《绝望主妇》前情提要 Previously on Desperate Housewives
紫藤郡新诞生的英雄 Wisteria Lane's new hero...
有人吗 Hello?
大英雄的房子棒极了 Superhero houses are great!
真面目不可告人 turned out to be anything but.
奥森的妈妈定居下来 Orson's mother took up residence.
我决定接受你妻子的盛情邀请 I've decided to accept your wife's kind invitation.
你敢 You wouldn't.
麦克根本记不得 Mike couldn't remember...
失忆了 No memory?
真方便啊 That's convenient.
任何事 ... anything at all.
瞧好了 搜查令 Here's our search warrant.
我们找不到那个工具箱 We couldn't find the toolbox.
你可能想把扳手清理一下 You might want to wash that wrench off.
上面有点东西 It's got something on it.
我是说我们 I'm just saying that
从来不在你家过夜 we never spend the night at your house.
是的 但你家更温馨 Yes, but your place is so warm and cozy.
现在一定很乱 It's also a disaster area.
因为我今天没空打扫房间 I didn't get a chance to clean it today.
没事 让我来 Oh, here. Let me.
苏珊·梅尔从来没觉得自己是灰姑娘 Susan Mayer had never thought of herself as Cinderella,
直到某天 but then one day...
一位王子出现了 a prince showed up...
不能让你睡在猪窝里 对吧 Well, we can't have you sleeping in squalor, can we?
今晚就去我家吧 My place it is.
随后苏珊发现她的生活 ... and Susan realized her life
变得如童话般梦幻 had become a fairy tale.
王子将她接进了城堡 And since her prince had welcomed her into his castle,
而她唯一能做的就是好好报答他 she felt the least she could do was thank him.
一次 Again...
又一次 and again...
再一次 and again.
然而 次日清晨 苏珊发现城堡 The next morning, however,Susan discovered castles...
是有管家来打理的 don't run themselves.
好吧 All right.
你快进快出吧 But let's make it a quickie
别浪费了太多"蜜汁" because you are wasting water.
抱歉 无意惊吓你 Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.
-你是谁 -我是鲁伯特 - Uh... who are you? - I'm Rupert.
我为亨斯沃斯先生工作 I work for Mr. Hainsworth.
就是跟你睡觉的那位先生 That would be the man you slept with,
我怕你们甚至不知道对方的名字 in case names weren't exchanged.
没有 我是你老爷的女朋友 No. I'm your boss's girlfriend.
当然 他应该跟你提起过我 Surely, he mentioned me.
我没有印象 Not that I recollect.
鲁伯特 Rupert.
早安 老爷 Good morning, boss.
我还以为你今天休息 I thought you were off today.
你姐姐不是来了吗 Isn't your sister in town?
她下个礼拜才来 先生 That's next weekend, sir.
那倒是挺好的 It's a good thing too.
否则 我可能就没有这个荣幸 Otherwise, I might not have had the pleasure of
见到您女朋友了 meeting your girlfriend.
苏珊 Susan.
是的 我们是在医院认识的 Yes. We met at the hospital.
我去帮你拿件睡袍吧 Why don't I fetch you a robe?
好主意 Loving that idea.
你想吃点什么早餐 Would you care for some breakfast?
煎蛋卷 草莓馅饼 还是奶油蛋卷 Omelet, strawberry tart, brioche?
听起来都不错 随便吧 Yeah. That sounds great. You pick.
是的 苏珊确实过上了 Yes, Susan's life had indeed
童话般的生活 become a fairy tale.
你知道亨斯沃斯先生是有太太的吧 You are aware there is a Mrs. Hainsworth?
当然知道了 Well, of course.
但哪个故事里 And what's a fairy tale...
那就吃馅饼吧[另意妓女] Tart it is.
没有破坏婚姻的恶人呢 ...without a dragon to slay?
我们知道危险人物就潜伏于身边 We know dangerous men walk among us.
但我们无法确定他们是谁 What we can't be sure of is who they are
或者他们的藏身之处 or where they hide.
所以我们能做的 就是对陌生人保持警惕 So the most we can offer any stranger is reasonable doubt.
但当疑云消散 But once the doubt is gone,
人们却无法保持理性 people are anything but reasonable.
跟你说 我们的邻居是个恋童癖 I am telling you, our neighbor is a pedophile,
希望你们能有所行动 and I expect you to do something about it.
斯加沃太太 他没有任何 Ms. Scavo, he's not listed on
性侵犯方面的案底 any sex offender registry.
甚至连一张交通罚单都没有 He's never had a traffic ticket.
他是个单身汉 He's a single man
却有满满一个地下室的玩具 with a basement full of toys!
我理解你的忧虑 I understand your concern,
但是一个人不可能因为收藏玩具而获罪 but we can't book a guy on possession of toys.
你不明白 他的房间令人浑身起鸡皮疙瘩 You don't get it. His house had this creepy vibe.
汤姆 快跟他说说 Tell him, Tom.
我根本没去过那个房间 I never went down to the actual room.
好吧 他不在场 不了解情况 Okay, he wasn't in there. He doesn't know.
他有一整面墙贴满了 Look, he had a wall full of pictures
各种各样的 穿着泳装的半裸男孩照片 of half-naked boys in swimsuits.
你不是说他是个游泳教练吗 Didn't you say he was a swim coach?
你到底是干什么的 他的律师吗 What are you, his lawyer?
你必须承认 那很怪异 You have to admit, it's odd.
怪异的就是 Here's what's odd.
如果你们邻居有意隐瞒恶心的癖好 If your neighbor had something to hide,
他怎么可能邀请你们去参观他的收藏呢 why'd he invite you in to see all of his stuff?
严格来说 我去的时候他不在家 He wasn't technically home when I went inside.
那你算非法入室了 So you broke in?
当时门是开着的 The door was open.
我是去给他送蛋糕的 I was bringing him a cake.
送蛋糕 A cake?
为了感谢他 It was a thank-you cake.
他算是救过我一命吧 He sort of saved my life.
她做蛋糕的时候 尚不知道那人是个恋童癖 She didn't know he was a pedophile when she baked the actual cake.
他才不关心这个 汤姆 He doesn't care the cake, Tom.
你为什么吼我 Why snap at me?
-我没吼你 -你吼了 - I'm not snapping at you. - You snapped.
