《绝望的主妇》 前情提要 Previously on...
我看不到我们的未来 难道我们 Does this relationship have a future? Can't we just keep
不能像现在这样吗 杰克逊离开了 going the way we are? Jackson left.
奥森又对我撒谎了 布里作出了决定 Orson's lying to me again. Bree made a decision.
我想我得和他离婚 卡尔出现了 So I think I have to divorce him. Karl signed up.
卡尔 你在这里做什么 Karl, what are you doing here?
我来给伊万报名 Well, I just enrolled Evan.
苏珊承认了过错 麦克和我遇到了交通事故 Wow. And Susan confessed. Mike and I got in a car accident.
是麦克开的车对吧 我们是这样对外界说的 Mike was driving, right? That's what we said,
但不是真的 他做了替罪羊 but it wasn't true. He took the blame for me.
在这条街上 On this street,
议价始于清晨 the bargaining begins at sunrise...
老人大方付报童小费 An old woman offers a paperboy a generous tip
条件是他要将报纸扔进她的门廊 if he'll throw the paper onto her porch...
妻子告诉丈夫 她会为他准备可口的晚饭 A wife tells her husband she'll make his favorite dinner
前提是他送她玫瑰 if he'll bring home roses...
一个男人告诉他的邻居 除非她管理好草坪 A man tells his neighbor he'll take in his garbage cans
他才会好好收拾他的垃圾桶 the day she finally mows her lawn.
是的 在紫藤郡 Yes, on Wisteria Lane,
人人都知道如何讨价还价 everyone knows how to bargain...
每一个人 Absolutely everyone.
我不想吃麦片粥 我能吃煎饼吗? I don't want oatmeal. Can I have pancakes?
伙计 凯瑟琳不接受点菜 Katherine's not a short order cook, buddy.
早餐她做麦片粥 我们就吃麦片粥 If she made oatmeal for breakfast, we're having oatmeal.
M.J. 如果你吃掉一半 I tell you what, M.J. If you finish just half of it,
我会在你的外宿聚会上做蜜饯苹果 I will make candied apples for your sleepover.
我喜欢蜜饯苹果 她放了你一马 你该感谢她 I love candy apples. She's letting you off easy. You should thank her.
凯瑟琳 谢谢你 Thank you, Katherine.
小不点 不用谢 You are so welcome, you sweet thing.
爸爸 你会娶凯瑟琳吗? Dad, are you gonna marry Katherine?
这个问题... Um... That's, um...
我不知道 I don't know.
为什么 Why not?
嗯 因为我们还没有谈到结婚 Oh, well, oh, because we haven't talked about marriage.
为什么 Why not?
M.J. 你太没有礼貌了 M.j., you're being rude.
哦 没有冒犯我 Oh, I'm not offended.
你愿意娶凯瑟琳吗? Don't you wanna marry Katherine?
我很爱她 Well... I love her.
她的确很棒 She's absolutely fantastic.
那为什么你不娶她呢 So why don't you marry her?
帮我一把吧 Can you help me out here?
你在开玩笑吧 Are you kidding?
伙计 谈到结婚 Buddy, um, when it comes to marriage,
事实上 the truth is...
哦 看看时间 我快迟到了 Wow. Would you look at the time? I'm late for work.
我们以后再谈 We're gonna have to talk about this later.
胆小鬼 对 我就是 Coward. You got that right.
我做的怎么样 很棒 How'd I do? You were great.
但他并没有回答我 没关系 迟早会的 But he didn't answer me. Doesn't matter. Issue's on the table.
在这条街上 Yes, on this street,
谈判在日出便开始了 the negotiating begins at sunrise,
而且它不会结束 and it doesn't end...
这是我承诺的冰淇淋 Here's the ice cream I promised you.
除非人们得到了他们想要的 Until someone gets exactly what they want.
沃尔特·卑尔根是一名离婚律师 Walter Bergen was a divorce lawyer,
女人们付钱给他 总会向他数落 and the women who hired him always had something to say
那些和她们离婚的男人们的缺点 about the men they were divorcing.
他总爱提起他的外婆 He's always talking to his grandmother,
她都死了6年了 who died six years ago.
他把钱全花在妓女上 He spends all his money on hookers,
哦 说不定是男妓 who may or may not be women.
他说他需要为孩子们花更多的钱 He says he needs more money for the children,
他说的孩子 and by "children,"
其实是赛马 I mean racehorses.
沃尔特·卑尔根认为他已经身经百战 Yes, Walter Bergen thought he had heard it all
直到一天 他的一位客户说 until the day when one of his clients actually said...
我的丈夫是位绅士 我希望他能得到一些好处 My husband is a decent man, and I want to do right by him.
我的客户很少有像你这样的 Hmm. Women who seek my services rarely take that attitude.
我认为自己是一个好人 Well, I like to think of myself as a good person.
你的确是 I'm sure you are.
我不会担心你的丈夫 And I wouldn't worry about your husband.
他将会得到宴会承包公司收入中 The income he'll derive
一半的财产 也就是 from his half of the catering business alone should...
等等 我并不打算给他一半 Wait. I'm not planning on giving him half.
这是我的事业 It's my business.
但这是你婚后的事业 Which you started after you were married.
他理应得到一半 That entitles him to half.
当我说他是一名绅士 I-I may have overstated things
或许我言过其实了 when I described my husband as a decent man.
其实他有不少的心理疾病 He actually has a wide variety of psychological problems.
霍吉太太 这是法律 你指望我说什么呢 Mrs. Hodge, it's state law. What do you want me to say?
你一小时收300美金 I want you to say that for $300 an hour,
应该懂得钻法律的空子 使些诡计 you have some lawyer tricks up your sleeve
来帮我保住我的事业吧 to help me protect my business.
你确定不是叫我去犯罪? Surely you're not asking me to do something criminal?
霍吉太太 你刚刚不是说 Mrs. Hodge, didn't you say
你自认为自己是一个好人吗 you like to think of yourself as a good person?
当然 但我更认为自己 Well, clearly, I like to think of myself
是一个有钱人 as a rich person even more.
哦 满堂红 Oh! Full house.
