前情提要 Previously on...
我就要死了 死之前我要知道 I'm gonna die, and I'd like to know
我女儿身上究竟发生了什么 what happened to my daughter before I do.
在柴藤郡 有旧的仇恨 When it comes to Wisteria Lane, there are old crimes...
新的罪孽 New crimes...
天一黑就把尸体弄走 As soon as it gets dark, we get rid of that body.
有些罪恶 And crimes that are happening...
就发生在光天化日之下 Right under everyone's nose.
我觉得是艾波怀特家干的 I'm thinking it's the applewhites.
吉姆.哈文森知道 Jim halverson was aware
自己没女人缘 that he had little to offer a woman.
他既不富有也不风趣英俊 He was neither rich, nor smart, nor handsome.
你是吉姆吗?苏姗.梅尔 Are you Jim? I'm Susan Mayer.
哦 Oh.
所以当他的朋友把他介绍给 So when his friend set him up on a blind date
美丽的陌生人时 with a beautiful stranger...
你比尼基说得漂亮多了 Wow, you're so much hotter than Nikki said you'd be.
你几岁？ How old are you?
你认为呢？ How old do you think I am?
吉姆试图幽默 但犯了巨大的错误 Jim made the tragic decision to try to be funny.
肯定不超过50 Not a day over 50.
我们找个地方坐下吧 Why don't we get our table?
不 你看那很有趣 Well, no, see, that was funny,
你肯定不超过50 because you're so obviously not 50.
所以我说50那很好笑 That's why I said 50, 'cause it's absurd.
吉姆竭尽全力试图让苏姗发笑 Jim did everything he could to get Susan Mayer to laugh.
他尝试了种族歧视的笑话 He tried racial humor...
猜日本人几时去看牙医？ So guess what time Chinese people go to the dentist?
2:30 2:30.
明白?牙-疼(两者发音相似) Uh, get it? "Tooth-hurty?"
2:30 Tooth-hurty.
我喜欢这个笑话 I love that.
他尝试了更大胆的 He tried to be engagingly risqué...
直肠？几乎杀死了他 Rectum? Damn near killed him!
知道rectum(直肠)这个词的意思吧？ Uh, you know what a rectum is, right?
他也尝试了温和的 He even tried gentle teasing.
如果把你和纳粹党徒相比 No, no, you see, by comparing you to a Nazi,
我得出的结论是你不是纳粹 I was making the point that you're so not a Nazi.
喜欢... You're like the...
当吉姆认为 And just when Jim thought
这次约会不能再糟时 the date couldn't get any worse...
啊 Oh! Oh!
哦 Ow! Oh.
更糟的发生了 It did.
吉姆 我要你向上看 Okay, Jim, I need you to look up...
向下 And down.
很好 怎么撞到的？ All right, so, how did this happen?
是意外 It was an accident.
我不那么认为 Oh, I don't know about that.
在有些文化里撞头是交配前的仪式 In some cultures head-butting is a mating ritual.
是的 Yeah.
麦克格雷迪医生 能和你说句话吗? 关于我的头 Dr. Mccready, can I talk to you about my head?
不能打草稿 Away from... The draft?
叫我罗恩医生 别人都那么叫 Yeah, you can call me Dr. Ron. Everyone does.
罗恩医生 Uh, Dr. Ron...
我要你假装我的头很严重 I need you to pretend there's something wrong with me
今晚需要住院观察 什么？ and admit me for the night. I'm sorry?
他是我这辈子约会过最糟糕的男人 This is the worst date I have ever been on in my life.
那个人是世界最无聊 讨厌 无礼的男人 That man is the most obnoxious, offensive, annoying human being.
你可能觉得我就快疯了 And you're looking at me like I'm crazy right now,
如果再跟他呆上一秒钟我真的会疯 but I will be if I spend one more second with him.
请你帮帮我 做些什么 So you gotta help me. You gotta do something.
有关我的精神健康 精神健康！ It's my mental health. My mental health!
请你发誓 You took an oath.
放开我的领子好吗？ Could you let go of my lapel, please?
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
对你的糟糕约会我很抱歉 Um, listen, I'm sorry your date's not going well.
但我不能这么做 But I can't admit you, Susan.
好吧 好吧 Right. Right.
吉姆 我们检查一下反射系统 Jim, let's, uh, let's take a look at those reflexes.
好 医生我有个笑话 Okay, I got a joke for you, doctor.
给兔子做包皮环切最正确的方法是什么？ What's the correct medical term for the circumcision of a rabbit?
切 兔 Hare cut.
我不总是那么... I don't... I always...
吉姆 我得让你在这里多呆一会做些检查 Jim, I'm gonna need to keep you here for awhile,
真的吗?我... run some tests. Really? I...
是啊 我还有点担心你头上的伤 Yeah, I'm still worried about that bump on your head here. Ow!
那伤还... That's still...
苏姗 你没事可以走了 And, Susan, you're good to go.
虽然只有一瞬间 And though it only lasted a moment,
吉姆捕捉到他约会对像和医生 Jim caught the look that passed
脸上的表情 between his date... And his doctor.
非常感谢 罗恩医生 Thank you so much, Dr. Ron.
他突然明白 And he suddenly got the feeling
自己才是最大的笑话 the joke was on him.
一年一度的献血活动是柴藤郡的传统 The annual blood drive was a tradition on Wisteria Lane.
大多数居民来此是为了促进健康和生活质量 Most residents came to help promote health and well-being,
但我的朋友们有其它的理由 but my friends turned up for a different reason.
他们越来越担心 They were growing increasingly concerned
社区正被一种 that their street was infected
威险的疾病威胁 with a dangerous kind of sickness.
他们互相讨论 And they came to consult with one another
解决的方法 about a possible cure.
太好了 她发现我在看她 Oh, great, she caught me staring.
你们没注意到贝蒂变得很友好吗 Have you guys noticed how friendly Betty's been
自从尸体在她家门口被发现 since that body was found in front of her house?
我不信任友好的女人 I don't trust friendly women.
没关系 他们也不信任你 That's okay. They don't trust you, either.
我知道那两个人 I just know those two
肯定和那具尸体有关 have something to do with that dead body.