我吼是因为对面住了一个恶魔 I am snapping because there is a monster across the street,
但巴尼·伐夫却搞得我像恶人先告状一样 and Barney Fife here's making me sound like the bad guy!
巴尼·伐夫：《葛瑞菲斯秀》中的一位警官名字
很抱歉 她最近压力很大 I'm sorry. She's been under a lot of stress,
睡眠不太好 hasn't slept well.
你最好没在替我道歉 You better not be apologizing for me!
我得撤了 Gotta go.
有个非常好的消息要告诉你 So I've got some fabulous news.
希望比这条裙子要好 Well, I hope it's more fabulous than this dress.
我穿成这样 恐怕只有老头子才会勾搭 I look like something Ike Turner would hit.
你得再找一位私人采购员了 You're gonna have to find yourself another personal shopper.
我不过是讽刺了一条裙子 I slam one dress,
你就不干了 and you quit on me?
不 我就是要跟你说这事 No, that's my news.
我要离开这家商店 自己创业了 I'm leaving the store and starting my own business.
"韦恩美容院" 你开了一家沙龙 "Beauty by Vern." You're opening up a salon?
天啊 你还能再有基情些吗 God, could you get any gayer?
那是专门针对选美参赛者的咨询公司 It's a consulting firm for beauty pageant contestants.
那好吧 And the answer's yes.
本周我要给参加 This week I'm coaching girls
"雪花小姐"比赛的女孩们指导 for the Miss Snowflake Pageant.
报酬丰厚哦 It's very rewarding.
你知道什么最有趣吗 Hey, you know what might be fun?
如果你能来上上课的话 If you come and give a talk.
给小姑娘们一点指导 Give the kids some pointers.
韦恩 我以前是专在米兰和巴黎走秀的 Vern. I worked the catwalks in Milan and Paris.
我可没兴趣教那些小娃娃 I'm not gonna give makeup tips to little Miss Training Bra.
你最近表现得真是个贱妇 You have been in rare bitch form.
都持续几个月了 It's been months,
所以别赖你的生理期 so don't blame it on your cycle.
不准叫我贱人 也别再研究我的生理期 Don't call me a bitch. And stop tracking my cycle.
你这样很变态 I told you, that freaks me out.
我不过是说 你今天很暴躁 I'm just saying, you've been very cranky today.
发生什么事了 What's going on?
今天离婚判决书下来了 The divorce decree came through today.
卡洛斯正式从我的生活中消失了 Carlos is officially out of my life.
亲爱的 Oh, honey...
那些女孩的年龄都在8到12岁之间 The girls' ages range eight to twelve.
我们每周四在麋鹿小屋的康乐室见面 We meet every Thursday in the rec room of the Elks Lodge.
我不会接这个活的 I'm not doing it.
你需要一份工作 You need a project.
那正是你的问题所在 你太过无聊 That's your problem, you're bored.
知道怎么才能不无聊吗 And you know what the cure for that is?
帮助他人 Helping others.
好吧 我去 Fine. I'll do it.
但我希望你送我这条裙子 But I want this dress for free.
真是个魔头 你刚刚不是说不喜欢吗 Evil. You said you hated it.
我还不喜欢帮助他人呢 And I hate helping others too,
不是照样答应了吗 but I'm doing that, aren't I?
没外人吧 Is the coast clear?
我可不想又在你家管家面前暴露 I don't want to flash the help again.
放松点 他在做早餐 Relax. He's making breakfast.
欢迎你在我面前大露特露 You're more than welcome to flash me.
鲁伯特为你工作多久了 How long has Rupert worked for you?
很多年 他已经是家里一份子了 Oh, for years. He's practically family.
你们关系那么亲密 So you're that close,
怎么从没跟他提起过我呢 and you never told him about me?
是啊 关于这个问题 Yes, about that...
鲁伯特对简忠心耿耿 Rupert was incredibly devoted to Jane.
他从来没见过我跟其他女人在一起 He's never seen me with another woman,
尤其是说着淫话的裸体女人 let alone a frisky, naked one.
难怪他早上对我那么冷淡 That explains why he was a little cold to me this morning.
他对你态度不好 我要找他谈谈 Was he? I'll have a talk with him.
没事 别跟他说 Oh, no. Don't do that.
那样只会让情况更糟 That'll just make it worse.
我明白 他跟简感情很深 I get it. He loved Jane.
他也不认识我 He doesn't know me.
看来我要好好取悦他了 You know, I'll just have to charm him.
跟他拉近关系 Warm him up a little.
我相信你会有办法的 Well, I'm sure you'll find a way.
好极了 早上9点 Great, 9:00 in the morning
我却还得穿着黑色的紧身晚装 and I have to put on a slinky black cocktail dress.
我有个想法 Hey, here's an idea.
既然你放了些衣物在我家的抽屉 You keep some things in a drawer at my house.
那我能也放些在你这吗 Would it be OK if I had one here?
一个抽屉 你觉得我们会经常在这里吗 A drawer? Do you think we'll be here that often?
你的淋浴器有6个喷头 Your shower has six power nozzles.
不管你来不来 我都会再来的 With or without you, I'll be back.
好吧 那我想尽办法也要给你一个抽屉 Well, then, by all means, let's get you a drawer.
不用那么多 那些随便给我一个就行了 I don't need much. One of those will do.
其实 那样不太好 Actually, that's not a good idea.
鲁伯特喜欢把东西放置在特定的地方 Rupert arranges things meticulously.
如果你打乱了他的整理系统 You'll never win him over
就更不可能讨他喜欢了 if you mess with his system.
鲁伯特 Rupert?
你时机把握的真好 Your timing's perfect.
不总是这样 Not always.
苏珊需要一个抽屉 Susan will be needing a drawer.
一个抽屉 先生 A drawer, sir?
是的 放她的衣物 Yes. For her things.
她以后会经常来的 She's going to be spending more time here.
是的 老鲁 Yeah, Rupe.
希望我们能成为好朋友 I hope we can be good friends,
因为你以后会经常见到我 'cause you're gonna be seeing lots more of me.
女士 这似乎不太可能 Oh, madam, that hardly seems possible.
婆婆 你的饭菜快凉了 Mother Hodge, your food will get cold.
请问 为什么酒柜上锁了 Why, please, is there a lock on the liquor cabinet?