布里高分 加布低分 本局两位平分 Bree takes the high. Gaby gets the low. Split the pot.
我讨厌平分 Oh, I hate splitting the pot.
的确 这是规则 你也没办法 Well, that's the rule. There's nothing you can do about it.
所以不要抱怨了 你怎么能对我这么跟我说话 So stop bitching. Well, you can't talk to me like that.
我可是美景镇年度最佳拉美商人的老婆 I am the wife of Fairview's latino businessman of the year.
他最后赢了 是吗 Hey! So he finally won?
是啊 他们将举办一个大型宴会 Yeah. There's gonna be a huge dinner,
我们会和市长夫妇合影 and we're taking a picture with the mayor and his wife.
不太可能 我听说他们在办离婚 Oh, not necessarily. I hear they're getting divorced,
会很难看的 真的吗 你怎么知道的 and it's gonna get ugly. Really? How do you know?
她太太雇了 The wife hired
镇上最卑鄙 最没有职业道德的婚姻律师 the sleaziest, most unethical divorce lawyer in town.
是谁? Oh. Who... who's that?
我的前任 My ex-husband.
哦 对了 卡尔是离婚律师 Oh, right. Karl's a divorce lawyer.
还是个敲诈狂 Yeah, and a total shark.
我们离婚最失败的就是 The worst thing about our divorce
我不能雇他帮我辩护 was that I couldn't hire him to represent me.
我以为你们离婚前就已经平分所有的东西 和卡尔 当然不只是这样 But I thought you just split everything done the middle. Oh, not with Karl.
当时 他找遍了所有的漏洞和隐形资产 By the time he's done finding loopholes and hiding assets,
确定的确是没有什么可以分的了 there's nothing left to split.
不会吧 You don't say.
女士们 Hey, ladies.
嗯 勒奈特 Uh, Lynette, ahem.
已经不早了 It's getting kinda late.
汤姆 你在赶我们走吗? 不 不 只是在提醒勒奈特 Are you kicking us out, Tom? Uh, no. No, just reminding Lynette
还有十分钟就到半夜了 that it's, uh, ten minutes till midnight,
也是说还有十分钟就是明天了 which means ten minutes till tomorrow.
我知道了 我很快就上去 I got it. I'll be right up.
你们在说什么 What was that about?
汤姆和我在看一本书 书中提议 Tom and I are reading this book that suggests
夫妻制定一月里每晚都做爱的协定 couples make a pact to have sex every night for a month.
我猜猜 是男人写的吧? 一个叫卡洛斯·索利斯的家伙 Let me guess. Written by a guy? Was his name Carlos Solis?
我们之间出现了不少问题 We've been having some problems,
这个理论能创造亲密感 拉近夫妻距离 so the theory is it creates intimacy and brings you closer.
有用吗 Is it working?
我想还行 I've gotta say it is.
你们会更加和谐 You become more attuned to each other's needs
会更敏感于 勒奈特 and more sensitive to... Lynette!
天哪! 马上 Jeez! Two seconds!
我们应该走了 不 我们连续做了三周了 我知道如何速战速决 We... we should go. No, we're in our third week. We got this down to a science.
你们先玩 我马上回来 Just deal me out a few hands.
胡安妮塔 抓紧时间 校车快到了 Juanita, hurry up. The bus will be here any minute.
马上就来 Be right down!
这里还有一块肉桂土司 There's an extra piece of cinnamon toast on the table.
我饱了 再见 Not hungry. Bye!
苏珊 我是大卫 Susan? It's Dave.
还记得我告诉你 我有个朋友 Hey, remember I was telling you about my buddy
在巴斯湖有条船吗 that owns that boat on bass lake?
他这周不用 Yeah, well, he's not using it this weekend,
所以我想或许我可以带你和M.J.去钓鱼 so I thought maybe I'd take you and M.J. Fishing.
我知道这显得太仓促了 Yeah, I know it's short notice,
但是我真的想感谢你 but I really wanted to do something to thank you.
自从伊迪过世后你一直很关心我 You've been so good to me since Edie died.
另外我想M.J.一定很喜欢 Plus I know M.J. Would love it.
太好了 我很期待 Great. I'm really looking forward to it.
再见 Bye.
喂 Hello?
你好 哈迪校长 有什么事吗? Oh, hi, principal Hardy. What's up?
她化了什么 She's wearing what?
立刻进去 把脸上东西洗掉 Now march in there and wipe that stuff off!
你没必要对我大吼大叫的 你知不知道 You don't have to yell. Yes, I do. Do you have any idea
今早我接到电话时有多尴尬 how humiliating it was for me to get that call today?
现在镇上的每个家长都会以为 Now every parent in town is gonna think
是我让一个只有6岁的姑娘化了妆去上学的 that I let my 6-year-old wear makeup to school!
把我的化妆品还给我 And I want my makeup back.
在书包里吗? Is it in here?
你怎么会有这个? Why do you have this?
胡安妮塔 Juanita.
我想和你一样 I was trying to look like you.
为什么 Why?
同学们看见你昨天去接我 Some girls at school saw you pick me up yesterday
她们都说我是你领养的 and told me I must be adopted.
她们说我一点也不像是你的女儿 They said I wasn't pretty enough to be your daughter.
麦克卢斯基夫人 感觉怎么样了 How's it feeling, Mrs. McCluskey?
一阵阵的痛 我们得快点 I-It's really throbbing. Oh, please hurry.
好的 Okay.
嗨 Hi there.
杰克逊 你回来了 Jackson, hey. You're back.
我得和你谈谈 I needed to talk to you.
为什么不打电话 Why didn't you call?
我想给你个惊喜 I wanted to surprise you.
你做到了 Well, you did.
对 Ahem. Oh, uh, right.
杰克逊 你还记得麦克卢斯基夫人吧 Jackson, you remember Mrs. McCluskey, don't you?
当然记得 麦克卢斯基夫人 你好吗 Sure. How are you, Mrs. McCluskey?
谢谢关心 我只是痛苦难忍 Oh, I'm in agonizing pain. Thanks for asking.
我带她去看医生 医生帮她检查一下 I'm taking her to the doctor so he can perform a little procedure.