我们都不知道他是谁 Do we even know who he is?
报上说警方不肯透露细节 Well, the paper said the police are withholding the details.
布里 也许你可以打个电话 Bree, maybe you should call in a favor
给那个侦探 让他帮忙查一下 from your police detective pal, have him poke around.
这主意不错 你还能让他 That's a great idea. You could have him do
查查艾波怀特家的情况 a background check on the applewhites.
我不认为我能做得到 I don't think I can do that.
为什么?你说过他不错 Why not? You said he was nice.
他不怀疑我是杀死莱克斯的凶手 Well, once he stopped suspecting me of murdering Rex
是不错 he was delightful,
但我几乎不认识他 but, um... I don't really know him.
总得有人做些什么 Well, somebody has to do something,
我开始失眠了 'cause I'm losing sleep.
贝蒂!马修！ Betty! Matthew. Hi.
大家好 Hello, everybody.
苏姗 有人告诉我你快生日了 Susan, a little birdie told me you're having a birthday soon.
我们应该出去庆祝一下 We should all go out and celebrate.
太好了 Super.
你计划好了？ Sounds like a plan.
算我一个 Count me in.
再见 Bye.
再见 See ya.
为什么你突然变成所有人的好朋友了？ So why are you everybody's best friend all of a sudden?
如果有时候你得装得像个好邻居 If there was ever a time to be neighborly,
就是现在 this is it.
继续住在这里太蠢了 他们刚发现 We're idiots for staying here. I mean, we should've
门罗的尸体时我们就应该离开 hit the road as soon as they found Monroe's body.
我们怎么知道他没有把我们的行踪告诉福斯特？ I mean, how do we know he didn't tell foster where we're hiding?
如果告诉了 福斯特早就该出现了 Because if he had, foster would've shown up by now.
而且如果我们离开 我们住到哪里去？ And besides, if we take off, what are we gonna live on?
我所有的钱都花在这座房子上 I have all of our money tied up in this house.
为什么不卖了？ So why not just sell it?
耐心 马修 如果现在走 Patience, Matthew. If we take off right away,
看上去会很可疑 it'll look suspicious.
需要编个故事 Now what we need is a story...
搬家的理由 A reason for us to move.
你是阴性AB型 Look at this, a-b negative.
是 很少见的血型 Yeah, it's the rarest of all blood types.
这太奇怪了 Well, there must be something in the water around these parts.
你是今天第二个这种血型的人 You're my second a-b negative today.
真的？ Seriously?
还有一个是谁？ Uh, who was it?
那个人 That guy.
嗨 布里 嗨 Hi, Bree. Oh, hi.
我想谢谢你对于杜鹃花的建议 I just wanted to thank you for your advice on my azaleas.
他们长得很好 They're just thriving.
那没什么 Oh, it was no trouble at all.
真可惜我肯能没法多欣赏那些花了 Such a shame I may not be around to enjoy them.
我母亲生病了 Well, my mother has taken ill.
马修和我 可能要去看她 And Matthew and I, we'll probably go and visit her.
有可能搬走 We may even be moving.
现在还不确定 We just don't know yet.
她住在哪里？ Oh, well, where does she live?
在芝加哥 Oh, back in Chicago.
病严重吗？ Is it serious?
还不清楚 I-I don't know yet.
当然我得去和她的医生谈谈 Well, obviously, I'll be speaking with her doctor.
贝蒂 如果有什么事我可以帮忙 Oh, Betty, if there's anything I can do,
谢谢你 anything at all... Thank you.
你已经帮了我很多 You've already done so much.
再见 Bye.
喔 Ow! Oh!
罗恩医生来过电话 That Dr. Ron called.
他要你再去复检一次 He needs to see you for a follow-up appointment.
他需要见我还是想见我？ He needs to see me or he wants to see me?
天啊 妈妈 他很可爱吗？ Jeez, mom, how cute is this guy?
他可以更可爱的 但我不知道 Oh, he could be cuter... But I don't know how.
那么约他出来 So ask him out.
哦不 我不能那么做 Oh, no, I can't do that.
妈 既然他是个可爱的外科医生 那还有什么问题？ Mom, he's a cute surgeon. What's the problem?
他很年轻 年轻？ He's young. Young?
比我小 Younger than me.
小多少？ How much younger?
假如我是高三学生 Let's just say if I was a senior in high school,
看到他我会说 好帅气的初中新生啊 I'd be saying, "wow, you're a hot fifth grader."
哦 好吧 当然听起来很恶心 Oh, well, of course it's gonna sound gross
如果你这么说的话 你们都是成年人 if you say it that way. But you're both adults.
为什么不约他出来？ So why not just ask him out?
因为我们的对话可能会这样 'Cause the conversation could go something like this,
罗恩医生 我觉得你很性感 "Dr. Ron, I think you're hot."
谢谢你 妈妈 "Oh, well, thank you, ma'am."
我想现在是谈谈你臀部整型的时候了 "Now I think it's time we talk about your hip replacement."
妈妈 你也很性感 Mom, you're hot and funny and nice.
漂亮和贤惠 And... clearly desperate,
而且显然有些饥渴 男生会喜欢这种类型 and guys are into that.
发挥你的强项 Play to your strengths.
感谢上帝你回来了 Thank god you're home.
出什么事了?帕特说是紧急情况 What's wrong? Pat said you told her it was an emergency!
男孩们被学校送了回来 The boys were sent home from school.
什么？为什么?我打电话回家没人接听 What? Why? I called. The machine kept picking up.
我知道 我知道 听着 I know. I know. Look, I...
他们长水痘了 They've got chicken pox.
水痘?这就算紧急情况？ Chicken pox? That's the emergency?
水痘会传染 They're totally contagious.
不会传给我们 Not to us.
会传给我!我从来没得过！ They are to me! I've never had it.
你怎么没告诉过我 Well, you never told me that.
现在的问题是 我不能进去 You know, the point is, I can't go in there.
里面是禁区 It's a hot zone.
好吧 汤姆 总得有人照看孩子 Well, Tom, somebody's gotta take care of our kids.
是啊 既然你免疫 Exactly. And since you're immune...
