亮话就能定生死 by all the flowery things I say,
那说实话 我们就完蛋了 well then, to be honest, we're fucked. Ha.
有人说 They say that...
人并不会追随创意 people don't follow ideas.
但我觉得现如今 那正是你们该做的 But I think in this case, you guys should.
因为 Because...
构建一个全新互联网的创意 the idea of creating a new Internet,
非常特别 that's special.
好吗 而且我们被赋予了这样一个机会 Right? And we've been given the opportunity
来改写 to rewrite...
人类历史上最重要的的东西 the most important thing in human history.
我们能将它 And we can build it
构建成它本该有的样子 the way it should've been made all along.
而不是现在这种垃圾 令人上瘾的寄生虫 You know, not this shitty, addictive parasite
被互利这种公司用来监视我们 that companies like Hooli use to spy on us
剥削我们 and exploit us.
是吧 Okay?
就这个 这就是你们的动力 There. That's your inspiration.
不是我 Not me.
不是咖啡 也不是狗 所以 Not coffee. Not dogs. So...
要是我对你们来说不够鼓舞人心 if I'm not inspirational enough for you,
要是你们不想在这儿工作 and if you don't wanna be here,
那么你们随时可以走人 well, then, there's the door.
我们会给你们足够的离职补偿金 And we'll give you enough severance
足以支持你到找到下一份工作 to cover you to your next job.
但要是你们想留下来创建这个传奇 But if you wanna stick around and build this thing,
那我们还有工作要做 then we've got work to do.
干得漂亮 Great job.
情况怎么样 我听到脚步声了 So what's going on? I hear footsteps.
他们是坐回去了 还是... Are-- are people sitting back down, or...?
那个 他们在收拾背包 Okay, they're picking up their bags.
可能是好事 That could be good.
好吧 所以他们是要走还是... Okay. So, what, they're leaving, or...?
有几个走了 A few are.
好吧 几个是多少个 Okay, what's a few?
走的不止几个了 It's more than a few.
什么意思 不止几个是几个 五个吗 What's that mean? Like, what's more than a few, five?
两位数吗 Double digits?
要数留下了几个可能更容易一点 It might be easier to say how many are staying.
有... It's, uh...
有两个 It's two.
什么 What?
好吧 Okay.
理查德 你...你打算怎么做 So, uh, Richard, what-- what do you wanna do here?
你说什么呢 我正在做啊 What are you talking about? I'm doing it.
-什么意思 -我是程序员 贾里德 - Sorry? - I'm a coder, Jared.
所以我要开始写程序了 So I'm gonna code.
要是我不得不独自建立我的整个新网络 And if I have to build my entire new fucking internet by myself,
那就我自己来 所以 I'll do that, so...
天哪 Oh, dear.
我喜欢 I like it.
真是太前卫了 It's just so edgy.
班斯基是位很前卫的艺术家 Banksy is a very edgy artist.
最前卫的 The edgiest.
这是什么 What is this?
班斯基坚持在他的作品上要有他的签名 Banksy is insisting his signature be on his work.
这本应该代表我的签名 This is supposed to be my signature.
怎么会有带签名的签名这种东西 On what planet does a signature have a signature on it?
恐怕他对此是不会妥协的 I'm afraid it's non-negotiable.
这自大狂胆子真大 The fucking balls on this egomaniac.
我看啊 去他的班斯基 You know what? Fuck Banksy.
我们这个园区里可是聚集了 We're on a campus full of literally thousands
世界上成千上万最有创意的头脑 of the greatest creative minds in the world.
让我们的员工 Let's just crowd source it
集思广益 搞一个比赛 with our employees. We'll make it a contest.
让人人都觉得参与其中 People will feel empowered and part of the team.
而且什么也不用花费 And it won't cost us shit.
你看 这才是一个仁慈的领导者该做的事 You see? This is what a benevolent leader does.
就这么办 Make it happen.
先生 方便说句话吗 Sir, is this a good time?