他会给我屁股上的疖子开个口 He's gonna Lance a boil on my backside.
它可能随时都会撕裂 It may rupture any second.
好的 Okay.
我该走了 I just had my car detailed, so I should probably go.
没问题 No problem.
我什么时候能看到你 Uh, when can I see you?
明晚一起吃晚饭 怎么样 Um... How about dinner tomorrow night?
好主意 Sounds great.
如果你们还继续盯着对方看 If you two want to keep staring at each other,
我不介意躺在草坪里 I can just go lay down on the lawn and die.
然后死去 I don't mind.
明天见 I'll see you tomorrow.
卡尔 Karl.
麦克 我听说M.J.要举办聚会 Hey, Mike. Heard M.J.'S having a sleepover.
我想你能帮我争取一个邀请吗? I thought I'd hit you up for an invitation.
你会不会老了点 来参加小孩子的聚会 Aren't you a little old for sleepovers?
摊牌吧 我需要你的帮助 Cards on the table. I need your help.
伊万是班上唯一没有被邀请的 Evan's one of the only boys in class who wasn't invited,
他很难过 and he's really upset.
好的 我也摊牌吧 M.J.说他不喜欢伊万 Okay, cards on the table. M.J. Says Evan's a bully,
他不想他来参加聚会 and he doesn't want him at his sleepover.
我保证他会好好表现的 Well, what if I promise Evan will be on his best behavior?
抱歉 我不能做主 M.J.已经确定了客人名单 I'm sorry. It's out of my hands. M.J. Finalized his guest list.
你应该再核对一下名单 Well, I think if you check that list again,
你会注意到伊万的名字在上面了 you'll notice Evan's name's on there.
我是M.J.的爸爸 I'm M.J.'S dad,
不是他的保镖 not his bouncer.
但.. But...
谢谢 Thanks.
亲爱的 怎么样? Hey, honey. How's your day going?
很棒 我刚从食品杂货店回来 Very exciting. Just got back from the grocery store.
今天可以使用双份优惠券 就像是奥斯卡和 It is double coupon day, sorta like the oscars
橄榄球超级杯大赛二合一的化身 and the super bowl all rolled into one.
你记得帮我买 Did you remember to get my, um...
芳香剂了吗? My special deodorant?
当然记得 I sure did.
我老婆的腋下要用无铅的 Milady's armpits will be aluminum-free.
你今天过得怎么样 我忙得一塌糊涂 How is your day? I'm totally slammed, which is why I'm calling.
所以我今晚可能会很晚回家 It looks like I'm gonna be here late tonight,
很晚的意思是午夜过后 and by "late," I mean past midnight.
等等 我们有约在先 Wait. W-What about our pact?
我们可以明天补上 勒奈特 我期待一整天了 We'll... double up tomorrow. Lynette, I have been looking forward to this all day.
我知道 我真的很抱歉 我得挂了 I know, and I'm really sorry. Listen, I gotta go.
我待会打给你 我爱你 再见 I will call you later. I love you. Bye.
汤姆 你来这干嘛 你还好吗 Tom. What are you doing here? Is everything all right?
一切都好 Everything's fine.
那你来这里 Well, then what are you doing...
干什么? Here?
不 Oh, no.
你疯了吗 Are you crazy?
宝贝 为你疯狂 Crazy about you, baby.
我有好多事要做 But I have so much to do,
恐怕得做到凌晨两点 and I'm not gonna be done till 2:00 A.M.
可能3点 Possibly 3:00.
拜托 这很重要 记得书上说的吗? Whoo! Come on. This is important. Remember what the book said?
没有借口 每晚都要做 Every night, no matter what.
但这真的不是时候 No, this is a really bad time for me. Mm.
看在你帮我买了芳香剂 Well, you did buy me that deodorant. Ooh!
勒奈特 卡洛斯在2号线上 Mmm. Mmm. Lynette, I have Carlos on line two.
告诉他我一会回他 Uh, tell him I'll call right back.
他说情况紧急 Mm. He says it's really important.
喂? Hello?
勒奈特 我和总部的顾问在一起 Hey, Lynette. I'm over here at capital consultants,
他们有问题 我需要你说一下账目情况 and the guys have a question.
现在吗 我有点忙 I need you to pull up their account. Now? I'm kind of busy!
广告在中午前就得做出来 对 就是现在 Well, the ad has to be at the printer's by noon, so yeah, now. Mwah. Mmm.
勒奈特? Lynette?
勒奈特! Lynette!
呃? Yes?
发生什么了 你还好吗 What's going on? You all right?
不好意思 有个杂工在工作 不过他已经搞定了 Sorry. Just had the handyman in here, but he's finished.
谢谢你 Thank you, handyman.
不客气 女士 You're welcome, ma'am.
卡洛斯... So... Carlos...
说到哪儿了? Where were we?
喝点什么吗? 不用了 我不喝酒 Could I get you something? No, thanks, I don't drink.
哦 对 Oh, that's right.
我想起来了 Glug glug. I remember now.
我是给你带生意来了 别对我无礼 I'm bringing you business, Karl. Try not to insult me.
抱歉 Sorry.
你想和奥森离婚 So you want to divorce Orson.
我知道这很意外 Yes, I know that comes as a surprise.
我不认为 我见过他 Not really. I've met him.
一个古板的人 The guy's a stiff.
卡尔 如果我们继续合作 Karl, if we move forward,
我希望你能表现得高雅一点 I will insist you handle our divorce with dignity.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
我不知道法律上合法的夫妻为了金钱 I don't know of a dignified way to screw a spouse out of money
挖空心思算计 算不算高雅 that they, by law, are entitled to.
这是你雇我的原因 对吧 That is why you're hiring me, right?
我只想保护本来就属于我的 I just want to protect what is rightfully mine.
你能帮我吗 Can you help me?
当然 Sure.
很好 Lovely.
我马上给你开支票 不用急 I'll make out a check. Yeah, not so fast.
我说能帮 但没说我会帮你 Uh, I said I could do it, not that I would.
我需要你帮一个忙 I need a favor.