你在开玩笑!我得回去工作！ Oh, you've gotta be kidding! I have to get back to work!
就几天 直到不会传染 Just for a couple of days, until they're not contagious.
这不是埃博拉病毒 是水痘！ It is not the ebola virus. It's chicken pox.
别像个孩子那样 好吧 You are being a baby. Yes, I am.
好吧 Okay.
如果你认为我现在像个孩子 And if you think I'm being a baby now,
我的提醒你等我真的病了会变成什么样子 do I need to remind you of what I'm like when I'm sick?
记得我得喉炎的那次吗？ Remember that time I had strep throat?
我们去了婚姻问题咨询服务 We wound up in marriage counseling.
我给办公室打电话 I'll call the office.
谢谢 亲爱的 Thanks, honey.
索利斯夫人 我得和你谈谈 Uh, Mrs. Solis, I gotta talk to you.
拉尔夫 如果又是路易斯 Ralph, if this is about Luis
给花浇多了水 overwatering the hydrangeas again,
我跟你说过 我讨厌打小报告的人 I told you, no one likes a tattletale.
我妻子离开了我 My wife left me.
我很抱歉 Oh, I'm sorry.
我不知道你和博妮塔间有问题 I didn't know you and bonita were having problems.
我们一直很好 We weren't. Uh, it was all of a sudden.
突然有一天她装好东西离开了 She just packed her bags and left.
她说我有病 需要别人帮助 She said I have an illness, and I need to get help.
为什么？ Why?
我有点问题 There's nothing wrong with me.
我喜欢在网上看漂亮女人 I just like to look at pretty ladies on the Internet.
嗯 Uh-huh.
当然 他们不总是穿着衣服 And sure, they're not always dressed,
有时候还不止一人 and sometimes, there's more than one.
不过我只去那些最好的网站 But I only go to the classy web sites.
有些网站上的东西很恶心 索利斯夫人 There's some really sick stuff out there, Mrs. Solis.
拉尔夫! 有话快说 Ralph! Make your point.
昨晚 我找到一个新的网站 Um, last night, uh, I found this new web site.
有一张照片是位女士 And there was a picture of a lady
坐在熊皮毯上 什么都没穿 sitting on a bearskin rug with nothing on
只戴了一顶尖尖的帽子 很有节日气息 except for a little pointy elf hat. It was very festive.
拉尔夫 为什么要告诉我这些？ Uh, Ralph, why are you telling me this?
对不起 因为 I'm sorry. It's just, um...
我想你得看下这个 Ahem. I think you really need to see this.
哦上帝啊 Oh, my god!
索利斯夫人 那些灯光打在你身上很好看 The lighting looks great on you, Mrs. Solis.
大多数时候 你得斜着眼看屏幕半边 I mean, most of the time, you have to squint at the screen
才能看到美女 to see anything really good.
但那里没有男人 那很好 And not here, no, sir, that's good.
谢谢你 拉尔夫 Well, um, thank you, Ralph,
让我看到这个 for bringing this to my attention.
索利斯夫人 我在想 Uh, Mrs. Solis, I was wondering...
你能在那个上为我签名吗？ Would you sign that for me?
好吧 Oh, okay.
你去哪里了？ Where have you been?
为什么不来看我？ Why didn't you come to see me?
我每周日都来 I came every sunday.
只是你大多数时候都昏迷不知道我在 You were just too out of it to know I was here.
你在说谎 I think you're lying.
不过说起来 这些天 But then again, these days,
人人都在对我撒谎 I think everyone's been lying to me.
重要的是你终于来了 The thing is, you're here now.
把我想知道的告诉我 So tell me what I wanna know.
找到杀我女儿的人了？ Did you find the man who killed my daughter?
是一个叫托德.福斯特的家伙 It was a guy named Todd forrest...
那个毒贩 This lowlife drug dealer.
和她搞在一起 He got her hooked again.
她试图偷货 他杀死了你女儿 She tried to steal from him, and he killed her.
我又杀死了他 And I killed him.
我以为听到这个你会开心 I thought hearing that would make you happy.
我本来也这么想 I thought it would, too.
但事实不是 But it doesn't.
很抱歉 Ow! I'm sorry.
我想给你注射但你的血管不太好 I wanna start your I.V., but your veins are kinda bad.
来 让我帮你 Well, here, let me help you.
哦 Oh!
你在做什么？ What the hell are you doing?
疯子 You're crazy!
你被解雇了 快滚 You're fired. Get out.
我想我们扯平了 So I guess we're done then?
是 Yeah.
你 You, uh...
会再来看我吗？ You gonna come see me again?
你订好棺材了吗？ You planning on having an open casket?
哦 停 Oh! Close.
嘿 伙计们 Hey, guys. Hey.
嗨 勒奈特 嗨 卡洛斯 Hi, Lynette. Hi, Carlos.
太好了 三明治?真周到 All right! A Reuben? How sweet is that?
高尔夫课程上的午饭 Lunch brought right to the golf course.
我听说你们的孩子病得很重 I hear you got some pretty sick kids in there.
不过是水痘 Oh, it's just chicken pox.
但这位勇士只在洗澡和睡觉时进屋子 But braveheart here will only come in to sleep and shower.
我不能怪他 I can't say I blame him.
换我也不想被感染上 I wouldn't want to be shooting blanks either.
保重 伙计 再见 勒奈特 Be well, my man, okay? Bye, Lynette.
再见 See you later.
他说被感染上是什么意思？ I'm sorry, what did he mean, "shooting blanks"?
没什么 有很小的几率会引起不育 Oh, it's nothing. There's just a small chance of sterility
成年人如果染上水痘 if a grown man gets chicken pox, so...
我们又不打算再要孩子了 那有什么关系？ We're not having any more kids. Why would it matter?
不知道 可能是生存本能 I don't know. You know, survival instinct?
所以如果你是核战争后幸存的唯一男性 So that if you're the last man to survive a nuclear holocaust,
你就要负起繁殖人类的重任？ you could repopulate the planet?
我可没那么说 No, all I'm saying is that,
上帝没有保证我们不会有意外 god forbid something were to happen to either one of us,
我只是希望你我都留有选择的余地 I'd want either one of us to have, you know, options.
