前情提要 Previously on Friends:
- 抱歉 - 菲比耶 - Excuse me, miss. - It's Phoebe.
- 就这些吗？ - 她们是双胞胎 - Will that be all? - They're twins.
菲比是菲比 乌苏拉却很辣 Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.
- 这是送给乌苏拉的 - 是喔 很合适 - It's for Ursula. - Sure, yeah. Okay, it fits.
马塞尔 把遥控器还罗斯 Marcel, give Rossy the remote.
他怎么办到的？ How did he do this?
就乌苏拉啊 It's this whole stupid Ursula thing.
他是在跟她约会 但真有这么严重吗？ So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible?
- 我姐姐你不懂啦 - 你要跟乔伊谈谈了 - You don't know my sister. - Talk to Joey.
- 他爱上了她了 - 你不会失去他的 - He's falling in love with her. - You won't lose him.
他们连床都没上 这不算什么 They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious.
噢 是啊 Oh. Um, yeah.
有事吗？ May we help you?
瑞秋 Rachel! Rachel!
没事 I'm okay. I'm okay.
噢 噢 哦… Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
噢… Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
我们室友要拆圣诞灯 Uh, hi, uh, my friend was taking down our Christmas lights...
结果跌下阳台 好像伤到脚还是脚踝了 ...and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or ankle.
天啊 到现在你们家圣诞灯还没拆？ My God, you still have your Christmas lights up?
填好后缴回来 Fill this out and bring it back.
- 来吧 - 喔… - Okay. Here you go. - Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
好 Okay. Whew.
好了 All right.
名字 Name...
地址 ...address...
紧急时拨打电话 Okay. In case of emergency, call?
你 You.
真的？ Really?
对 Yeah.
你真好 Oh, that is so sweet.
我爱你 Oh, gosh. I love you.
保险 Okay, insurance?
打勾 我要理赔 Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely gonna want some of that.
你没有任何保险？ You don't have insurance?
为什么要有？这要花多少钱啊？ Why? How much is this gonna cost?
不知道 但光照X光就可能要几百块 I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.
- 那要怎么办？ - 那就什么也办不了了 - What are we gonna do? - There's not much we can do.
不然用你的 Uh, unless I use yours.
不行 No, no, no, no, no.
等等 Well, now, wait a second.
刚才我紧急电话填谁？ Who did I just put as my "in case of emergency" person?
这是诈领保险金额 That's insurance fraud.
好吧 那就回家 Well, all right, then. Forget it. Might as well just go home.
- 噢… - 好吧 - Ow, ow, ow, ow! - Okay, okay.
- 好吧 过来 讨厌 - 谢谢 我爱你 - Okay, come here. I hate this. - Thank you. I love you.
给我一份新表格 Hi, heh. Um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms.
为什么？ Why?
我好笨 I am really an idiot.
我帮我朋友填表格 You see, I was filling out my friend's form...
但却填错了 ...and instead of putting her information...
填成我自己的 ...I put mine.
你真笨 You are an idiot.
没错 我是 我真够笨的 Yep, that's me. Heh. I am that stupid.
昨晚我梦到自己跟儿子打美式足球 I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
- 好甜蜜 - 真不错 - That's nice. - That's nice.
不 是把他当成球 No, no. With him.
我人在球场上 他们把小孩丢给我 I'm on this field, and they hike me the baby.
《坦帕湾队》的防守球员直朝我冲来 我非采取行动不可 I know I've gotta do something because the Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.
《坦帕湾队》很差 Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
是没错 但… Right, but...
我这队只有我和小孩 他们应该可以征服我们 ...it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinking they can take us.
所以我就… And so I, uh, heh...
把小孩扔到对方场地 I just heave it downfield.
你疯了不成？那是小孩子耶 What are you, crazy? That's a baby.
难不成要他被对方撞倒？ He should take the sack?
总之 突然间我来到对方场地 Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield.
这下换我要接住小孩了 对吧？ And I realize that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right?
但我根本不可能来得及 Only I know there's no way I'm not gonna get there in time.
所以我就一直跑 So I am running and I'm running...
这时我却醒来了 ...and that is when I woke up.
我真的还没准备好要当父亲 See, I am so not ready to be a father.
你没问题的 Hey, you're gonna be fine.
你是整个北美洲最细心最有责任感的男人 You're one of the most caring, responsible men in North America.