告诉我是什么 Well, what kind of a favor?
M.J.·德尔菲诺两天后 M.j. Delfino is having
会在家里举办过夜聚会 a sleepover at his house in two days.
我的儿子没有被邀请 他感觉受到了伤害 My son wasn't invited. Now his feelings are hurt.
所以呢 So?
我想你帮我儿子去那个聚会 So I want you to get my son into that sleepover.
我要怎么做? How would I go about doing that?
我不知道 Gosh, I don't know.
我怎么帮你掩盖资产? How would I go about hiding your assets from Orson?
我需要你的帮助 卡尔 我真的需要 I need your help, Karl. I really do,
但要我去利用一个6岁的孩子我做不到 but I am not comfortable manipulating a 6-year-old.
我曾有过一个客户 Mm-hmm. You know, I had this one client...
他和太太从高中就在一起了 His wife had been with him since junior high.
她供他完成了医学课程 She supported him through med school,
为他生下三个小孩和她这辈子最好的时光 gave him three kids and the best years of her life.
我只是略施了点我的招牌魔力 Once I had done my particular brand of legal magic,
最终他得到了财产的90% he ended up with 90% of the money,
而她却最终和别人合租 and she ended up in a studio apartment...
一间小公寓 With a roommate.
我想到了 Then again...
M.J.很喜欢我做的 M.j. Does...
杏仁甜饼 Love my macaroons.
宝贝 别听他们的 他们都是白痴 Sweetie, don't listen to those kids. They're idiots.
你是个漂亮的小女孩 你一定会这么说 你是我爸爸 You are a gorgeous little girl. You have to say that. You're my dad.
不 我说的是真的 你是自然美 No, it's the truth. You are naturally beautiful.
化妆品只会把这些掩盖了 他说的对 亲爱的 你根本不用在脸上抹那些化妆品 Makeup just covers that up. He's right, sweetie. You don't need all that gunk on your face.
那你为什么要化妆 因为我是成年人 Then why do you wear it? Because I'm an adult.
而且 我也基本不化妆 And besides, I hardly wear any.
得了吧 加布 还是说实话吧 Come on, Gaby. Let's try to keep this real.
那你在爸爸的获奖晚宴上会化妆吗 Are you gonna wear makeup when daddy gets his big award?
当然了 那是个大型的重要晚宴 Well, it's a big, fancy dinner. Of course.
这不公平 亲爱的 你才六岁 But that's not fair. Sweetie, you're 6.
有很多事情我能做 但你不能做 There's a lot of things I can do that you don't.
那你能在爸爸的晚宴上漂漂亮亮的 So you get to look pretty at daddy's party,
我就只能这样去参加吗 and I have to look like this?
我有个好主意 你爸爸有个好主意 Hey, I have a great idea. Okay, see? Your daddy's got a great idea.
不如你们俩都不化妆 How about if neither one of you wears makeup to the dinner?
好啊 Okay.
不不不 你爸爸只是在说傻话 No, no, no. Your daddy's just being silly.
我要跟你傻爸爸说两句话 Can I talk to you for a second, silly daddy?
你是不是脑子进水啦 Are you a lunatic? I am not walking
我才不要当着一屋子的人 素面朝天的走进去 into a ballroom full of people without my face on.
这是好机会让她认识到 Come on. This is the perfect opportunity
美丽是来自内在的 to teach her that beauty's only skin deep.
如果你看到我没化妆的脸 Yeah, well, once you see this skin without foundation,
你就不会这么想了 you may want to rethink that.
加布 你女儿很痛苦 你就不能多爱她一点 Gaby, your daughter is in pain. And don't you love her enough
把你的虚荣心先放下 就一个晚上 to put your vanity aside for one night?
我20个小时都在做苦工 她还欠着我呢 I was in labor for 20 hours. She still owes me for that!
我知道了 Fine.
我会做出最大的牺牲 I will make the ultimate sacrifice,
为了我女儿 丑我也不怕了 and I will be ugly for my daughter.
但她如果需要一个肾 But if she ever needs a kidney...
你真的在准备外宿聚会 Wow. You're really going all out on this sleepover.
虽然我不确定 Although I'm not sure
这么多糖果和哨子会不会是明智的选择 that tons of sugar and whistles are a good combination.
说的对 Oh, good point.
我为我俩也准备了点不错的 耳塞和伏特加 I'll make us some goody bags filled with earplugs and vodka.
太棒了 我相信MJ一定会感谢你 It's great. I'm sure M.J. Will appreciate it.
他一定会的 I'm sure he will.
他是个好孩子 He's a great kid...
而且还挺有趣的 And funny.
那天还挺逗的 That was hilarious the other day,
他问我们是不是要结婚 我很高兴 你觉得很有趣 when he asked us when we're getting married. I'm glad you thought it was funny.
我那天坐立不安 就像跳踢踏舞 I was tap-dancing my ass off.
不 你表现得很好 No, you were great.
但 Although...
未来的某一天 你还是要回答这个问题 Someday you'll probably have to answer the question.
我觉得他现在已经忘了 孩子嘛 I'm sure he's forgotten by now. You know kids.
孩子都是这样 一会就忘了 Kids are like that.
但是成年人 Grown-ups on the other hand...
不会 Not so much.
我们没在说MJ 是不是 We're not talking about M.J. Anymore, are we?
你想逃走 去穿你的踢踏舞鞋吗 Oh, you want to go run and get your tap shoes?
不 我跟你说实话 No. No. I'll be completely honest here.
和你一起住是我做过的最明智的决定之一 Moving in with you is one of the best decisions I ever made.
你让我感到很幸福 You make me really, really happy.
但是 But?
我以前结过婚 I've been married before,
我只是不想再结婚了而已 and I just don't see myself getting married again.
好 Okay.
可能这不是你想听到的 Probably not what you wanted to hear.
我只想听真话 I wanted the truth.
即使真话刺耳 这也不是你的错 It's not your fault the truth sucks.
你能把彩带从车里拿出来吗 So could you get the streamers out of the car?
好 Sure.
另外 Oh, by the way,
不管怎样 for what it's worth,
我是真的爱你 I do love you.