你是说如果我死了 So you're saying that if I died...
你会再娶妻生子？ You would want a second wife and a family?
或许 Maybe.
真不敢相信连这个你都想过了 I can't believe you've actually thought about this!
你没有？ Haven't you?
想你死后我再结婚? 没 Thought about who I'd marry if you died? Hmm. No.
亲爱的 那是备用计划 我不会用的 Well, honey, it's a back-up plan. I'm not gonna use it.
那为什么还留着？ Then why have it?
我不知道 也许因为 Well, I don't know, because...
好比有一扇门 It's like, there's this door, right?
但我并不会走过去 And I'm not planning on actually going through it
因为在门里面我已经很快乐了 because I'm so happy in the room that I'm in.
但如果洪水或火灾 But in case of fire or flood,
知道门没有上锁会很安慰 it's comforting to know that the door is unlocked.
亲爱的我不会那样做的！ Honey, I'm not through with that!
是啊 让你的 Yeah, well, why don't you have
第二任妻子来给你做午餐吧 your second wife make you lunch, okay? Oops!
你 You...
布里 我得承认 我 Bree, uh, I have to say, I was, uh,
接到你的电话时我很高兴 I was very pleased to get your call.
我的意思是我很惊讶你会想见我 I mean, I'm surprised you'd want to have anything to do with me
考虑到最近发生过的那些事 given our recent history.
你指把我列为杀死我丈夫的嫌疑犯？ Oh, you mean your having suspected me of murdering my husband?
侦探 那些都是过去的事了 Detective, that is all water under the bridge now.
听你这么说我很高兴 I am very glad to hear you say that.
我得承认 约你出来另有目的 Although, I have to confess, I do have an ulterior motive.
我想请你帮个忙 I need to ask you a favor.
当然 只要我能办到 Oh, well, shoot, whatever I can do.
我们的新邻居 艾波怀特家 We have these, um, new neighbors... the applewhites.
母亲和儿子 从芝加哥搬来 It's a mother and her son. They just moved here from Chicago.
他们看上去很友善 And they seem very nice.
但是他们 But there's...
周围有些事 可疑 There's something about them that's... off.
他们也 古怪 They're... odd.
古怪? 是啊 他们看上去鬼鬼祟祟的 Odd? Yeah, they're secretive and watchful.
最近他家前面又发现了一具尸体 And there was a dead body found in front of their house.
我不能因为你的邻居古怪就查他们的背景 I can't run a background check on your neighbors for being odd.
哦 Oh.
就因为这个你想见我？ Is that why you wanted to see me?
就问我这些？ To... to ask me that?
是啊 怎么？ Yeah, why?
在调查你丈夫案子的时候 Well, I just... During the investigation,
我曾经觉得你我间 I just thought there was a kind of a, um...
有些火花 Spark between us.
我本以为这是次约会 You know, I thought this might be a date.
哦 不 我只是想你帮个忙 Uh, no. I just wanted to ask you a favor.
哦 那没什么 Fine, no harm done.
我从没和那么美丽的女士共进午餐过 When do I ever get to have lunch with such a lovely lady anyway?
约会 或者不是 Date or... no date.
你肯定不能去查艾波怀特吗？ Are you sure that you can't check on the applewhites?
我就是知道有些地方不对劲 I mean, I just know that there's something there.
我对人有第六感 And, you know, I have a sixth sense about people.
是啊 你和杀死你丈夫的凶手定了婚 And yet, you got engaged to the man who murdered your husband.
血压很正常 Well, your blood pressure looks fine.
你可以走了 梅尔夫人 You're free to go, Mrs. Mayer.
我见不到罗恩医生吗？ You mean, I'm not gonna see Dr. Ron?
复诊的检查我负责 Well, I do the follow-up exams.
有问题罗恩医生才会来 Dr. Ron only comes in if there's a problem.
也许我还是得见他一下 Oh, well, maybe I should go ahead and see him anyway,
安全起见 just to be safe.
抱歉 罗恩医生今天的日程很满 I'm sorry. Dr. Ron's schedule is very tight today.
除非你有严重的问题 So unless you're having a serious problem...
你感觉恶心 发冷 麻木？ You're experiencing nausea, chills and tingling, huh?
是啊 但现在我想 Yeah, but now that I think about it,
可能只是那天喝多了咖啡 I bet it's just all the coffee I drink.
我喝了太多咖啡 I drink way too much coffee.
喜欢喝咖啡吗？ Do you like to drink coffee?
恩 不 Uh, no.
不 No.
你手指和脚趾感觉疼痛？ So the tingling is in your fingers and your toes?
我该改喝果汁 我知道一个喝果汁的好地方 I should switch to juice. I know the best juice place.
你一定会喜欢 你喝果汁吗？ You would love it. Do you drink juice?
苏姗 你肌肉痉挛的症状 Wow. Susan, how often have you been having
多久发生一次？ these involuntary muscle spasms?
哦 次数不多 Oh, oh, not that often.
也许我该去做下按摩 I probably just need a good massage.
苏姗？ Susan?
恩？ Yeah?
我要你做下磁共振 I wanna get you in for an m.R.I.
不 我想不需要 Oh. Oh, oh, no, I don't think that's necessary.
谁是医生？ Are you a doctor?
我数学和自然的分数很高 I got high marks in math and science.
我要你去做磁共振 I wanna get you in for an m.R.I.
嗯 Mnh-mnh-mnh.
不不 是我让你误解的 No, no, no, I think given the misunderstanding
所以我付帐单 that I should get the bill.
不行 I won't hear of it.
好吧 我们各自付 All right, we'll split it.
很公平 Fair enough.
知道吗 You know what?
让我送你回家 Let me, uh, let me give you a ride home.
巴顿侦探 你是想用高中生的那套 Detective barton, is this some sort of high school ploy
把我弄去你家？ to get me back to your place?
我只是觉得你不能开车 I just don't think you should be driving a car.
你喝过酒了 You've been drinking.
只喝了两杯 I had two glasses of wine.
三杯 算上那道甜点 Three, plus the tawny port with dessert.