没问题 我刚解雇了班斯基 It's a great time. I just fired Banksy.
班斯基 那个破坏狂 Banksy, the vandal?
[班斯基是涂鸦艺术家 有观点认为在他人或公共财产上涂鸦是一种破坏行为]
就是他 你有什么消息 The very one. Now, what do you have for me?
好消息 Good news.
我听说魔笛手要完蛋了 I'm hearing that Pied Piper is in a free-fall.
-听谁说的 -为了不牵连你我只能说 - From whom? - All I can say without implicating you
我制定了一个行动 is that I've instituted an operation
保障我们的利益 to safeguard our interests.
我把它叫做"沃什伯恩计划" I'm calling it "Project Washburn."
我打算 What I'm planning to--
胡佛 你要牵连到我了 Hoover, you're implicating me.
我们把理查德丢那一个人工作是不是过分了 Are we bad people for leaving Richard there to work by himself?
我们已经连续写了48小时代码 We've been coding for 48 hours straight.
我可不管什么道义伦理了 I could give a shit about deontological ethics.
杨 Yang.
最好别再有个中国人睡在我床上 There better not be a Chinaman in my bed.
这是种族歧视 That is racist.
没错 Yes.
我就是种族歧视者 I am racist.
傻逼埃利希 Stupid Errich.
欠了一大笔房贷 Big mortgage.
七张信用卡 Seven credit cards.
都没有积攒里程 Not even one with miles.
失败到家了 Fucking loser.
为得到他的房子做这些一点都不值得 It almost not worth to take his house from him.
死胖子 Fat fuck.
说到这些恐怖的账单 Speaking of crazy bills,
你知道我要花多少钱修我的特斯拉吗 you know how much it's going to cost to fix my Tesla?
一万七千美元 $17,000.
我怎么付得起 I can't afford to pay that.
但我不付也受不了 But I can't afford not to pay it.
如果我不修我的特斯拉 If I don't fix my Tesla,
吉尔弗约尔就赢了 Gilfoyle wins.
我就真的只能甘拜下风了 And I need to really shove it up his ass.
等等 Wait.
难道我真的恨他恨到 Do I really hate someone so much
战胜他比钱更重要吗 that defeating them is worth more than money?
我真的变成这样了吗 Is that really what I've become?
看来是的 Yeah, it is.
我要付这笔钱 I'm gonna pay it.
谢谢 杨建 Thanks, Jian-Yang.
我也要付 I'll pay, too.
去你的 埃利希 Fuck you, Errich.
你不能就这么把你的自行汽车 You can't just leave your bike-car
停在我特斯拉的位置上然后打车回家 in my Tesla's spot and Uber home.
这不公平 吉尔弗约尔 That's not fair, Gilfoyle.
你看起来还没搞明白 Mmm, you don't seem to understand.
现在那是我的车位 It's my spot now.
他们回来做什么 What are they doing back?
你们去哪了 Hey. Where have you been?
回家睡觉 Sleeping.
什么 一整晚 What? All night?
我们以为你们随后也回家了 怎么回事 We assumed you guys were right behind us. What's happening?
转机 Something.
事情有了转机 Something is happening.
你们走的时候 我觉得他已经神志不清了 When you left, I thought he was fried.
他的肩膀一直紧绷着 Okay? Because his shoulders were all tight,
听不到别人叫他的名字 and he wouldn't answer to his name,
眼睛逐渐呆滞 and his eyes went dead,
像我告诉他我爱他时一样 like when I tell him I love him.
但是之后 他开始发力 But then, he just got stronger
逐渐加快速度 and he started picking up speed,
我就给几个萨价网的人发了信息 so I texted a few of the Sliceline guys
然后他们又给一些爆绘文字的人发信息 and then they texted some of the Optimoji guys,
他们都想来见证这一切 and they all wanted to see it.
理查德已经完成了调度程序 Richard has finished the scheduler
马上就可以跟无服务器运行 and is almost ready to merge
进行整合了 看看看 the server-less runtime. Look, look!