因为你的医生说 Because your doctor says
你服用那种药物 不能喝酒 people taking your medication shouldn't drink,
但显然你对这一警告充耳不闻 a warning you've chosen to ignore
因为伏特加酒瓶上留下了你的口红印 if the lipstick on the vodka bottle is any indication.
又是水煮鱼 我不想吃这个 Poached fish again? I don't want this.
我要吃跟你们一样的菜 I want what you're all having.
医生说你的饮食要低脂要清淡 Well, your doctor has you on a low fat, low sodium diet.
本周吃了八顿饭 Eight meals this week,
我同样的话说了八遍 eight times I've told you the same thing.
谁想来致祈祷辞 So who would like to say grace?
让我来吧 Allow me.
亲爱的主 感谢您赐予我 Dear Lord, I thank you for
这么清淡无味 漫不经心准备的晚饭 this bland, indifferently prepared meal,
恳求您点燃我那铁石心肠的 and beseech you to ignite some spark of compassion
儿媳妇心中慈悲的火苗吧 in my cold-hearted daughter-in-law,
也许她会对我表达一些怜悯之心 that she might show some shred of mercy to me,
我就是她可怜的俘虏 her wretched captive.
阿门 Amen.
妈妈 请容我提醒你一句 Mother, may I remind you,
是你要求来这住的 you asked to come here.
来之前我又不知道 是刚出狼窝又入虎穴 I didn't know I'd be trading one jail for another.
至少在养老院我还能 At least at the home you could
买通看护人偷带一些东西进来 bribe the orderlies to smuggle things in.
但是在这儿 "总司令"什么事都不允许 But here, nothing gets past the commandant.
我已经竭尽全力想要 I have done everything I can to
让你感到快乐和舒适了 make you happy and comfortable.
你还想要我们做什么 What do you want from us?
我要自由 I want my freedom.
我想离开这个专制的集中营 I want out of this perky little gulag
住到一个可以自己做主的地方 and into a house I can call my own.
你得给我买个房子 And you're going to buy it for me.
我负担不起 I can't afford to buy you a house.
不买的后果你才负担不起 You can't afford not to.
我知道买房子这事不好办 I know a house won't be easy to swing,
爱德华·阿尔比：荒诞派剧作家
但你还受得了几次爱德华·阿尔比式 but how many more of these Edward Albee dinners
晚餐的折腾 do you want to sit through?
她说"不买的后果你才负担不起"是什么意思 What did she mean by "you can't afford not to"?
她是在拿什么事要挟你吗 Was she threatening you with something?
是的 她是在要挟要把我们折磨至死 Yes, she's threatening to make us miserable till we cave.
至少先看看伊迪手头有没有便宜的房源吧 Look, at least see if Edie has any cheap listings.
我们会更开心 我妈也会更开心 We'll be happier. My mother will be happier.
她根本不会照顾自己 She'll take terrible care of herself
不出一年就会死掉 and be dead in a year.
你抢了我的台词 You just stole my next argument.
你的钱只够付 OK, you've got enough money
电话费或有线电视费 二选一 to pay either the phone or the cable bill, but not both.
麦克 你在听吗 Hello? Mike?
我是在帮你呢 I'm trying to help you here.
抱歉 你决定吧 Oh, I'm sorry. Do whatever you want.
好吧 就付有线电视费 Fine. Cable it is.
反正也没人打电话找你 Nobody calls you, anyway.
你们想干嘛 What do you want?
我家马桶堵了 My toilet's clogged.
我想你应该能修 I thought maybe you could fix it.
等等 你修不了 对吧 Oh, wait. You can't, can you?
因为你根本没工具 Because you don't have any tools.
身为一个水管工没工具一定很艰难吧 Must be tough being a plumber without tools.
为什么你们这些人就不能让我清静清净呢 Why don't you people leave me the hell alone?
老天 你是靠服务营生的人 Jeez. You sure are hostile for a guy
这种态度可不礼貌啊 who makes his living in a service industry.
我刚刚才想到 It just occurred to me,
如果你交不起电费的话 there's no point paying the cable bill
交了有线电视费也白搭 if you're not gonna have electricity.
所以 我想先把电费交了 So... I'm thinking, pay the electricity up front
然后给电话公司寄张支票 and send a check to the phone company...
你去哪了 大家都等着呢 Where have you been? They're all waiting.
我是来教授时尚的 I'm here to teach fashion.
迟到就是一种时尚 I'm fashionably late.
真"可爱" 记住 Cute. Now remember,
那些母亲都是东拼西凑 These mothers have refinanced their trailers
才付的学费 in order to pay for this,
所以你进去的时候 so when you make your entrance,
一定要闪亮登场 for god's sake, sparkle.
除去这三张《时尚》杂志的封面外 In addition to three Vogue covers,
她还曾是拉洛克彩妆的代言人 you may remember her as the face of La Roque Cosmetics.
请大家热烈欢迎加布里尔·玛凯兹小姐 Please welcome Miss Gabrielle Marquez!
韦恩 借一步说话 Vern? A moment.
有问题吗 Is there a problem?
废话 我对着那些小肥猪该干什么 Yes! What am I supposed to do with that petting zoo?
不是所有人都像你这样天生丽质 Not everyone wins the genetic lottery like you did.
那些女孩需要专家 These girls need help
引导她们挖掘属于自身的美丽和风格 finding the promised land of beauty and style.
拜托了 加布丽尔 Please, Gabrielle.
当她们的引路女神吧 Be their Moses.
谢谢你把我比作女神 Good comparison
要教会那些小笨蛋走秀 真需要神迹才行 because it's gonna take a miracle to turn these mutts into show dogs.
女孩们 我们谈谈美丽吧 Hey, girls. Let's talk beauty.
你怎么样啊 老兄 What's up, brother?
对不起 你是 I'm sorry. You are...?
卡洛斯 住在街尾 Carlos, from down the street.
我曾是你唯一的挚友 老兄 We were only best friends, dude.
那场意外以后 我的记忆有些模糊 Well, things have been a little fuzzy since the accident.
很抱歉 我没早点过来看你 I'm sorry that I hadn't come by sooner,
离婚把我搞得焦头烂额 but my divorce has been kicking my ass.
我很遗憾 Sorry to hear that.