都写在帐单上 如果你想核对一下 It's all here on the bill if you wanna take a look.
听我说 You know what?
我礼貌地拒绝了你 I politely rejected you,
而你想让我难堪来报复 and now you're getting your revenge by embarrassing me.
你喝多了 把钥匙给我 You've had too much to drink. Give me your keys.
我什么都不会给你 I am not giving you anything.
除了帐单 Except the bill.
你知道自己在干什么吗？ What do you think you're doing?
我跟着只是确保你没事 I followed you to make sure you were okay.
你开不稳车 You were weaving.
请从车里出来 Please step out of the car.
你一定在开玩笑 Oh, you can't be serious.
出来 Out.
侦探 我既没醉也不蠢 Detective, I am not drunk, and I am not stupid.
我知道这样为的是什么 I know exactly what this is all about.
我要你去做酒精测试 I'm gonna need you to take a sobriety test.
酒精测试?我才不做什么酒精 A sobriety test? I'm not taking any sobriety...
测试 Test.
这样的报复行为只有没自尊的 This behavior stems from the hurt feelings
男人才做得出 of a man with very low self-esteem.
这个世界很大 The world is a big place,
我相信肯定有某个女人在那里欣赏你的 and I'm sure there is a woman out there somewhere
-男子气概 who'll respond to your macho posturing.
好吧 Well...
希望如此 Here's hoping.
亲爱的 你将要看到的东西 Baby, what you're about to see
肯定会让你震惊生气 will most likely shock and upset you.
好 Okay.
记得斯科特吗? 我们认识时和我约会的那个摄影师 Remember Scott, the photographer I was dating when we met?
为了你我甩掉的那个 The one I dumped for you,
他从来没有忘记这件事 who never really got over it
我说过他会回来报复我 and who I always said was gonna get back at me? Mm-hmm.
卡洛斯 我那么爱你 Oh, Carlos, I love you so much.
走开 Move.
这是什么？ What is this?
斯科特的网站 Scott's web site,
上面有我的照片 with pictures of me on it.
说些什么 Well, say something.
上帝啊 Oh, my god.
本来很有意思的 It was supposed to be funny...
作为一个来自女友的情色圣诞礼物 A naughty little Christmas gift for my boyfriend.
上帝啊 Oh, my god!
那时我的柔韧性很好 I know, I was freakishly flexible back then.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry!
我们怎么办？ Look, what are we gonna do about this?
我想我会打电话给律师 I guess I'll call my lawyers.
我是作为礼物送给他的 他有所有权 I gave these pictures to him as a gift. He owns them.
那样我想我们没辙了 Then I guess we're screwed.
不一定 我在想 Not necessarily. See, here's what I'm thinking...
斯科特是个懦弱的人 Scott's a coward,
你可以威胁他 so you could totally put the scare into him.
你只要去揍他一顿 All you gotta do is go and rough him up,
然后他就会从网上撤下照片 and he'll take my pictures off the web site like that.
抱歉 这是你的错误 I'm sorry, but this is your mistake.
所以你自己去解决 You're gonna have to fix it yourself.
我很想 And I would love to,
但我打不过他 but I have the upper body strength of a kitten.
我需要一个打手！ I need a brute!
加布 我才刚开始 Gaby, I am just now starting
能控制自己的情绪 to get my rage issues under control.
这件事会破坏我的努力 This brute doesn't swing that way anymore,
找别人去吧 so go find another.
你出狱时 Well, when you left prison,
他们有给你发狱友联络名单吗？ did they leave you a contact list?
罗恩医生会来吗？ So is Dr. Ron gonna be here for this?
会 会 会 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
墙那里有钩子 Uh, there's a hook on the wall there
你可以把东西挂在那里 so go ahead and get your stuff hung up
放松些 罗恩医生马上就到 and, uh, just get comfy. Dr. Ron should be here pretty soon.
好的 Okay. Okay.
她是想穿上防尘罩吗？ Is she trying to put on the dust cover?
是 Yep.
你想让她弄多久？ How long are we gonna let this go on?
再过几分钟 Just a few more minutes.
嗨 苏姗 Hi, uh, Susan?
我是罗恩医生 It's Dr. Ron.
做这个检查不用脱衣服 You don't have to get undressed for this.
哦 呃 Oh, uh, i-i, uh...
那你们为什么放件袍子在这里？ Then why did you put out a gown?
不 那不是袍子 No, no, it's not a gown.
那是仪器的防尘罩 It's the dust cover for the m.R.I. Machine.
这个检查大约要45分钟 This should take about 45 minutes.
我知道那里狭窄不舒服 Now I know it's really cramped and uncomfortable in there,
但尽量不要动 but try not to move.
苏姗 我知道你会觉得这个检查很麻烦 Susan, I realize that this whole process must be troubling for you.
是很麻烦 Yeah, it's pretty troubling.
我们能做完它 Well, we're gonna get to the bottom of this.
我会在这里陪你 好吗？ And I'll be here for you, okay?
嘿 罗恩医生 Hey, Dr. Ron?
我有预感结果会是一切正常 I just have a feeling that everything's gonna turn out fine.
如果真是那样 And when it does...
我想请你吃饭 I'd like to buy you dinner
庆祝我的健康 to celebrate my health.
我想意大利菜也许不错 You know, I was thinking maybe Italian?
随便什么 也许这能算一次约会 Oh, what the heck, maybe we can call it a date.
如果你愿意 If you like.
罗恩医生？ Dr. Ron?
他刚才离开了 Uh, he left awhile ago.
去接女朋友的电话 He got a phone call from his girlfriend.
喔 Oh.
好吧 Okay.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我现在想出来了 I'd like to get out now.
请不要动 Try not to move.
早上好 路易斯 拉尔夫 Good morning, Luis, Ralph.
早上好 索利斯夫人 Good morning, Mrs. Solis.
亲爱的早上好 Good morning, honey.
终于又跟我说话了 Hey, you're talking to me again.
我想过你说的话 Well, I thought about what you said...
关于那些照片 你是对的 About the pictures... And you're right.
都是我的错 我得背着它生活 It was my mistake and I have to live with it.
你到底在干什么？ What the hell are you doing?!