我在那工作了两个月 但我很喜欢这工作 I've only been working there two months, but I love it.
孩子们都很可爱 And the kids are so cute.
而且我也能在白天的时候看到MJ 这很好 And I get to see M.J. During the day, which is nice.
你知道吗 Uh, you know, uh,
你之前表现那么急于想看到我 for a guy that just had to see me so bad,
但现在却表现得离我那么远 you... you seem awfully far away.
不好意思 I'm sorry.
我只是有点紧张 I'm just a little nervous.
我有些话要对你说 I have something...
我不知道你会怎么回答 To ask you, and I don't know how you're gonna react.
你要说什么 What is it?
听起来有点突然 Oh. This is gonna come out of nowhere, but...
我希望你能嫁给我 I want you to marry me.
我为什么要这么说呢 因为有一天 A-And here's how I came to this. The other day...
你干什么去 What are you doing?
我必须上楼去 I have to go upstairs.
现在吗 Now?
你还好吗 苏珊 Susan, are you okay?
我很好 我只是不想让你看到我哭 I'm fine. I just didn't want you to see me crying.
亲爱的 我还没说完 Honey, you didn't let me finish.
抱歉 Oh, I'm sorry.
只是 Just, um,
这几个月来 all these months,
我一直告诉自己 我不是那么在乎你 I've been telling myself that I didn't really care about you,
这么想能让我心里好过些 因为你走的太突然了 which was easy to do because you left so suddenly.
但是我又是那么的孤单 But I am so lonely.
我告诉我自己 And as much as I tell myself
我能成为坚强独立的单身女性 that I like being the strong, single woman on her own,
实际上 the truth is,
我一直都在想着你 I think about you all the time.
我想给你打电话 And I wanted to call you,
但是我觉得你已经不爱我了 but I thought you'd gotten over me.
当听到你还爱我 And to hear that you still love me...
这是我现在 That is just something
真的需要听到的 that I really needed to hear right now.
我想让你知道 And I want you to know...
天哪 我想让你知道 我也爱你 Oh, god. I want you to know I love you, too.
杰克逊 Jackson...
我爱你 I love you.
杰克逊 Jackson?
天哪 Oh, god.
我真的希望你能让我把话说完 I really wish you'd let me finish.
你还要说什么 Finish what?
我是想让你嫁给我 Susan, I need you to marry me
这样移民局就不会把我遣送回加拿大 so that immigration doesn't deport me back to Canada.
有件事我没告诉你 And the one thing I didn't tell you is that
就是我现在拿的是六年前就过期的学生签证 I'm here on a student visa that expired six years ago,
我接到政府的电话 and I got a call from the authorities,
除非我能和什么人结婚 so unless I can find somebody that will marry me,
否则我就麻烦大了 I'm gonna be in really big trouble.
苏珊? Susan?
你听见我说话了吗 Susan, did you hear me?
我听见了 I heard.
所以 So...
你觉得怎么样? What do you say?
好吧 这是个馊主意 Okay. Okay, it was a bad idea.
滚出去 要不我把你踢回加拿大去 Get out or I will kick your ass back to the Canadian border! Ow!
我洗完澡了 也刷过牙了 Took a shower, brushed my teeth.
我们可以开始了 We are good to go.
勒奈特 Mmm. Lynette.
你在做什么 What are you doing?
你知道的 我们的协定 You know, the pact. Oh.
我们今晚还没做吗 Didn't we already do it tonight?
还没 No.
我都糊涂了 Oh, they're all starting to blur.
我昨晚工作到凌晨3点 Look, I worked till 3:00 A.M. last night.
我累坏了 我们不如改期吧 I'm exhausted. How about we take a rain check?
改期? A rain check? Mm.
这又不是棒球 This isn't baseball.
连续30天每晚 这是我们约定好的 Every night for 30 days... That's the law.
我明早7点有个会 Tom, I have a 7:00 A.M. meeting.
不如明天利用午饭时间 How about I take a long lunch,
我们做两次 and you do me twice at work tomorrow?
来吧 Come on.
这很重要的 This is important.
好 Okay.
来吧 We'll have sex.
但是你能快点吗 But can you make it quick?
勒奈特 拜托 Lynette, please.
你不能催促艺术家啊 You can't rush an artist. Mmm. Mmm.
早上好 抱歉 我没时间吃早饭了 Morning. Oh, sorry. I don't have time for breakfast.
好 我也没给你做 Good. I didn't make you any.
咖啡也行 Oh, okay. Uh, coffee will be fine.
咖啡豆在那 抓一把 自己磨吧 Beans are right there. Grab a handful and grind.
出什么问题了吗 Is there a problem?
你不记得了吗 You don't remember?
昨晚 我们做爱时 Last night, we were having sex?
你睡着了 You fell asleep?
做完后吗? After?
正在做的时候 During.
做的还尽兴吗 Oh. Was it good?
我没做完 I didn't finish.
你破坏我们的约定了 勒奈特 God, you ruined our streak, Lynette.
抱歉 我太累了 I'm sorry. I was exhausted.
我又不是叫你去擦地板 It's not like I was asking you to scrub a floor.
你要做的只是躺着就行了 就像你平时一样 All you had to do was lie there, like you usually do.
好 我就不追究这点了 因为你在气头上 Oh, okay. I'm gonna let that one go, 'cause you're upset.
这是真的 Well, it's true.
因为你最近工作完都很累 With you being so tired from work lately,
我才是那个做剧烈运动的人 I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting.
你怎么那么不讲理 汤姆 Tom, you're being completely irrational.
我们一连做了23天了 We've had sex 23 days straight.
我看的天花板比米开朗基罗看的还多 我们承诺了 书上说了 I've seen more ceiling than Michelangelo. We made a commitment, Lynette. The book says...
能不能别提那书了 Oh, would you stop with the book?
你在洗车空闲时买的书 You bought it at a car wash
同时还顺便口香糖和空气清新剂 along with a pack of gum and an air freshener.
你说得对 太傻了 我的想法也太傻了 You're right. It's stupid. All my ideas are stupid.
我就应该继续干家务了 别就这么走开啊 I should just stick to doing chores. Don't just walk away.