你会是好爸爸 You're gonna make a great dad.
对 罗斯 你和宝宝只需要有个好的阻挡 Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
有人到过彩虹屋吗？很贵吗？ Oh. Have either of you ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?
有叫餐的话 Only if you order stuff.
我今晚要带乌苏拉去 今天她生日 I'm taking Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
- 那菲比生日怎么办？ - 她什么时候生日？ - Whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday? - When's that?
呃 Uh...
今晚啊 ...tonight.
怎么这么巧？ Ugh, man, what are the odds of that happening?
你慢慢想 You take your time.
对喔 There it is.
你怎么打算？ So, what are you gonna do?
能怎么办？我不想搞砸和乌苏拉这边的事 What can I do? I don't want to screw it up with Ursula.
那你的朋友菲比就可以吗？ And your friend Phoebe?
是真的朋友就能谅解啊 你们不就会这样？ If she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. Wouldn't you guys?
老兄 要是我生日 你给我搞这套 Man, if you tried that on my birthday...
那你准备看我发疯吧 ...you'd be staring at the business end of a hissy fit.
加一小撮番红花 会起很大作用 You add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference.
好 Okay, uh...
- 摩妮卡 - 是 - Monica? - Yes?
对 是她 Yes, she is.
- 嗨 这是我朋友瑞秋 - 嗨 - Hi. This is my friend Rachel. - Hi.
瑞秋 我是米契尔大夫 Hi, uh, Rachel, I'm Dr. Mitchell.
我是他朋友罗森大夫 And I'm his friend Dr. Rosen.
你这样当大夫 会不会太可爱了点？ Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor?
抱歉 Excuse me?
我是说年轻 God, young, young. I meant young, heh.
当大夫年轻了点 Young to be a doctor.
- 说的好 瑞秋 - 谢谢 - Oh, good, Rach. - Thank you.
对 Right.
只是扭到 没什么 So he said it was just a sprain, and that was it.
有些蠢事你没说 Uh, you left out the stupid part.
不蠢啦 It's not stupid.
这两位师医生明晚要跟我们约会 我答应了 The very cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said yes.
太疯狂了 他们可是在那家医院上班 I think it's totally insane. I mean, they work for the hospital.
这简直就像回到犯罪现场一样 It's like returning to the scene of the crime.
- 我们别去约会了 - 什么？摩妮卡 他们又帅 - I say we blow off the dates. - What? Monica, they are cute.
又是医生 帅医生 是医生又很帅 They are doctors. Cute doctors. Doctors who are cute.
好 到目前 我们知道什么？ All right, what have we learned so far?
惊喜 Surprise!
你们搞什么啦？吓死我了 What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap out of me.
- 那是蛋糕吗？ - 对 - Was that the cake? - Yeah.
我买了个柠檬烂糕 I got a lemon shmush.
别这样 她马上就到了 Come on. She'll be here any minute.
但愿没砸烂 I hope it's okay.
"生日快乐 灰椅" "Happy Birthday, Peehee."
或许可以用玫瑰 写成 "B" 字 Maybe we can make a B out of one of those roses.
就用特制蛋糕工具 Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
- 怎么了？ - 我们只是… - Hey, what's going on? - Oh, we just...
惊喜 Surprise!
噢… Oh, oh, oh!
好棒喔 This is so great.
天啊 Oh, my God.
一点也不吓人 This was not at all scary.
各位 蓓蒂 Hi, everybody. Hi, Betty.
蓓蒂 Betty, hi.
你们找来蓓蒂 天啊 好棒 You found Betty. Oh, my gosh. This is so great.
我喜欢的人都聚在一堂 Everybody I love is in the same room.
乔伊呢？ Where's Joey?
看到蓓蒂吗？ Did you see Betty?
跟你说吧 我不介意投资生产蕃茄干产业 I tell you, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried-tomato business.
五年前要是有人跟我说 我们可以让蕃茄变枣干 Five years ago, if somebody'd said to me, "Here's a tomato that looks like a prune"...
我会说 "给我滚出去" ...I'd have said, "Get out of my office."
爸 我出生前 你有很紧张吗？ Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
我没紧张 我只是说… I'm not freaking out. I'm just saying...
要是有人来跟我说 ...if someone had come to me with the idea...
爸 我是在说 生小孩的事 Dad, Dad, Dad. I'm talking about the whole, uh, baby thing.