背着它生活！ I'm living with it!
嘿 转过头继续干活 Hey, turn around and keep gardening!
你真凶啊 Aw, you're so mean.
马上穿上衣服 Put your clothes on right now.
为什么?你在乎别的男人看我吗 Why? You either care if men leer at me or not.
你说得很清楚你不在乎 And you made it clear that you don't. So what's the point?
加布丽尔 我不会为你打那个男人 Gabrielle, I am not beating this guy up for you!
那你最好想出别的办法弄回照片 Then you better think of another way to get my pictures back.
如果你不弄回来 柴藤郡的人 Because if you don't, people on Wisteria Lane
会看到更多 are gonna be seeing a lot more of me!
拉尔夫 尽情看吧 Ralph, Luis, feast your eyes!
我的手指！ Aah! Aah! My finger!
我会找到的 我的手指！ I'll find it! I'll find it! Aah, my finger!
一定就在这里 我会找到的 It's gotta be here somewhere. I'll look for it, man.
别担心伙计 我会找到的 我的手指！ Don't worry, man. I'll find it. Oh, my finger!
嘿 亲爱的 好消息 Hey, honey, good news.
我看了一下潘妮 I checked on penny,
她没有哭 and she didn't scream.
我想她应该适应了这个口罩 I think she's getting used to the mask.
我不想你有什么选择 汤姆 I don't want you to have options, Tom.
如果我死了 我想听到你的生活将结束 If I die, I wanna hear your life would be over.
我要你的余生都在哭泣中渡过 I want you to spend the rest of your life screaming,
"在飞机上的那个应该是我!" "it should've been me on that plane!"
飞机？ Plane?
我假设是空难 可能是别的什么 I'm assuming there was a crash. It could've been something else.
好 等等 等待 Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
你能想像有多痛苦吗 Do you have any idea how painful it is to hear
知道你居然考虑过再婚和孩子 about you even think about your next wife and kids?
我决不会那样 I could never do that!
我无法想像失去你的生活 I can't imagine my life without you.
你是我的一切！ You are my everything!
你也是我的一切 Honey, you're my everything.
说说是容易 Okay, well, that's easy to say,
但我要你证明 but I need you to show me.
怎么证明？ How?
做输精管切除 With a vasectomy.
不能给你买束花吗？ Can't I just get you some flowers?
要那样才行 Look, it makes perfect sense.
我们又不打算再要孩子 We're not gonna have any more kids.
而且避孕药让我浮肿 那样会很好 And the pill just makes me bloat. It'll be great!
不 勒奈特 这很疯狂 我知道 我知道 No, okay, Lynette, this is crazy. Oh, I know! I know!
但结婚的人该那么做 But it is what married people do.
他们为缓和对方的不安而做出牺牲 They go out of their way to calm each other's irrational fears.
来吧 汤姆 Oh, come on, Tom.
我真的需要你这么做 I really need you to do this.
好吧 Well, okay.
行 Fine, yeah.
我去预约 I'll make an appointment.
谢谢你 Thank you.
能问你个问题吗？ Hey, can I ask you somethin'?
最好不要 I'd rather you didn't.
你是怎么开始的？ How'd you get started?
开始？ Started?
你知道 干这一行 You know, in the escort business?
你说什么？ I beg your pardon.
我打赌男人会为你疯狂 I bet the guys go crazy with your whole...
你是那么古典 高贵 Classy, repressed thing you got going on, huh?
我是说你的皮肤那么 I mean, your skin has, like,
细腻 no pores.
我不是很确定 I am not sure,
但我想你是在称赞我 but I think there was a compliment in there somewhere,
那么谢谢你 so thank you.
但我不是妓女 But I am not an escort.
你一晚开多少价？ How much you charge a night?
听着 我 Look, I'm...
五千 $5,000.
哇 Whoa.
为五千块你要做些什么？ What do you have to do exactly for 5 grand?
嗯 Hmm.
好了 All right.
你的保释金付清了 可以走了 Your bail cleared. You're free to go.
你的车被扣下了 Your car's at the impound lot.
明天早上来取 And you can pick it up in the morning.
那我怎么回家? 我没有钱 打电话给朋友 Well, how am I supposed to get home? I don't have any money. Call a friend.
今天我已经受够了羞辱 I have been through enough humiliation for one day.
希望你有更好的建议 I hope you have a better suggestion than that.
让我想想 Okay, well, let me think, um...
走 Walk.
上帝啊 Oh, for goodness sakes!
布里? 你没事吧？ Bree? Is everything okay?
哦 我很好 车胎破了 Oh, oh, I'm fine. I just, um, had a flat tire.
今天是你的幸运日 我换胎很熟练 上来 It's your lucky day. I'm a whiz at changing tires. Hop in.
谢谢你 You know, thank you,
但其实是机械有问题 but I think it's actually something more mechanical.
我的车发出奇怪的杂音 My car has been making just a terrible noise.
我认识修车老手 Well, I have auto club.
来吧 Come on.
其实 我的车被警察扣下了 Actually, my car has been impounded by the police.
谢谢你 贝蒂 Thanks, Betty, and, um...
如果你能帮我保守这个 I'd appreciate it if you could keep
小秘密感激不尽 this little incident to yourself.
我一个字都不会说 我发誓 I won't say a word. I swear.
听你这样说真安慰 Well, that's good to hear,
这条街上大多数人都不会保守秘密 because most people on this street couldn't keep a secret
除非和自己有关 布里 if their lives depended on it. Well, Bree,
即使被别人知道了 也没什么大不了 even if everyone does find out, it's no big deal.
我是说很多人都有过酒后驾车被捕 I mean, lots of people have d.U.I.S.
对 但区别是大多数人 Yes, but the difference is most of those people
被捕时真的喝醉了 were actually drunk when they were arrested.
而我没有 I was not.
当然 Well, of course.
知道吗 你听起来并不相信我 You know, you sound like you don't believe me.
我只是 Well, um, it's just...
我知道最近你经历了很多 I know you've gone through a lot lately...
你丈夫的死 儿子的问题 The death of your husband, problems with your son.
所以自我保护是很正常的 It would only be natural if you did self-medicate.