你最好去工作 不然要迟到了 勒奈特 You better get to work, Lynette. You're gonna be late.
一段时间没看到你们了 Hey. Haven't seen you boys in a while.
俱乐部失火案搁置了一段时间 威廉姆斯先生 There's been a break in the club fire case, Mr. Williams.
你有时间吗 You got a minute?
你认识这个人吗 Do you know this guy?
不 他是谁 No. Who is he?
塞莫尔·海勒医生 来自波士顿的心理学家 Dr. Samuel Heller, psychiatrist from Boston.
他在火灾中被烧死 He's the guy who burned up in the fire.
精神病专家从波士顿到来做什么 What's a shrink from Boston doing in Fairview?
不知道 但是我们想找出 No idea, but we'd like to find out
是否有人认识他 或者他来这做什么 if anyone knows him or what he was doing there.
你看到他在酒吧后台吗 不 我谁也没看见 Did you see him backstage? No, I didn't see anybody.
除了波特·斯加沃 Except Porter Scavo.
是 但是我告诉你 我看错了 Yeah, but I told you. That was a mistake.
你知道这个叫杰克逊·布拉多克的吗 Do you know a guy named Jackson braddock?
他在后台 是吗 He was backstage. Was he?
是 他被锁在工作人员的洗手间里 Yeah, he got locked in the employee men's room
就在火灾发生前 我对此一无所知 right before the fire started. Well, I don't know anything about that.
你跟他谈过吗 我们正在找他 Have you talked to him? We've been trying,
但是他离开了 我们找不到他 but he left town, and we've been unable to find him.
真遗憾 我们会搞清楚的 打扰了 That's a shame. We'll figure it out. Thanks for your time.
没问题 You bet.
苏珊 我是大卫 Hey, Susan. It's Dave.
我想周六上午6点 You know, I was thinking I'd pick up you and M.J.
去接你和MJ去郊游 Around 6:00 A.M. Saturday for the trip.
我觉得我们早点出发更好 Yeah. I figured the earlier we get going, the better.
好 Okay.
你好 MJ Well, hello there, M.J.
我今早一直在做点心 像个傻子一样 I was baking this morning, and like an idiot,
我做了太多的杏仁甜饼 I made too many macaroons.
你想来一块吗 Would you be willing to take one?
我可不想看到他们浪费 我喜欢杏仁甜饼 I would hate to see them go to waste. Macaroons are my favorite.
真的吗 真是太巧了 Oh, really? What a delightful coincidence.
我可以每礼拜为你烤一些 You know, I could bake these for you every week,
我要的回报只是你帮我一个小小的忙 and all I'd need in return is just the tiniest of favors.
什么忙 What kind of favor?
邀请伊万·梅尔来你的过夜聚会 Invite Evan Mayer to your sleepover.
我不喜欢他 他很讨厌 I don't like Evan. He's mean.
不 Oh, no.
实际上 他只不过是个脆弱的小男孩 Deep down, he's just a fragile little boy
他也想有人喜欢他 who wants to be liked.
他拿一个死松鼠打我 He hit me with a dead squirrel.
MJ 如果我们太挑剔的话 Now, M.J., we can find faults with all our friends
我们所有的朋友都有错 if we nitpick.
怎么样 你会邀请他吗 What do you say? Will you invite him?
你想吃冰淇淋混合杏仁甜饼吗 Would you like some ice cream with your macaroons?
你喜欢我也可以做 Because I could make that happen.
布里 Bree?
我的高尔夫球活动要晚了 I'm late for my golf game.
我没时间去取钱了 I don't have time to go to the a.T.M.,
我从你的钱包拿些钱 so I took the cash out of your wallet.
再见 Bye.
MJ 我生命中有一个人 M.j., there's someone in my life
他每一天 who hits me with a dead squirrel
都在用死松鼠打我 every single day.
你是唯一能帮我的人 And you are the only one who can help me.
求你了 邀请伊万去你的晚会 Please, please invite Evan to your party.
好吧 Okay.
谢谢 Thank you.
谢谢 亲爱的 Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
我做的一切都是为了杏仁甜饼 Boy, the stuff I do for macaroons.
走开 我不想跟你说话 Go away! I-I don't want to talk to you.
让我进来 Come on. Let me in.
谢谢 这周我被羞辱 Thanks, but I've reached my maximum allowance
已经达到极限了 for humiliation this week.
听我说 我很抱歉让你误以为我在真的求婚 Listen, I'm sorry you thought it was a real proposal.
我后来有想我应该接受被驱逐 I thought you knew I'd moved on.
好了 极限被突破 Maximum allowance exceeded.
你想干嘛 What do you want?
我想道歉 你有权利对我生气 I wanted to apologize. You have every right to be mad at me.
我没有生你的气 Oh, I'm not mad at you.
我只是对自己失望 You know, I'm just disappointed in myself.
我有点孤单 有点害怕 I was a little lonely and a little afraid
我只是做了我平时做的 and... I just did what I always do...
让该死的爱情幻想冲昏头脑 Let some silly romantic fantasy take over.
我不知道你还对我有感觉 I didn't know you still felt that way about me.
不 不是这样 I don't.
这不是关于你 This isn't about you.
不完全是 Not really.
而且 你也继续你的人生了 And besides, you moved on.
我不得不这么做 Well, I had to.
你把我推开了 You pushed me away.
我得安抚我受伤的心灵 恢复心情 I had to... heal my heart and get over it.
我是说 这是你留下来继续工作的 This... I mean, this is really the only thing you can do
唯一的办法吗 to stay here and do your work?
是 Yeah.
我会帮你的 I'll help you.
真的吗 Really?
对 Yeah.
我会帮你 但仅此而已 I'll do it. But that's it.
不谈情说爱 也不上床做爱 只是 No love, no sex, just...
结婚而已 Marriage.
不做爱吗 No sex?
你想让人觉得我们是真要结婚 对吧 You want people to think this is a real marriage, don't you?
加布 快来 Gaby, come on.
看在上帝的份上 摘掉你的太阳镜 现在是晚上8点 For god sakes, will you take those off? It's 8:00 at night.