总之 我找了个新公寓 Anyway, I got a new condo,
但是需要翻修一下 but it's getting renovated.
所以我想 能不能先在你这住几天 So I was thinking, maybe I could crash here?
这儿 Here?
是啊 Yeah.
我可以帮你打理房子 I could help you out around the house.
那样你就能集中精力做头等大事了 Free you up to focus on job one,
康复 getting better.
你现在把这些事都扔给伊迪了 对吧 Because you're tossing it to Edie now, right?
让你的女人打理家务 That's a real relationship killer,
那可是真正的爱情杀手啊 needing your lady to hoist you off the can.
你想住多久 How long we talking?
两个月吧 Couple months.
最多三个月 Three at the most.
当然了 我会负担一半房租和水电费 And of course, I can kick in for half the utilities and rent.
我怎么能拒绝我最好的哥们呢 Well, how can I say no to my best friend?
你会玩翻板吗 Can you do a kick-flip?
布雷克家的孩子 What are the Blake kids
怎么总来这玩呢 doing all the way over here?
帕姆要盯紧他们了 Pam needs to keep a closer eye on them.
拜托你不要一直站在窗边看行吗 Will you please come away from that window?
昨晚你几乎都没怎么睡 You barely slept last night.
过来小睡一会吧 Come on, take a nap.
我没事 没事 I'm fine. I'm fine.
等等 Hold on.
有事吗 Hey. What's up?
我想把这个还给你 I've been meaning to get this back to you.
谢谢了 And to thank you.
丽贝卡和我都很喜欢这个蛋糕 Rebecca and I really enjoyed the cake.
不错 Oh, good.
那 再见了 So... bye.
你觉得我家怎么样 So, what'd you think of our place?
什么 Sorry?
我听说你以前跟杨家关系很好 I heard you were good friends with the Young family.
看到那里面全是新家具肯定不习惯 It must've been weird being in there with all the new furniture.
我没太注意 I didn't notice.
那厨房呢 Well, how about the kitchen?
丽贝卡很喜欢那个颜色 Rebecca likes the color,
但我不敢苟同 but I'm not so sure.
抱歉 我只去过客厅 Oh, sorry. Never made it past the living room.
什么 得了吧 What? Come on.
你去的时候屋里没人 You're in an empty house,
加上对新邻居的好奇心 curious about your new neighbors,
你一定会四处转转的 you look around.
我们都这样 We all do it.
我不是 Well, I don't.
那你下次来的时候 Well, next time you're over
我带你参观一下 I'll have to give you the tour.
好啊 Great.
"保护侠"先生 Mr. Protector Man!
帕克 现在不方便 Hey, hey. Not now, Parker.
我就是想问问 I just wanted to see if I can
还能再玩他的弹球机吗 play his pinball machine again!
看来我没必要带你参观了 I guess there's no need for that tour.
女孩们 当务之急是 Girls, first things first.
如果你们走路姿势不好看 就不可能获胜 If you can't walk, you can't win.
来点音乐 韦恩 Hit it, Vern.
要牢记 目视前方 挺胸 提臀 Remember, eyes forward, shoulders back, hips square.
向左看 向右看 掉头往回走 Look left, look right, whip and walk.
是的 我就是这么魅力四射 把嘴闭上 Yes, I'm unbelievable. Close your mouths.
好了 都停下来 OK, stop, stop.
怎么了 What?
我目视前方了 也提臀了 My eyes were forward, my hips were square.
但你的自信呢 你的骄傲都去哪里了 But where's your confidence, where's your pride?
算了吧 我有什么可骄傲的 Come on. What do I have to be proud of?
你们见过除去盛装 Have you guys ever seen a runway model
卸下浓妆的T台模特吗 without the hot clothes and makeup?
相信我 她们也跟路人一样 Well, trust me, they're not that special.
但她们唯一不同的就是态度 But the one thing that they do have is attitude.
你们要对自己有信心 You have to believe in yourself.
如果还是不行 And if not,
就假装对自己有信心 行吗 pretend to believe in yourself, OK?
好了 All right.
现在你要想象自己在T台上 Now I want you to pretend you're on the runway.
无数的闪光点对着你 Flashbulbs are popping.
你万人瞩目 受人嫉妒 Everyone's looking at you, envying you,
他们都在想着同一件事 and they're all thinking the same thing:
伊莎贝拉·霍洛维兹太性感了 Isabel Horowitz is smoking hot!
大胆地走吧 伊莎贝拉 Go, Isabel! Go!
你做到了 伊莎贝拉 你做到了 You're doing it, Isabel, you're doing it!
就是这个感觉 继续走 That's it! Keep going!
我走了回秀 I was walking!
你就是走了场秀 干的漂亮 You were totally walking! Good job!
好 唐娜 下一个你来 All right, Donna, you're next.
好好表现 让我嫉妒你的美丽 Get up there and make me hate your beauty.
这个房子可是颗未经雕琢的美钻啊 Now, this place is a real diamond in the rough.
有两件小卧室加书房 A cozy little two-bedroom plus den
房主又急于出手 with a highly-motivated seller.
有只急于现身的蟑螂 Oh, look, a highly motivated cockroach.
让我们乐观一点吧 Let's try to be positive, people.
多好的地段啊 It's a fabulous location,
步行即可到达各式各样的商店 just walking distance to all sorts of fun shops.
对极了 从这我就能看见 Right, from here I can see
一个保释担保行和一家成人书店 a bail bondsman and an adult bookshop.
这个价位你还想找什么样的房子 What do you expect in your price range,
塔拉庄园吗 Tara?
我们走吧 谢谢你 Let's go. Thank you.
等下 Wait.
我不是那种不切实际的人 I'm not an impractical woman.
我知道我儿子的财力如何 I know that my son's resources are,
就像他的成就 相当有限 like his achievements, rather limited.
我想看看其他房间 I want to see the rest of it.
好的 OK.
厨房的灯有点扎眼 Now the lighting in the kitchen is a bit harsh.
因为之前那个房主 The previous owner...
这么说吧 Well, let's just say
他经营一些家庭式的医疗生意 he ran some sort of home-based medical business.
你不能让你妈住到这里来 You cannot let her move into this neighborhood.
这四处都是瘾君子和妓女 It's filled with junkies and whores!