抱歉 但几时起你对我的 I'm sorry, but since when do you know
个人生活那么清楚了？ so much about my personal life?
布里 如你所说 Bree, it's like you said...
这条街上的人保守不了秘密 The people on this street are not great at keeping secrets.
除了你 Except for you.
你很能保密 You're really good at it.
你说什么 I beg your pardon.
你在午夜搬来这里 Well, you moved into your house in the middle of the night.
天知道你有什么 God knows what you moved in
不想让别人看见 that you didn't want anybody to see.
人们听见你房间里奇怪的声音 People hear sounds coming at all hours from there.
最近的怪事是什么呢？ And, oh, what was the last one? Oh, right...
在你家门口发现了尸体！ They found a dead body in front of your home.
人人都在谈论艾波怀特 Everybody talks about the applewhites,
但没人能弄明白 but nobody can figure out
你们究竟在藏什么 exactly what you people are hiding.
所以恭喜 你的秘密是安全的 So congratulations. Your secrets are safe...
至少现在 For now.
伊迪? 嗨 我是贝蒂.艾波怀特 Edie? Hi, it's Betty applewhite.
抱歉那么晚打电话给你 Yeah, I'm sorry to call you so late but, um...
明天一早我一定得见你 I really need to meet with you first thing in the morning.
是 Yes.
我决定卖掉房子 Well, I've decided to sell my house.
罗恩医生？ Dr. Ron?
你在这里干嘛？ What are you doing here?
我们得谈谈 Uh, we need to talk.
这些话在电话里说不清楚 And it's not the kind of talk we can have over the phone.
一定要吗？ Oh, are you sure?
因为现在我这样子还是电话里谈比较好 Um, because I would look a lot better over the phone right now.
苏姗 你的检查结果出来了 Um, Susan, your, uh, your test results came back.
这辈子第一次 我弄不明白 And for the life of me, I can't figure it out.
根据你 Now based on the...
描述的症状 症状？ On the symptoms you were describing... symptoms?
对 头晕 麻木 肌肉痉挛 Yeah, the dizziness, the tingling, the muscle spasms,
寒冷 应该是神经问题 the chills... It could be neurological.
也可能是免疫紊乱 It also could be based on an autoimmune disorder.
坦白说 我没有头绪 I just... frankly, I'm stumped.
哦 不不 不不 Oh, no, no, no, no.
嘿 听着 我们能渡过难关 好吗？ Hey, listen, we're gonna get through this, okay?
我很抱歉 I am so sorry.
但我没有生病 But I'm not sick.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
护士不让我见你 Your nurse wouldn't let me see you, and I...
但我很想见你 Really wanted to see you,
所以我瞎编了症状 so I sort of faked all my symptoms.
头晕 寒冷 所有的 The dizziness, the chills, you know, all of it.
为 为什么你要这么做？ Why... why would you do something like that?
你哪里有毛病吗？ What the hell is wrong with you?
我知道 我也很内疚 I know. I know. I feel really awful.
我不擅长和男人交往 I am just not the best at meeting men.
我觉得你很可爱 And I thought you were cute, and I sort of thought
我想可能你也认为我可爱 你又是医生 that maybe you thought I was cute, and you're a doctor,
真性感 and that's so sexy.
我一整晚担心你的病 So I was up all night worried sick
查阅医书 digging through medical books,
试图搞清不存在的 trying to figure out some mysterious disease
神秘疾病 that doesn't really exist?
真的?你整晚没睡？ Really? You were up all night?
对 我不喜欢告诉别人 Yes. I don't enjoy telling people
他快死了 I think they're going to die.
特别是我喜欢的人 你喜欢我？ Especially not people I like. You like me?
是 Yes.
那你的女朋友是怎么回事? 什么女朋友？ What about your girlfriend? What girlfriend?
在磁共振室打来电话那个 The one who called in the m.R.I. Room?
我们约会过一次 她要我推荐一个皮肤科医生 We had one date. She wanted a referral to a dermatologist.
她得湿疹了 She's got eczema.
哦 Oh!
也许几时我们能一起出去？ Maybe we could go out sometime?
你喜欢寿司吗？ Do you like Sushi?
我喜欢寿司 明晚我有空 I love Sushi. I'm available tomorrow night.
不不 明晚不行 我气还没消 No, no, no, tomorrow's no good. I'll still be angry.
礼拜五我能消气 I should be cooled down by Friday.
礼拜五很好 Oh, uh, Friday's good.
还有一件事 Oh, there's one thing...
磁共振显示你的脾脏错位 Your m.R.I. Showed that you have a wandering spleen.
什么？ A what?
脾脏错位 没什么大不了 It's a wandering spleen. It's no big deal.
有时候内脏是会跑来跑去 Sometimes the thing just moves around in there.
但我们得注意它 But we'll keep an eye on it.
什么错位(脾脏是个很偏的词)？ Wandering what?
好了 打倒他 老虎 Okay, go get him, tiger.
我不能那么做加布 I can't do it, Gaby.
什么？ What?
我不能去那里 我认为我可以但其实不行 I can't go in there. I thought I could, but I can't.
你保证过！ You promised!
自从出狱以来 Ever since I got out of prison,
我试图过更好的生活 I've been trying to lead a better life.
这辈子第一次我能说 And for the first time, I can honestly say
我是个天主教徒 我不想毁了这些 that I'm a good catholic, and I don't want to ruin that.
今天干完明天去做个长忏悔 So do this today and go to an extra long mass tomorrow.
那样不行 It doesn't work that way.
好吧 听着 Okay, look, I'm really trying
我真的试图去理解你道德上的矛盾 to understand your moral dilemma here, I am.
但如果你不把我照片弄回来 But if you don't get my pictures back,
我就会被羞辱 I'm gonna be humiliated.
你以为只有我们的园丁 You think our gardener
会上这些网站？ is the only local perv surfing the web?
抱歉 加布丽尔 I'm sorry, Gabrielle.
你以前会发疯的 You used to go crazy
当别的男人异样地看着我 when men would so much as look at me the wrong way...
而且是穿着衣服 And that's when I had clothes on.
我试着变好 I'm trying to be better than that now.