你有过那种... Did you, uh, ever get this sort of...
为人父恐慌症吗？ ...panicky, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
没 No.
你妈妈很尽责 我全心忙事业 Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business.
我不常在家 I wasn't around that much.
你讲半天是要讲这个吗？ Is that what this is about?
不是啦 爸 我只是在想 No, no, Dad. I was just wondering.
还来得及弥补 我可以陪你做些事 There's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together.
你一直说想去威廉斯堡 就去那好了 You always wanted to go to colonial Williamsburg. How about we do that?
谢了 爸 Thanks, Dad. Really, heh.
我只是 You know, I just, I just...
我只是想弄清楚 I just needed to know, um...
你是何时才觉得自己已经当爸了 ...when did you start to feel like a father?
好像是你出生第二天 Oh. Well, I guess it must have been the day after you were born.
我和你妈妈在病房 你妈妈在睡觉 We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep...
他们带你进房 让我抱着 ...and they brought you in and gave you to me.
你是个长得红红丑丑的东西 You were this ugly little red thing.
突然间 你用手拽了我手指一下 And all of a sudden, you grabbed my finger with your whole fist...
紧紧抓住 ...and you squeezed it...
抓得好牢 ...so tight.
那时我才醒悟 And that's when I knew.
那你不想去威廉斯堡吗？ So you don't want to go to Williamsburg?
可以啊 We can go to Williamsburg.
吃鱼吧 Eat your fish.
瑞秋 帅医生来了 Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
来了 Okay, coming.
请进 麦可 杰夫瑞 Hi, come on in. Hey, Michael, Jeffrey.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
我们带了酒来 Uh, here, we brought wine.
这是波格奈酒庄的名酒 Look at this. It's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine.
- 怎么能不喝？ - 好棒 - So how could we resist? - Oh, that's great.
- 摩妮卡 脚踝好吗？ - 就… - So, Monica, how's the ankle? - It's, uh...
你自己讲 Why don't you tell them?
毕竟脚踝长在你身上 After all, it is your ankle.
好多了 谢谢 You know, it's feeling a lot better. Thank you.
请坐 我们拿杯子 Listen, why don't you guys sit down, and we'll get you some glasses.
- 好 - 好 - Okay. - Okay.
- 嗯 - 马上 - Um... - Stat.
干脆把身份说清楚吧 Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are?
- 不会有事的 - 不可能 会惹祸上身 - I mean, I think it'll be fine. - It will not. We'll get in trouble.
摩妮卡 别这么没用好吗？ Monica, would you stop being such a wuss?
没用？我头脑清楚 有错吗？ A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world.
- 所以呢？ - 她们还是很正常 - So? - So they still seem normal.
因为她们本来就很正常 That's because they are.
承认吧 每次跟医院病人约会都… You have to admit, when we go out with women we meet at the hospital...
别穷紧张 你看看身边 Would you relax? Take a look around.
没有异教徒的圣坛 There are no pagan altars.
角落没堆人骨 No piles of bones in the corners.
她们没问题 跟我这样做 They're fine. Go like this:
不能那样好吗？你有时候真的太天真 I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a big baby.
- 我才不天真 - 真的 - I am not a baby. - Be serious.
- 是你穷紧张 - 你有公主病 - You get uptight... - You act like a princess.
- 你知道怎样吗？ - 怎样啊？ - You know what? You know what? - What? What?
你越来越像你妈妈 Every day you are becoming more and more like your mother.
借过 来了 Excuse me. Hello, here we go.
这地方很棒 你们住多久了？ This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
谢谢 差不多六年 Thanks. I've been here about six years.
瑞秋前几个月才搬来的 And Rachel moved in a few months ago.
我本来要嫁人了 See, I was supposed to get married...
但临到圣坛才甩了人家 ...but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
- 真的吗？ - 真的 - Really? - Yeah.
这是有点自私啦 不过… Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but, heh...
我就是这样啊 ...hey, that's me.
尝尝鹰嘴豆沙拉酱吧 Why don't you try the hummus?
摩妮卡 你是从事什么行业？ So, Monica, what do you do?
我是上流餐厅的大厨 Uh, I am a, uh, chef at a restaurant uptown.
- 好厉害 - 没错 - Oh, good for you. - Yeah, it is.