那我们还得给他们道个歉 We'll owe them an apology.
谁管这么多啊 她喜欢就行 Who cares? She likes it.
她当然喜欢了 Of course she likes.
街对面就有一个24小时营业的酒屋 There's a 24-hour liquor store across the street.
她想要个房子 She wants a house.
我们要想不破产 只买得起这样的 This is the best we can afford without bankrupting ourselves.
奥森 万一她遇到什么意外怎么办 Orson, what if something should happen to her?
别为她担心了 担心一下我们吧 Stop worrying about her! Worry about us.
你记不记得她来以后我们吵过多少次架了 You realize how much we've fought since she came?
那女人毁了我每一段感情 The woman's ruined every relationship that's mattered to me,
现在她又故技重施了 and she's doing it again!
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
-你不要紧吧 -妈妈 - Are you all right? - Mother!
就是滑了一下 Just a little spill.
她的拐杖触到了一块松了的地砖 Her cane hit a loose tile.
有没有摔坏身子 Is anything broken?
都怪这个破地砖 Well, obviously the damn floor!
她搬来之前你们得修好 We'll need that fixed before she moves in.
你疯了吗 Are you insane?
她显然不能独自生活 She obviously can't be on her own.
不就是块松了的地砖吗 It's a loose tile.
我毫发未伤 I'm perfectly fine.
如果你有事呢 And what if you weren't?
万一她哪摔坏了 What if she'd broken something
躺在这里一动不动呢 and was lying here for hours?
你得跟我们回家 You are coming home with us.
布里 Bree.
以后我不想再听到这个话题了 And I will not hear another word on the subject.
你居然给我们买了披萨 I can't believe you bought us pizza.
你们应得的 Well, you guys earned it.
但是要快点吃 因为我们就剩一小时了 But eat fast because we only have one hour left,
我还要给你们介绍一位新朋友 and I want to introduce you to your new best friend,
美黑喷雾先生 Mr. Spray Tan.
你懂得真多 You know so much cool stuff.
以后你还来吗 Can't you come back another day?
不知道 Oh, I don't know.
-求你了 -你一定要来啊 - Please! - You have to!
那我看看日程表吧 Well, let me check my book.
可能要做下调整 I might have to move some stuff around,
但我想应该可以权衡好 but I think I can swing it.
你的生活一定多姿多彩吧 Your life must be so exciting, huh?
是啊 每天都像一场时装秀 Yeah. Every day's a parade.
当个名模的感觉如何 So, what was it like being a famous model?
说实话 跟其他工作没有不同 Honestly, it was like any other job,
除了报酬丰厚 except the pay was great,
衣服光鲜亮丽 the clothes were couture,
派对都是蛾摩拉城式的 and the parties were just this side of Gomorrah.
蛾摩拉：《圣经》中的"罪恶之城"
你们不知道蛾摩拉是什么意思吧 You don't know what Gomorrah means, do you?
很好 Good.
你认识凯特·莫斯吗 Did you know Kate Moss?
我曾经邀请过她参加派对 I invited her to a party once.
你有跟她一起吃披萨吗 Did you eat pizza with her?
如果有的话 那就当我们也跟她吃过了 If you did, it's almost like we ate pizza with her.
宝贝 大多数模特是不吃披萨的 Honey, most models don't eat pizza.
就算吃了 也会用手指抠着吐出来 At least not without having a finger for dessert.
真恶心 Gross!
我知道 所以我从不那么干 I know, I never did that.
你们都不敢相信 You would not believe
她们为了保持骨感做的那些可怕的事 the horrible things they did to stay skinny.
比如说 Like what?
有些会抽未过滤的法国烟 Well, some would smoke those unfiltered French cigarettes.
但吸烟会要了你的命 But cigarettes can kill you.
但在要命之前 会先破坏掉你的食欲 But before they do, they kill your appetite.
曾经还有个女孩吃了太多泻药 然后 One time, there was a girl who took too many laxatives and...
如果以后你们去住米兰别墅238房的话 If you're ever at the Chateau Milan, in room 238,
千万别用按摩浴缸 do not use the Jacuzzi.
为了当模特 必须保持骨感吗 Do you have to be skinny to be a model?
当然 你上一次看见胖子出现 Well, yeah. When's the last time
在杂志封面是什么时候 you saw a fat person on a magazine cover?
我要去跟韦恩讨论下堂课的内容了 Now I'm gonna talk to Vern about our next session.
等你们吃完午饭 我们就继续工作 You guys finish lunch, so we can get back to work.
嗨 鲁伯特 Hi, Rupert.
我去商场买了些周末换洗的衣服 I went to the mall and bought a change of clothes for the weekend,
也给你买了东西 and while I was there I got something for you.
我想你休息的时候可以穿 I thought you could wear it on your day off.
喜欢吗 Do you like it?
太喜欢了 Very much.
如果我哪天忘记自己国籍的话 那就会派上用场的 It'll come in handy, should my nationality ever slip my mind.
你真幽默 That's good.
你 我都想跟你去派对了 You! I wanna party with you.
下午我还在想 Hey, I was thinking this afternoon
我们是不是能去找一个抽屉了 maybe we could go look for that drawer.
抱歉 女士 恐怕我得把这些银器擦完 Sorry, ma'am, I'm afraid I have all this silver to polish.
我来帮你 还能聊聊天 Well, let me help you and we can talk.
我很想好好了解下你 There is so much I want to know about you.
鲁伯特·卡维纳是谁 Who is Rupert Cavanaugh?
他是怎样一个人 What makes him tick?
听着 Tell you what.
我去给你找个抽屉 Let's go find you that drawer.
主卧不是在那边吗 Isn't the master bedroom down that way?
我觉得那有点远 I realize it's a bit of a jaunt,
不过我帮你找了一整个衣橱 but I managed to find you an entire bureau.
好吧 不错 Oh, OK. Well.
其实没必要那么...麻烦 You certainly didn't have to go to all that... trouble.
有问题吗 Is there a problem?
没有 我只是 No. I just...
我就要一个小 小抽屉就行 Well, all I really needed was just a little, little drawer,
这有点太远 而且... and this is so far away and...
什么味道 What is that smell?
是有味 关于这个问题 Oh, yes, about that.
有只猫死在了这里 The cat passed away in this room.