他完成了所有那些任务 He implemented all those tasks?
一个人 By himself?
这可是整个团队四天的工作量 That was supposed to take the whole team four days.
太惊人了 我觉得 It's amazing. I mean, I feel--
我就像见证了耶稣复活的抹大拉的马利亚 I feel like Mary Magdalene on resurrection day.
这还不是最棒的地方 And that's not the greatest miracle of all.
看 看看这些程序员 Look. Look at the coders.
他们都穿着魔笛手的帽衫 They're all wearing Pied Piper hoodies.
他又提交代码了 He pushed another commit.
搞什么 What the fuck?
完美无瑕 对不对 Flawless. Right?
看完所有代码还得花点时间 Um, it takes a while to read a whole commit.
每次提交之后他们都在叫好 They've been cheering after every commit.
其实并没有 但是 I mean, they haven't, but it's--
感觉棒极了 it's great.
我以为我要拉裤子了 I thought I had to shit my pants.
所以我蹲了下来 So, I crouched.
结果却吐了出来 I actually vomited.
根据战斗或逃跑条件反射 我就 Fight-or-flight reflex kicked in and I just...
理查德 Richard!
理查德 Richard?
你好啊 小伙子 Hey, buddy boy.
终于醒了 Oh, there he is.
怎么 怎么回事 What's-- what's going on?
你要保持冷静 好吗 Don't flip out, okay?
你已经昏迷整整四年了 But you have been in a coma for four years.
什么 What?
是真的 That's correct.
我其实是个机器人 In fact, I'm a robot.
真正的克劳福德医生已经在 The real Dr. Crawford died heroically
2020年的水仗中壮烈牺牲了 in the water wars of 2020.
开玩笑的 理查德 Jokes, Richard!
我逗你玩呢 I'm just joking around.
怎么 你把你的幽默感卖钱了吗 What, did you sell your sense of humor?
你只昏迷了大概六个小时而已 You've just been out for about six hours.
你根本都没失去意识 只是在睡觉而已 You were not even unconscious, really just asleep.
但你确实失血相当得多 But you did lose a whole lot of blood.
希望他们给你输对血型了 I just hope they put the right kind back in.
等下 你还在开玩笑吗 Wait, are you still riffing?
我说不好 I don't know.
理查德 坏消息是 Richard, here's the bad news,
主要是你的胳膊和身体 your arms and your torso
撞上了玻璃 took the brunt of the glass.
如果你的脸撞破了 If you'd cut your face up some,
我们就能让保险公司赔付一整套脸部重塑 we could've gotten insurance to pay for a whole remodel.
就 你知道 Gotta, you know...
给你那完全看不入眼的大鼻子修修型 give the old schnozzle a much-needed trim,
你懂我的意思 you know what I'm talking about.
你肯定和其他人一样都忍不下去了吧 You gotta hate it as much as everybody else.
所以到底怎么回事 你是 So what happened? What were you,
脑子进水了在你办公室里 trying to ride one of those Boverboards
玩悬滑板了吗 around your office like a nincompoop?
没有 Um, no.
我猜我只是太专注于工作了 I-- I guess I just got a little lost in the work.
好了 坐进来吧 弗兰肯斯坦 All right. Hop in, Frankenstein.
是时候出院了 Let's get you out of here.
我猜你想说的是 I think what you're trying to say is
弗兰肯斯坦的怪物 Frankenstein's monster.
什么 What?
我猜你本想说我是弗兰肯斯坦的怪物 I think you mean to call me Frankenstein's monster
因为弗兰肯斯坦其实是 'cause Frankenstein is the--
看来你也是那种人 Oh, you're one of those guys, huh?
不 只是 弗兰肯斯坦是那科学家的名字 No, I'm just-- the doctor's name is Frankenstein--
我知道 你非要更正真是挺烦人的 I know. It's just an annoying thing to point out.