也许只是你不再那么爱我了 Or maybe you just don't love me as much as you used to.
为什么你就不能让我做个好人？ Why can't you just let me be a good person?
如果你真的爱我 You know, if you really loved me,
根本不会提出这个要求 you wouldn't even ask me to go in there.
如果你真的爱我 都不用我开口 If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask!
好吧 忘记那个 Fine, forget it.
真的？ Really?
做你的好人 自欺欺人 Be a good person. Knock yourself out.
不是我不爱你 It's not that I don't love you. I...
是啊 让我们回家吧 Yeah, okay, look, let's just go home.
你要干什么？ What are you doing?
把你的照片拿回来 I'm getting your pictures back.
我不会打他 I'm not gonna hurt him.
我和他谈谈 唤起他的良知 I'll talk to him, appeal to his better nature.
能帮你什么吗？ Can I help you?
我是卡洛斯.索利斯 I'm Carlos solis.
你网站上有我妻子的裸照 You have, uh, naked pictures of my wife on your web site.
啊 Oh.
你是 You're, uh...
加布丽尔的丈夫？ Gabrielle's husband? Uh-huh.
你相信吗？ Well, you know what?
我正想把那些照片撤掉 I was just about to take those off anyway.
啊 Oh.
太好了 That's great.
我很感激 斯科特 I really appreciate this, Scott.
嘿 没问题 Hey, no problem.
实话告诉你加布丽尔的页面 To tell you the truth, Gabrielle's pages
没给我赚到多少钱 weren't exactly raking in the big bucks for me.
我不相信 I find that hard to believe.
我不是说加布丽尔不漂亮 她当然漂亮 I'm not saying Gabrielle's not a pretty girl. Of course she is.
但 她不是网上的那种类型 明白吗？ But, uh, she ain't exactly Internet pretty, you know?
什么意思？ What does that mean?
网络是梦幻的 不是时尚 The web's about fantasy, not fashion.
男人为色情上网 I mean, guys surfing for porn,
他们不在乎衣服是怎么穿的 they don't care how the clothes are hanging off the body.
他们想看到好货色 They just wanna see the goods.
如果女人没什么线条 So, uh, if little miss nasty ain't rocking some curves...
我妻子身材很好 My wife has a perfect figure.
别理解错我的意思 Don't get me wrong.
我们的小加布知道怎么 走台步 Our little Gaby knows how to, uh... work a runway,
但 说到网络情色 but, uh, when it comes to cyber lovin'?
男人不会想看她 No real man's gonna waste tissue on that.
给你 都在这里了 There you go. That's all of 'em.
我们解决了？ So we cool now?
那才是我的男人 Now that's my guy.
嗨 Hey.
你不疼吗？ You're not limping.
一切顺利？ Did everything go okay?
我做不到 I couldn't do it.
怎么了？ What happened?
不知道 I don't know.
我到了那里 I got there, I...
穿上手术服 I put on the paper gown and I, uh...
但我不能那么做 I just couldn't do it.
为什么不？ Why not?
感觉像要被阉割 It felt like I was being emasculated.
算了吧 我是认真的 勒奈特 Oh, please. I'm serious, Lynette.
我不再赚钱了 I don't make the money around here anymore.
我不能养你和孩子 I don't provide for you and the kids.
所以我不能 And I wasn't gonna let them snip out
不能让他们剪断唯一能让我觉得像男人的东西 the last thing that makes me a man.
在家照看孩子 Staying home and taking care of the kids
并不让你减少男子气 doesn't make you less of a man.
这么想很疯狂 That's crazy.
你希望我减少你的恐惧 You expect me to calm your irrational fears?
我希望你减少我的 I expect you to calm mine.
你在说你不开心？ Are you saying you're unhappy?
有一点 A little bit, yeah.
我们该怎么办？ Well, what are we gonna do about that?
不知道 I don't know.
我们就不能 Well, can't we just...
不 勒奈特 No, Lynette...
我不知道 I don't know.
嗨 我是巴顿侦探 Hi, it's detective barton.
那天的事我觉得很糟 Look, I feel awful about what happened the other day.
我是个疯子 作为补偿 I was a jerk. So to make it up to you,
我调查了一下那个死者 I did some sniffing around about the dead man
那个在你邻居家门口发现的 they found in front of your neighbor's house.
我有一些信息 I've got some information.
他的名字是卡特.门罗 一个在 His name was Curtis Monroe... A private detective
几年前被吊销执照的私人侦探 who lost his license a couple of years ago.
他显然是从芝加哥来的 He's apparently from Chicago.
不知道是否有帮助 Now I don't know if any of this is helpful, but...
几年前 a couple of years ago.
他显然是从芝加哥来的 He's apparently from Chicago.
不知道是否有帮助 Now I don't know if any of this is helpful,
对发生的一切我感到很糟糕 but I just feel terrible about what happened...
疾病有不同的形态 Illnesses can take on many forms.
身体的疾病容易治好 Those of the body are easy to treat.
难的是 Much more difficult
治好心底的疾病 are the hidden maladies that fester in our hearts...
隐秘的嗜好吞食我们的灵魂 The secret addictions that consume our souls...
我们否认的疾病 影响我们的判断 And the diseases we deny which affect our judgment.
为了生存我们需要 To survive, we need to find
特殊的人医治自己 that special someone who can heal us.
我这辈子那么努力 I worked so hard all my life...
那么努力 So hard.
现在却什么也得不到 Now it's all nothing.
我的一个女儿恨我我也恨她 I got one daughter I hate and one who hates me
还有一个很早就死了 and one dead before her time.
没人留在我身边 No one left for me now.
我这辈子为了什么 Oh, what did I do it for?
你很棒 That was good.
什么都没感觉到 I didn't feel a thing.
我已经够了 I have enough pain.
我什么也不需要 I don't need anymore.
我们无法预料 But we can never predict
谁将治好我们的疾病 who will have the cure for what ails us...
别的护士告诉我你很难相处 The other nurses all warned me you were difficult, Mr. Taylor.
或者他们几时出现 Or when they'll show up.
但我想我们能相处得 很愉快 But I think we're gonna get along just fine.