你没想过把尸体移走吗 Did you consider removing the body?
如果你不能接受这里 Well, if this isn't acceptable,
我就再给你找一个抽屉 I can look elsewhere for a drawer,
得等我有空的时候 when I have the time.
你为什么要这么对我 Why do you have to be this way?
我怎么对你了 And what way is that?
我知道你对简的感情 Listen, I know how you feel about Jane.
但你能不能给我一个机会 But if you could just give me a chance.
你不该这么讨厌我 对吗 Come on, you can't possibly hate me this much. Can you?
我走了 I'm done.
好吧 好吧 好吧 Oh, fine. Fine, fine, fine.
我不奢望你喜欢我 I don't need you to like me.
但我就想你给我一点尊重 But I think you should give me just a little respect.
我是伊恩的女朋友 I am Ian's girlfriend.
他还没离婚 He's still married.
你充其量就是他的情妇 At best, you're his... mistress.
不准你那么称呼我 OK. You are not allowed to call me that.
好吧 那你喜欢哪个词呢 Fine. What term would you prefer?
二奶 炮友 还是傍大款的鸡 Concubine? Consort? Gold-digging whore?
对不起 Oh, I'm so sorry.
我不该打你 I shouldn't have done that.
但是鲁伯特 你得承认 But, Rupert, you have to admit,
只是一个抽屉的事 it's just a drawer.
那些抽屉放的都是简的衣物 Those drawers are filled with Jane's things.
这里是她的家 This is her house.
你不过是她的房客而已 You are a guest in her house,
还是个暂时的 and a temporary one at best.
好吧 那得由伊恩决定 OK, you know, that is for Ian to decide.
他早就决定了 Oh, he has decided.
不然他为什么没跟我提起过你 Why do you think he never told me about you?
为什么你们认识那么久 他才带你回来 Why did he wait so long to bring you here?
他是不想你出现在那间房里 He didn't want you in that room...
简的东西都摆在那里 ...where he still keeps Jane's things
跟她离开的时候一模一样 exactly as she left them.
不过我会继续给你找抽屉的 But I'll keep looking for that drawer.
我去趟麦克家 I'm going over to Mike's.
我还以为你要去修剪草坪呢 I thought you were gonna mow the lawn.
我会剪的 I know.
不过我答应了帮他安装浴室把手 It's just that I promised I'd help him install a shower bar.
那可能要花点时间 And... it could take a while.
好吧 OK.
汤霸王 他们怎么样啊 兄弟 T-Rex. How're they hanging, brother?
速度很慢 跑动也不积极 Low and lazy. Yeah.
如果勒奈特问起今天的事 Hey, if Lynette asks?
你就说我来装浴室把手了 I installed your shower bar today.
明白 Got it.
韦恩 你来干嘛 Vern, what are you doing here?
找你谈谈 We need to talk.
是说教那些女孩化妆的事吗 About the girls' makeup?
我给她们每人准备了一个化妆包 I got them each their own makeup kit,
特意选了适合她们肤色的彩妆 custom-tailored to match their skin tone.
我还给梅丽娜买了脱毛蜜蜡 And I got Melina some wax.
我知道她才11岁 I know she's only 11,
但她的希腊基因现在就体现出来了 but those Greek genes are gonna kick in any day now.
怎么了 What?
今早上海耶斯太太发现唐娜 This morning Mrs. Hayes caught Donna
正在用手指抠喉咙 with her finger down her throat
想把吃下去的早餐吐出来 trying to barf up her toaster waffle.
真的吗 Really?
而霍洛维兹太太发现 And Mrs. Horowitz found
伊莎贝拉躲在她家的车库里吸烟 Isabel behind their garage smoking.
她认为吸烟能帮她减肥 She thought cigarettes would help her lose a few pounds.
她从哪学的这招 Where do you think she got that idea?
都是可恶的烟草公司 Those damn tobacco companies.
加布 Gabby!
好吧 我是跟她们讲过一点往事 Oh, fine, I may have told a few stories about the old days,
但都是作为警告讲的 but as a warning.
我没跟那些孩子说过任何少儿不宜的话题 I didn't say anything inappropriate for kids.
凯西·沃伦问她妈能不能 Cassie Warren asked her mother if she could
让她举办一个"蛾摩拉"派对 throw a Gomorrah party.
好吧 我们得控制一下局面了 OK, look, we have to do damage control.
我懂了 I get it.
下堂课 我会向所有妈妈道歉的 Next session, I'll apologize to all the moms.
你没有下堂课了 There's not gonna be a next session for you.
那些母亲不希望你再接近她们的孩子 The moms don't want you anywhere near their daughters.
可我是在帮她们啊 她们喜欢我 But I'm helping them! They love me!
等下 韦恩 拜托你给我个补救的机会吧 Wait, please, Vern, you have to give me a chance to fix this!
太晚了 加布 It's too late, Gabby.
你现在完全成了反面教材 You are now officially a bad influence.
踩单车课上见 Well, see you at spin class.
妈妈说我们不能走开 Mom said we couldn't leave.
我就在房前转转 I'm just going out front.
什么玩意啊 What the hell is that?
别总拿着球啊 Stop running the ball!
我能问你们点事吗 Can I ask you guys something?
我出事之前是什么样的 What was I like before the accident?
你具体什么意思 What do you mean?
我意思是 我是哪种人 I mean, what kind of guy was I?
是快乐的 还是易怒的 Was I happy, was I angry?
我以前使用过暴力吗 Did I ever get violent?
你很好 You were fine.
我是认真的 Look, I'm serious.
我真的很想知道 I really need to know.
有什么尽管说 你们都是我的好朋友 You can be honest. You're my best friend.
真要老实说吗 Honestly?
你总是神神秘秘的 什么事都憋在心里 You were sort of mysterious. Kept to yourself.
没有人真正了解你 Nobody really knew you all that well.
没错 Yeah.
这就是你好朋友的观点 And this is coming from your best friend.
好好 加油 太棒了 Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yes!
不好意思 我 I'm sorry, guys. I just...
我想是我太累了 I guess I was really tired.
-你弟弟呢 -他出去了 - Where's your brother? - He went outside.
是的 Yeah.
看着她 看着她 OK. Watch her, watch her.
我马上就回来 I'll be back. I'll be right back.
有人吗 开门 快开门 Hello!Open up, open the door!