因为我可以对人颐指气使 正好是我的嗜好 Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
沙拉酱好好吃 Well, this hummus is great.
天佑鹰嘴豆 God bless the chickpea.
天啊 Oh, God.
我真是被宠坏了 I am so spoiled.
没了 That's it.
我刚有说高中时 And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school...
我胖得像猪吗？ ...I was a cow?
我以前会尿床 I used to wet my bed.
我用胸部吸引人 I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
我们都这样 We both do that.
摩妮卡和瑞秋住处 Monica and Rachel's apartment.
等等 瑞秋 是你爸 Uh... Uh, yeah, just one second. Uh, Rachel, it's your dad.
爸 Hi, Dad.
不 是我 No, no. It's me.
爸 现在不方便 Listen, Dad, I can't talk right now. Um...
有件事… But there's something, um...
我一直想跟你说 There's something that I've been meaning to tell you.
抱歉 Excuse me.
记得大一时 Remember back in freshman year?
比利•德端斯金和我在你们床上做爱 Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
爸 Daddy...
爸 我怎么可能会跟比利•德瑞斯金上床？ Daddy... Daddy, why? Why would I sleep with Billy Dreskin?
他爸可是你工作上的死对头 His father tried to put you out of business.
你惨了 You are dead.
罗斯 他又拿到遥控器了 Ross, he's got the remote again.
好 Good.
或许他知道怎么转回来 Maybe he can switch it back.
或许不会 Maybe not.
喂 Hello?
是 Uh, ueah... Uh...
等等 我看她在不在 Okay, uh, hold on a second and let me just check and see if she's here.
医院的护士 她说表格有问题 It's the woman from the hospital. There's a problem with the form.
天啊 怎么办？ Oh, God, what do we do?
先问清什么事 I don't know. Just find out what they want.
你来问啦 Okay. No, you do it.
我是摩妮卡 Hello. This is Monica.
是？ Yeah?
哦 好 Oh. Okay.
我们马上过去 谢谢 Yes, we'll be right down. Thank you.
忘了签入院单 We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
- 你说的对 不值得这样 - 谢谢 - Okay, you're right, this wasn't worth it. - Thank you.
- 我去换衣服 - 好 - Okay, let me just change. - Yes.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
有麻烦？ Trouble?
你姐姐前晚失约没到 Your sister stood me up the other night.
人家不支持感觉是不是很差？ Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
- 有打给她看看吗？ - 打了两天 - Did you try calling her? - I've been trying for two days.
餐厅说她在忙 When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk.
没想到她就这样甩我 I can't believe she's blowing me off.
瑞夫餐馆
你好 Hey.
噢 Oh.
有空吗？ Um, you got a minute?
有啊 就工作没什么 Um, yeah, I'm just working.
- 那… - 嗯？ - So... - Uh-huh?
送你生日礼物 Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.
你记得喔 Oh, wow, you remembered.
是儿童厨具组 Oh. It's a Judy Jetson Thermos.
就跟你… Right. Like the kind you...
对 Right.
我也有东西给你 Oh, I got something for you too.
你怎么知道我要来？ How'd you know I was coming?
就双胞胎的心电感应 Um, yeah, um, "twin" thing.
不敢相信你会这样 I can't believe you did this.
不敢相信你会… I can't believe you...
这样 ...did this.
你和乔伊怎么了？ So, what's the deal with, um, you and Joey?
对了 Oh, right.
他人很好 但我们结束了 He is so great. But that's over.
- 他知情吗？ - 谁？ - Does he know? - Who?
乔伊 他对你很着迷 Joey. You know, um, ahem, he's really nutsy about you.
是吗？为什么？ He is? Why?
- 问倒我了 - 是啊 - You got me. - Right.
抱歉 Excuse me...
这不是有附沙拉吗？ ...doesn't this come with a side salad?
你会打给他吗？ So, um, are you gonna call him?
- 他有喜欢我吗？ - 不是啦 是乔伊 - What, you think he likes me? - No. Joey.
不会 他很聪明 他自己会想通的 Oh. No, no. He is so smart. He'll figure it out.
要吃鸡肉吗？ Do you want some chicken?
不了 不吃有脸的东西 记得吗？ No, no. No food with a face, remember?
你都没变 You have not changed.
对 你也一样 Yeah, you too.
- 记得我们吗？ - 嗯 - Hi. Remember us? - Mm-hm.