好吧 只要你不介意人们会认为 Oh, fine. As long as you don't mind people thinking
你和你患贫血的同性恋妹妹寻欢作乐 you're out on the town with your anemic lesbian sister.
我们的男一号来了 There's our man of honor.
加布 这是斯蒂芬妮 Gaby, this is Stephanie.
今天的宴会就是她举办的 很高兴见到你 She put this whole banquet together. Hi. Nice to meet you.
你可能在想为什么我看起来这么糟 你是说? You're probably wondering why I look like this. Excuse me?
我没有生病 我只是没有化妆 I'm not ill. I'm just not wearing any makeup
这样我可以教育我的女儿 美丽是来自内在的 so I can teach my daughter that beauty's what's on the inside.
我事实要比现在好看多了 I don't actually look this hideous. Okay.
你可以不要再解释了吗? Will you please stop explaining yourself?
我是说你刚刚和服务生解释 就够糟的了 I mean, it was bad enough when you did it with the valet. I can't help it.
我不想人们以为我会容忍这张脸 I don't want people thinking I condone this face.
我得去找我们的座位了 I'm gonna go find our table.
需要香槟吗? Champagne?
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我不是病了 我只是么有化妆 加布! I'm not ill. I'm just not wearing any makeup. Gaby!
我得走了 Gotta go.
孩子们 不要在屋子里乱跑 Come on, guys. No running in the house.
这些蜜饯苹果太好吃了 These candy apples are great.
我和伊万能再要一个吗? Can me and Evan have another one?
我得去问问凯瑟琳 Well, I better ask Katherine.
她在哪里? Where is Katherine?
嘿 你错过了许多好玩的 Hey. You're missing all the fun.
我刚刚从一个小孩头发上取下蜜饯苹果 I just got a candied apple out of a kid's hair.
听起来一切都进行得不错 Sounds like you got everything under control.
下楼去吧 No, come on down.
你不在没什么意思 It's not as much fun without you.
好的 Okay.
你向来很坦诚 所以我也得坦诚以对 You were honest with me, so I'm gonna be honest with you.
我很害怕 I got scared.
害怕什么 Of what?
我和一个超级棒的男人还有他可爱的儿子 I was hosting a party with this amazing man
一起举办一个聚会 and his adorable son,
我们看上去就像完美的一家人 and we were like the perfect family,
然后我突然意识到.. and then I realized...
我们不是一家人 We're not a family.
这一切可能稍纵即逝 It could all go away in an instant.
凯瑟琳 我不会离开你的 Katherine, I'm not leaving.
但你同样也没有接受我 But you're not committing either.
麦克 这是为什么 Why not, Mike?
是因为苏珊吗? Is it Susan?
你还爱她吗? You still in love with her?
不 No.
我给你说过 No, I've told you that.
那就是我的问题了 Then it must be me.
凯瑟琳 我很高兴你出现在我的生命里 Katherine, I love having you in my life.
只是我还没有准备好 I'm just not ready.
我不知道还能说什么 I don't know what else to say.
我不是让你说些什么 I'm not trying to get you to say anything.
我只是不得不照顾自己的情绪 I just have to take care of myself.
我得去看看下面怎么样了 I should probably go make sure the first floor is still there.
抱歉 市长要走了 Excuse me. The mayor's about to leave,
报社想为你们合张影 and the newspaper wants a photo with him and your family.
太好了 Oh, that's so sweet.
告诉他没门 告诉他我们马上过去 Tell him no way in hell. Tell him we'll be right there.
上报? 想也别想 The newspaper? Forget it.
加布 我在这个城市做生意 Gaby, I do business with the city.
我不能放市长的鸽子 我是认真的 I can't just blow off the mayor. Seriously,
我们不能让这张脸出现在报纸上 we cannot allow this to be photographed.
下次有什么传染病 Next time there's an epidemic,
人们会认为我是首个感染者 people are gonna think I'm patient zero.
你没得选 You're not getting out of this.
好 Fine.
但先声明一点 你同样也是年度拉丁混蛋 But just so we're clear, you're also latino jerk of the year.
走吧 Come on. Let's go.
我至少能先去一趟洗手间吧 Oh, can I at least use the bathroom first?
女士们 注意了 Ladies! Attention, please.
我遇上麻烦了 我需要唇膏和眼线笔 I am in a jam, and I need lipstick and eyeliner.
拜托了 快 快 快 Come on. Chop chop.
我可以借你我的化妆品 You can use my makeup.
我想它们不适合我的肤色 Oh, that doesn't really go with my skin tone.
你在说什么 我们肤色一样 What do you mean? We have the same coloring.
对 它们也不适合你的肤色 Yeah, it doesn't really go with your skin tone either,
我一次只能解决一次灾难 but I can only deal with one disaster at a time.
亚洲女孩 相当接近了 Ooh. Asian girl. Close enough.
我不能借给你 Um, I don't think so.
是因为刚才我的语气吗 我为此抱歉 Ugh. Was it the "chop chop" thing? Fine. I'm sorry.
我能借下腮红吗 Now can I borrow some blush?
我不和别人共用化妆品 我怕传染病菌 I don't share cosmetics. I'm sort of a germ freak.
别担心 我强壮如牛 真的吗? 你看上去并不健康 Oh, don't worry. I'm as healthy as a horse. Really? You look sick.
是因为我没有用化妆品 That's 'cause I don't have any makeup!
我说了不借 让我走 I said no. Now leave me alone.
抱歉 你是对的 Okay, okay, look. I'm sorry. You're right.
我本不应该这样做 I never should have asked.
你给我出来 我要叫保安了 Oh. Oh! Hey! Come out now, or I'll call security!
叫吧 女领班的钱包里装满了餐包 You know, for a woman who has a purse full of dinner rolls,
你当然得有点姿态了 you sure have a lot of attitude.
好了 人到齐了 Oh, good. We're all here.
顺便说一下 索利斯夫人 你看上去美极了 By the way, Mrs. Solis, you look absolutely stunning.
谢谢 Thank you.
是啊 妈妈 你看上去很美 Yeah, mom. You look great.