勒奈特 怎么了 Lynette, what's the matter?
-我找我儿子 -他不在这里 - I want my son. - He's not here.
他不在家里 也没在院子里 He's not in our house, he's not in our yard.
别糊弄我 帕克 Do not jerk me around. Parker!
你不能就这么闯进来 勒奈特 You can't just barge into my house like this, Lynette.
别跟我装傻 Don't play dumb with me.
我知道下面有什么见不得人的东西 I know exactly what is down here!
弹球机哪去了 那些游戏机呢 Where's the pinball? All the games?
那些都是我为儿童医院收集的 That was a collection I was taking up for the children's hospital.
我昨天都运走了 I delivered everything yesterday.
你把那些照片也捐了吗 Did you donate the photos too?
帕克 Parker!
你到底想指责我什么 What exactly is it you're accusing me of?
别装傻了 Don't pretend you don't know.
我要报警 I'm calling the police.
帕克 Parker!
有什么问题吗 Is there a problem?
问题大了 我儿子不见了 You're damn right there's a problem. I can't find my son.
那个是不是你儿子 Isn't that your son?
你们去哪了 Where have you been?
麦克家啊 他溜达过来找我的 We were at Mike's. He wandered over looking for me.
怎么了 What's going on?
儿童医院打来的 That was the children's hospital.
阿特的话被证实了 Art's story checks out.
他确实捐过那些东西 He donated all that stuff.
那也证明不了什么 That proves nothing.
他知道我盯上了他 所以不得不捐 He knew I was on to him, he had to dump it.
亲爱的 相信我跟你是一条心的 Honey, believe me, I am with you.
那个家伙肯定有猫腻 There is something fishy about this guy,
但你要学会控制自己 but you got to get a grip.
不能就那样闯入别人的家 You can't go barging into people's homes.
-万一帕克在里面呢 -可他不在 - What if Parker had been in there? - But he wasn't.
如果你还继续无凭无据地指责他 And if you keep accusing this guy without proof,
他可以起诉我们的 he can sue us.
听我说 我一直在想 Listen, I've been thinking
你经历过那些事后 that after everything that you've been through...
不要再提超市那件事 Please don't bring up the supermarket again.
那是个创伤性事件 That was a traumatic experience.
我认为那事对你的影响 比你想象的要大 I think it's affected you more than you realize.
也许你需要找个人倾诉 And maybe you need to talk to somebody about it.
比如说 心理医生 Like a therapist.
你说的有道理 You're right.
我是该找个人倾诉 I need to talk to someone.
他转移了一切证据 He'd gotten rid of everything.
玩具 照片 所有东西都不见了 The toys, the pictures, everything was gone.
你不能这样坐视不理 勒奈特 You can't sit on this, Lynette.
我知道 I know.
如果谁家的孩子出了意外 If something happened to someone's kid
就因为我牙关紧闭 because I kept my mouth shut...
事实上我答应了汤姆不管这件事了 The thing is, I promised Tom I'd back off.
可我没保证过 Well, I didn't.
简的衣服都很美 Jane has some beautiful things.
是的 她一直都有不俗的品味 Yes, she's always had impeccable taste.
我知道你一定会介怀 I know how it must seem to you,
我还保留着这些东西 my holding on to them.
我只是不能让自己去 But I just couldn't bring myself to...
我懂 I get it.
尽管我一直假装沉浸在你我的二人世界里 As much as I have tried to pretend that it's just you and me,
但其实这段关系里一直都是三个人 there's three of us in this relationship.
苏珊 你知道我喜欢你 Susan, you know I adore you.
不 请听我说完 No, please listen.
过去的几个月里 The last couple of months,
我一度以为我们很亲密 I thought we've gotten really close,
而我也很喜欢那种感觉 and I've been loving that.
但最近 我觉得 I just feel like, lately,
你还是没有对我完全敞开心扉 there's this limit to how far you'll let me in.
我正在努力 Well, I'm trying.
只是你离我的心越近 It's just the more I let you into my heart,
我就觉得把简推得越远 还有 the more I feel I'm pushing Jane out, and...
你不必为了让我走近而把简推远 You don't have to push Jane out to let me in.
好吧 你说得对 Of course, you're right.
知道我在想什么吗 Do you know what I think?
不 No.
你的悲悯之心值得 That kind of compassionate wisdom deserves
奖励一顿饕餮盛宴 an obscenely expensive meal.
好 等我一会 OK, well, give me a minute,
我去换件体面点的衣服 and I will change into something nice.
鲁伯特还没给你找个抽屉 Rupert still hasn't found you a drawer?
没 现在还没 No, not just yet.
那样的话 Well, in that case...
伊恩 你不必这样做 Ian, you don't have to do that.
如果我的心里能容下你们两人的位置 If I can make room in my heart for both of you,
当然衣柜里也可以 I can certainly make room in my bureau.
现在这样可不行 你妈午餐也没吃 It's just not right. Your mother skipped lunch too.
她说了她不饿 She said she wasn't hungry.
她不在 我们吃我们的就好了 Can't we just revel in her absence?
我知道她很麻烦 I know she's a handful,
但是也要给她点同情心 but she deserves some compassion.
她昨天眼睁睁地看着梦想破灭了 The woman watched a dream die yesterday.
我们何尝不是 We all did.
我把她的晚饭端上去 I'm taking her dinner up.
没事 我来吧 Oh, it's OK. I'll do it.
不用 我亲自去吧 No, no, I'd rather do it myself.
我想和她谈谈 I want to talk to her.
我去跟她说一声你要来 Oh, well, I'll let her know you're coming.
我妈要来了 快把酒瓶丢掉 Mom's coming. Ditch the wine.
很好 Very well.
你一瓶都喝完了 You finished the whole bottle already?
我太渴了 I was thirsty.
葛罗莉娅 我在想... Gloria, I've been thinking and...
这家里的人都没有敲门的习惯吗 Does no one in this house ever bother to knock?
那是酒吗 Is that alcohol?
你从哪弄的 Where did you get that?
安德鲁 Andrew!
奶奶眼含泪花的让我帮个忙 When my grandma asks me a favor, with tears in her eyes,
我怎么能 how can...?
闭嘴吧 你个小强盗 Oh, shut up, you little extortionist.