你之前打来说 要签入院表格 Um, yeah, you just called about needing a signature on the admissions form?
我们想干脆重填 Well, it turns out we need a whole new one.
因为呢… Because, um, you see...
名字又写错了 ...I put the wrong name again.
- 因为… - 你很笨 - Because, um... - You're that stupid.
对 我很笨 I am. I'm that stupid.
我用支票支付吧 Yeah, and I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
这保险会给付 知道吧 You know, your insurance will cover that.
知道 只是我也不聪明 Yeah, I know. I'm just not that bright either.
好吧 最差的状况 Okay, worst case scenario:
如果说你从没觉得自己成了父亲 Say you never feel like a father.
而你的儿子从没觉得你是他父亲 Say your son never feels connected to you as one.
而他的人际关系 因此全受到影响 Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
你到底要讲什么？ Do you have a point?
应该有 You know, you'd think I would.
猴子是怎么了？ What's up with the simian?
有毛球 It's just a fur ball.
该谁了？ Okay, whose turn is it?
你 "肾脏" 我得43分 Yours. I just got 43 points for "kidney."
才没 你"恩脏"得零分 No, you got zero points for "idney."
"K" 字母呢？ I had a K. Where's my K?
救命啊 猴子吞了一颗 "K" You've got to help me. My monkey swallowed a K.
猴子给我抱出去 Get that animal out of here.
请谅解 动物医院在城另一边 You don't understand. The animal hospital is way across town.
他噎到了 我不知如何是好 He's choking. I don't know what to do.
- 怎么回事？ - 马塞尔把拼字牌吞下去了 - What's going on? - Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile.
抱歉 这医院是医人的 Excuse me. This hospital is for people.
太太 他是人啊 他有名字耶 Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay?
他还会看电视 He watches Jeopardy...
没人注意时还会自慰 ...he touches himself when nobody's watching.
求求你大发慈悲 Please, have a heart.
- 我来看看吧 - 谢谢 - I'll take a look at him. - Oh, thank you.
- 麦可 - 瑞秋 - Michael. - Rachel.
- 哈？ - 摩妮卡 - What? - Monica.
- 哦 - 嗨 - Oh. - Hi.
嘿 Hey.
乌苏拉 Urs.
你来干嘛 我一直打给你 What are you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
这个 Listen, um...
别说这个 我认得这口气 我常用 Don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
抱歉 I'm sorry.
我不懂 怎么了？ I don't get it. What happened?
你在桥下说的话呢？ What about everything you said under the bridge?
对 Yeah, um, ahem...
忘了我在桥下说的事吧 You know, just forget about what I said under the bridge.
我醉了 讲的都是傻话 I was talking crazy that night. I was so drunk.
你不喝酒的 You don't drink.
没错 我不喝 That's right, I don't.
但我因为你而醉 But I was drunk on you.
- 乌苏拉 - 但我们不可能有进展的 - Oh, Urs. - But, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
为什么？是因为我是菲比的朋友？ Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
要是这个原因 你会愿意跟她绝交吗？ If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
不行 No.
我办不到 No, I couldn't do that.
那么 就是因为菲比 Um, then, yeah, it's because of Phoebe.
这个 我跟她只能选一个 So you know, it's either her or me.
那 真的抱歉了 Then, uh... Then I'm sorry.
我呢… You know...
我很难忘得掉你 ...you're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
我懂 I know.
不知道是因为要分手 还是… I don't know whether it's just because we're breaking up or what...
但你从没这么美过 ...but you have never looked so beautiful.
真的吗？ Really?
- 菲比？ - 是 - Pheebs? - Yeah.
好小一只喔 He looks so tiny.
- 我们收到消息了 - 他没事吧？ - We just got the message. - Is he all right?
医生把牌拿出来了 Yeah, the doctor got the K out.
他还找到另两颗 He also found an M and an O.
我们猜他是想拼"猴子"这个字 We think he was trying to spell out "monkey."
医生说他不会有事 只是睡着了 The doctor says he'll be fine. He's just sleeping now.
所以 有当爸的感觉了吗？ So you feel like a dad yet?
没有 为什么？ No. Why?
你都撑过来了 做了该做的事 Hey, come on, you came through. You did what you had to do.
很有当爸的样子 That is very dad.
他醒了 Oh, look, he's waking up.
小朋友 你好吗？ Hey, fella. How you doing?