你要想大家喜欢你 If you want people to like you,
就默默听着然后跟着一起笑就行了 just go along with what they say and have fun.
怎么回事 What?
理查德 Richard!
你该打电话告诉我 我会去接你 You should've called. I would've picked you up.
大家在这干什么呢 What's everybody doing here?
这他妈看起来像什么 The fuck does it look like?
我们在工作 We're working.
看看他们大家 理查德 Look at 'em all, Richard.
我是说 三天的入职培训 I mean, sure, a three-day orientation
可能会一样有效 你还不会受伤 might've been just as effective and less bloody,
但那不是真正的你 but it wasn't you.
你找到了自己独有的方式 But you found your own way
让这些男人女人们 这些魔笛手追随你 to get these men and women, these Pipers, to follow you.
你看着这些人说 You looked at these people and you said,
"我可能不是个激励人心的演讲家 "I may not be an inspiring speaker.
我可能很紧张 "I may be twitchy,
可能很不合群 "And I might be strange,
我可能还会上吐下泻拉裤子 "And I might vomit and I might defecate in my pants
我还可能不小心撞向整面玻璃窗 "And I might throw myself through a window.
但我坚信这家公司的理念 "But I believe in this company so much,
我努力工作 我会为此倾尽全部生命" I'll work so hard, I'll literally risk my life for it."
而那正是他们想要追随的领袖 And that is the kind of leader these people wanna follow.
因为现在他们知道没有任何事能阻挡你 Because now they know nothing is gonna stop you.
那就好 All right, then.
请转盖文·贝尔森的办公室 Gavin Belson's office, please?
我找胡佛 我是杰夫·沃什伯恩 I need to talk to Hoover. It's Jeff Washburn.
对 谢谢你 Yes, thank you.
这是第三名 一共获得了46票 This one came in third with 46 votes.
挺可爱 下一个 Cute. Next?
这是第二名 有374票 This one came in second with 374 votes.
不错 感觉很有力量 Nice, feels solid.
而以9986票高票当选的是这个 And with 9,986 votes this,
到现在为止互利最受欢迎的设计 by far, was Hooli's favorite.
我喜欢 Hmm, I like it.
很大胆 It's bold.
盖文·逼 Gavin B.
胡佛先生 有你的电话 Mr. Hoover? You have a phone call.
他说你会明白是为了什么事 He said you'd know what it was regarding.
一位叫杰夫·沃什伯恩的先生 A Mr. Jeff Washburn.
累死我了 I am so exhausted.
但我特斯拉的后排座 But the backseat of my Tesla's
超级舒适 对吧理查德 really comfy though, right, Richard?
我花的钱绝对物有所值 Definitely worth all the money I'm spending on it.
买得划算 Good purchase.
不是冲动消费 Not a mistake.
我的钥匙开不开 My key doesn't work.
我试试我的 Uh, let me try mine.
什么鬼 What the fuck?
我的也开不开 Mine doesn't work either.
杨 让开 Yang. Move.
你有什么应用的创意吗 Do you have a app idea?
没 No.
对不住 埃利希已经是过去时 Sorry. Errich is gone.
现在这是我的孵化器 This is my incubator now.
什么 What?
你们的东西都在那儿 Your things are over there.
搞什么鬼 What the fuck?
你把我们的东西就这么扔到草坪上 You just took our shit and threw it on the lawn?
吉尔弗约尔 Gilfoyle,
你个种族歧视 you are racist.
还有理查德 And Richard...
你丑爆了 you are ugly.
埃利希时代已经过去 The Errich administration is over.
-什么 -你他妈搞什么 - What? - What the fuck?
你不能就这样把我们扫地出门 杨建 You can't just kick us out, Jian-Yang.
抱歉 你们是时代浪潮的受害者 Sorry. You are victims of a circumstance.
谢谢 Thank you.
杨建 Jian-Yang.
什么鬼 What the fuck?
为什么这一片都飘着股培根的味道 Why does the whole neighborhood smell like bacon?