他收了我20美元 He charged me 20 bucks,
外加5美元的开瓶器钱 plus five for the corkscrew!
等会再跟你算账 I'll deal with you later.
你永远别想得到那可待因了[药物] You can kiss that codeine goodbye.
安德鲁给她弄的酒 Andrew brought her wine.
看在上帝的份上 Oh, for God's sake.
这是我们的家 This is our house.
如果你还想赖在这里 If you expect to stay here,
就要学学守规矩了 you're going to learn to obey a few rules.
我不需要守规矩 我制定规矩 I don't obey rules. I make them!
再也不可能了 妈妈 Not anymore, Mother.
顾着你自己吧 阳光男孩 Just watch yourself, sunny boy!
我知道你很不爽 OK, look. I know you're upset,
但不要责怪奥森 不是他的错 but don't blame Orson. It's not his fault.
全是他的错 It's all his fault!
你认为他无可挑剔 You think he's so wonderful.
但他做的那些事 你连一半都不知道 You don't know the half of what he's done.
走吧 她这个样子 我实在没法面对她 Let's go. I can't deal with her when she's like this.
他是不想让你知道真相 He doesn't want you to hear the truth.
他是怎么背叛阿尔玛的 How he cheated on Alma!
什么 What?
她在耍酒疯 She's drunk!
他是怎么伤透了她的心 还有我的 How he broke her heart, and mine!
一切都是为了他心爱的莫妮可 All for his precious Monique!
你闭嘴吧 妈妈 You shut up, Mother!
莫妮可·波利耶 Monique Polier?
她不是哈维·比格斯比的情妇吗 I thought that was Harvey Bigsby's mistress.
那女孩睡得男人太多了 Oh, she got around, that girl!
我跟你说过了 我说过她会来这招的 See, I told you. I told you she would do this!
他当年一直背着阿尔玛在外偷腥 There he was, cheating on Alma,
却不知道 那小情妇也一直在背叛他 not knowing all the time his whore was cheating on him.
住嘴 赶紧闭上你这张邪恶的嘴 Stop it! You shut your evil mouth!
不然呢 Or what?
你要拿我怎么样 What are you gonna do to me
你该用的手段不都用过了吗 that hasn't already been done?
布里 布里 布里 不要 Bree... Bree. Bree, no.
布里 等等 布里 Bree, wait! Bree!
今天穿的最好看 ... had the cutest outfit today!
我知道 我看见了 真是太可爱了 I know. I saw it.It was so adorable.
-那裙子 -我知道 - The skirt... - I know.
-加布丽尔小姐 -加布丽尔 - Miss Gabrielle! - Gabrielle!
她来这干嘛 What is she doing here?
不知道 我跟她说过不要来了 I have no idea. I told her she was banned.
就给我几分钟 OK, just give me a minute.
我很抱歉跟孩子们说了那些事情 I'm sorry about what I said to the girls.
以后绝不会再发生了 And it won't happen again.
太对了 Damn right.
你以后绝没机会靠近我们的孩子了 You're not going anywhere near our girls.
就不能再给我个机会吗 Can't you give me a second chance?
为什么 Why should we?
是啊 你啪啪地走进来 Yeah, I mean, you walk in here all clickety-clack,
一丝赘肉都没有的完美小姐 perfect little miss size zero,
觉得自己什么都比我们强 thinking you're all better than us.
你那副表情就写在脸上 我们都看见了 We all saw the look on your face when you showed up.
我没觉得自己比你们强 I don't think I'm better than you.
相反的 我嫉妒你们 Hell, I envy you.
得了吧 Please.
不 我说的是事实 No, it's true.
你们有家庭 有丈夫 You have husbands and families
每天清晨都有起床的动力 and a reason to wake up in the morning.
我有什么 他吗 What do I have? Him!
让你们的女儿变得自信和时尚 Teaching your kids about confidence and beauty
是我做过最有意义的事了 is the most useful thing I've done since...
不知什么时候起 I don't know when.
尽管我帮到她们许多 And as much as I've helped them,
她们帮到我的却更多 they've helped me so much more.
所以拜托了 我需要这份工作 So please, I need this.
而且我保证 And I promise,
不再说那些投机取巧的减肥方法了 no more talk about dodgy weight loss methods.
比如最有效的 Like the highly-effective
美国药监局没有批准的减肥药 non-FDA-approved diet pill
我可以从苏黎世的朋友那弄到 I can get from my friends in Zurich...
一大批 ...in bulk.
我认为基督教义会原谅她的 Well, I suppose the Christian thing would be to forgive her.
要不你们商量一下 Well, why don't you ladies talk it over
我继续给她们上形体课 and I'm gonna work on posture with the girls.
太好了 开始吧 Yeah! Come on.
开始了 出发 Come on, you guys, let's go!
太好了 Yes!
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
我开车找了你整整一晚上 I've been driving around all night, looking for you.
我们结婚的那晚 在太平间看见了那个女人 We saw that woman at the morgue on our wedding night.
你却装作不认识她 You pretended not to know her.
布里 我可以解释 Bree, I can explain.
不 我不想听了 No. I'm done.
你不知道发生过什么事 You don't understand what happened.
在我之前 你生命中出现过两个女人 There were two women in your life before me.
一个失踪了 一个被杀了 One vanished, the other was killed.
我知道这些就够了 That's all I need to understand.
我给你收拾了些东西 I've packed some of your things.
希望你离开我的家 I want you out of the house.
立刻 Now.
布里 求你 Bree... please.
我爱你 I love you.
我知道 I know.
但那让我恐惧万分 But it scares the hell out of me.
危险人物就潜伏在我们身边 Dangerous men walk among us.
但我们通常不确定他们是谁 And we can't always be sure of who they are
或者他们隐藏着什么秘密 or what secrets they hide.
但是当最坏的想法被证实 But once our worst suspicions are confirmed,
我们就能采取行动 we can take action.
一旦他们的意图暴露 Once their agendas are revealed,
我们就能采取措施保护自己 we can take steps to protect ourselves
以及那些我们爱的人 and those we love.
没错 危险人物会造成巨大的伤害 Yes, dangerous men can cause great harm.
但有时候这种巨大的伤害 But sometimes the greatest danger they pose...
交给我吧 I'll take those.
往往是对他们自己 ... is to themselves.