大家都笑一笑 Okay, big smiles, everyone.
看这个 See this?
我第三杯浓缩咖啡 My third Espresso.
我现在精力充沛 今晚不会再睡着了 I'm wired. No way I'm falling asleep tonight.
不如我们往前庭草坪上扔一张披萨 Hey. How about we throw a pizza on the front lawn,
孩子们冲过去吃的时候 and when the kids run out to get it,
我们把门锁起来 在房子里的每个房间里做爱 we lock the door and do it in every room in the house?
汤姆 我很抱歉 Tom, I'm sorry.
我不知道还能说什么 I don't know what else to say.
如果你想继续生气 我猜你还在生气 If you wanna stay mad, I guess you're gonna stay mad.
我没生气 勒奈特 I am not mad, Lynette.
那是怎么了 Then what's wrong?
你会觉得我很傻 You're gonna think it's stupid.
跟我说说 Tell me.
你想知道为什么上床 You want to know why sex
对我来说 那么重要 has become so important to me lately?
因为你是我生命中 Because you are the only thing in my life
唯一我还满怀热情的 that I'm passionate about.
你这么说我很高兴 That is so sweet.
不 勒奈特 不是因为我 也不是因为你 No. No, it's not good, Lynette... Not for me, not for you.
我 I...
我需要对其他东西让我感兴趣 I need something else to be excited about.
我以为你想 在家休息一段时间 I thought you wanted to do this, to take a break and stay home.
我确实这么想 你知道 孩子们都长大了 I did. You know, I figured, the kids are grown...
我可以收拾家里 处理一些杂事 I can take care of the house and the errands,
这些事情太简单了 and it'll be easy, and it is.
就是太简单了 It's too damn easy.
中午就都干完了 I am finished with my work by noon,
然后我就坐着 and then I just sit around,
等你回家 waiting for you to come home.
所以 So...
你你想做什么 What do you want to do? Hmm?
你还对什么怀有热情 What are you passionate about?
我不知道 I don't know.
我是个中年男人 I'm a middle-aged guy,
我不知道我人生该怎么过 and I don't know what I want to do with my life.
我说了 这想法很傻 I told you it was stupid.
不 No.
嗨 Hey.
我知道今晚让你失望了 真的很抱歉 I know I disappointed you tonight, and I'm really sorry.
没关系 我知道你为什么那么做 It's okay. I know why you did it.
我也需要化妆 I need makeup, too.
亲爱的 我知道 现在你可能觉得美貌 Honey, I know you think being pretty
是世界上最重要的事情之一 seems like the most important thing in the world right now,
但是相信我 并不是 but believe me, it's not.
你曾经是个模特 You were a model.
是的 我曾经是 Yes, I was.
我的一生 And my whole life,
人们都告诉我 我有多美 people told me how pretty I was.
但是你知道吗 So you know what?
我从来没想过在学校我需要努力读书 I never thought I had to work hard in school
或者交要好的朋友 or work on friendships
或塑造我的性格 or my personality... none of it.
然后我不再当模特 And then I stopped modeling,
我意识到我内在空空 and I realized I didn't have much on the inside.
我不想你步我的后尘 And I don't want that for you.
我想让你是勇敢 有趣 富有创造力的 I want you to be brave and funny and creative...
而不是空有一副好皮囊 To be more than just a shell.
我希望你能有丰富的内在 I want you to have the whole rich, gooey center.
你能答应我要做到这些吗 Will you promise to do that for yourself?
好 Okay.
那我什么时候能化妆 When do I get to wear makeup?
等有一天意识到 I tell you what. You can wear makeup
你不再需要化妆的时候 the day you realize you don't really need it.
我给MJ买了一个鱼竿 Hey.
我想教小家伙在投入水里之前 I bought M.J. A fishing pole.
如何抛竿 I figure I'd teach the little guy how to cast
我们这周可能去不了了 before we hit the water. Oh, my god. We're not gonna be able to make it this weekend.
我 I'm kind of...
要结婚了 Getting married.
什么 What?
跟谁 To who?
大卫·威廉姆斯 Dave Williams.
我一听就是你 I thought I heard you out here.
杰克逊 Jackson.
当你以为我不再出现 可我又回来了 Just when you thought I was out of the picture, I'm back.
既然你实现了你的承诺 Since you held up your end of the bargain,
我也会满足对你的承诺 I'm going to hold up mine.
我会保证你的公司以及你的财产 I'm gonna make sure that you walk away from this marriage
在离婚官司中毫无损失 with your business and your assets intact.
现在为了实现这个 Now to accomplish this,
我可能需要你说谎 I may need you to lie, stonewall,
甚至设计圈套 even resort to some outright trickery.
我的问题是 My question is...
你能做到吗 Will you be up for that?
我以前觉得我是好人 I used to think of myself as a good person.
如果我有选择 我会选择一条简单的捷径 If I had a choice, I would always choose the high road.
最近我开始意识到 Lately I've begun to realize that, um...
我可以做任何需要我做的事情 I'm capable of doing whatever needs to be done.
你知道是什么使你这么想吗 You know what that makes you?
完美委托人 The perfect client.
在这里 On this street,
谈判随着太阳落下而结束 the bargaining is finished by sundown...
女儿同意早点上床睡觉 A daughter agrees to go to bed early
除非她妈妈让她穿上旧时晚礼服 if her mother lets her dress up in her old gowns...
女人同意让他的未婚夫留下来过夜 A woman agrees to let her fiancé spend the night
但只能睡在沙发上 if he'll agree to sleep on the sofa...
男人同意他的爱人靠近些 A man allows his lover to get close
只要他们不再讨论未来 as long as they don't discuss the future.
是 紫藤郡的每个人都知道如何讨价还价 Yes, everyone knows how to bargain on Wisteria Lane...
你怎么这么晚还没睡? Hi. What are you doing up so late?
我有个提议 Well, I have a proposition for you.
明早我给你做早饭 I'll make you breakfast in the morning
但你今晚要跟我上床 if you make love to me tonight.
好啊 Why not?
但有时 But sometimes...
讨价还价的结果却出人意料 They get more than they bargained for.