忆往昔
我看着脸色真差 You look horrific.
你有多久没睡过安稳觉了 When was the last time you really slept a night?
咱们专心工作好吗 Let's just work, all right?
小丑杀手 我知道你在琢磨什么 萨姆 Killer clown. I know what you're thinking, Sam.
"为何一定要是小丑呢" "Why did it have to be clowns?"
别闹我了 Give me a break.
你以为我忘了 是吧 You didn't think I remembered, did you?
你每次一在电视上看到麦当劳叔叔 Come on, you still bust out crying
还是会哇的一声叫出来 whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the televiison.
起码我不害怕坐飞机 At least I'm not afraid of flying.
-飞机可能会失事 -而小丑显然会杀人 - Planes crash. - And apparently clowns kill.
如今
没事的 It's okay.
他们伤不了我 他们伤不了我 They can't hurt you. They can't hurt you.
"会流血的怪物就能被杀死" "If it bleeds, you can kill it."
没错 Yeah.
"会流血的怪物就能被杀死" "If it bleeds, you can kill it."
翻译：饿得慌 艾丝凡 爱卿 Albotscorpy 撒卡利亚斯
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时间轴：小猫 风儿的孽湿怡儿
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校对：草草 后期&总监：无敌失踪丢
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《凶鬼恶灵》 第七季 第十四集
前
喂 Hello?
我是蛋头人 "I am the eggman."
不是吧弗兰克 非得用付费电话联系吗 Seriously, Frank, pay phones? I mean, come on.
神勇口哨奇乐园
这玩意碰一下都能染上淋病 I'm getting the clap off this thing just touching it.
弗雷德·萨维奇 真的吗 Fred Savage? Really?
美国电影演员
对 我知道 食人怪无处不在 Yeah, no, I know, big mouths are everywhere.
既然你问起来 Uh, well, since you asked,
给我点迪克·罗曼的实际情报再好不过了 some actual intel on the Dick Roman guy would be nice.
好吧 Fine.
知道了 All right.
好 谢了 Yeah, good looking out.
希望他能赶紧找到线索 I hope he finds something quick.
每日换暗号的这套真让我崩溃死了 This whole protocol du jour thing's really creeping my cheese.
迪克那边鸟线索都没有吗 So, we got dick on Dick?
dick有nothing的含义
你这说话够生动的 That's a vivid way of putting it.
-你找到娘子军的线索了吗 -没 - You find anything on wonder woman? - No.
很可能永远找不到了 And there probably won't be.
她们消失得无影无踪 They are definitely gone.
但堪萨斯州那边可能有情况发生 But I might have found something over in Kansas.
好吧 咱们开工吧 All right, well, let's do it.
不过我要定几条规矩 But, uh, a few simple rules, okay?
不准和小孩打交道 孩子他妈也不行 No babies. In fact, no baby mamas.
不准去酒吧 不准喝酒 No bars. No booze --
啥样的辣妞都不准碰 no hot chicks of any kind.
等等 你刚才的意思是说... Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say --
你去生个怪物宝宝 Hey. You spawn a monster baby,
看你还想不想马上再去泡妞 see how quick you want to dive back in the pool.
这种吻痕可不是闹着玩的 Those are not the fun kind of hickeys.
你是说这是章鱼干的吗 You're -- you're saying an octopus did this?
不是一般的章鱼 Not just any octopus.
根据伤痕的直径判断 Based on welt diameter,
是北太平洋巨型章鱼[拉丁学名] Enteroctopus dofleini.
它就没个通俗点的名字吗 And for those of us who skipped the enteroctopus class?
北太平洋巨型章鱼 Giant pacific octopus.
它能有多大 医生 How giant we talking, doc?
将近九米长 Approximately 30 feet.
在这边巨型章鱼不是很罕见吗 I mean, aren't... giant octopi rare around here?
但还是被我们遇上了 Yet here we are.
到底发生了什么 All right, so what happens?
他下班回家 喝了瓶啤酒 Guy comes home, cracks a beer,
然后被章鱼吸死了吗 and gets...suckered to death?
显然 这起攻击是某种怪癖所为 Obviously, this was some kind of freak fetish attack.
有人造出了这些吸痕 Someone created those hickey marks,
然后放干了他的血 then bled the man out.
你不觉得咬痕有点吸血鬼风范吗 That bite look a little vamp-y to you?
毫无疑问 Yeah, no question.
那我们要追查的是啥样的怪物 So what are we looking for?
是章鱼吸血鬼 还是吸血章鱼 An octovamp? A vamptopus?
即使是对于咱们 这事都够疯狂的了 That's crazy even for us, right?
确实超出咱们的承受范围了 It does push the envelope.
咱们去找他的遗孀聊聊 Let's go chat up the widow.
请你节哀顺变 女士 We're very sorry for your loss, ma'am.
哈珀太太 我们知道来的不是时候 Mrs. Harper, we know this is, uh, bad timing.
但我们有几个例行问题 But we just have a few routine questions
-要问你 可以吗 -可以 - that we need to ask you -- is that okay? - Yeah.
你们家房子最近有什么异样吗 Did the house feel any different lately?
什么异样 Different...?
任何诡异的事情 Anything strange.
比如说冷点 Cold spots.
冷点:某区域因超自然生物影响而温度骤降
你有闻到什么奇怪的味道吗 Uh, did you smell anything weird?
像是硫磺 Maybe sulfury?
没有 我不记得有这些怪事 No. Not that I can remember.
好吧 我们只是逐条排除一下 Okay, we're just ticking all the boxes here.
那你丈夫有什么不可外扬的丑事吗 Um, what about any skeletons in your husband's closet?
丑事 你什么意思 Skeletons? What do you mean?
你能想到会有谁想伤害他吗 Can you think of anybody who would want to do him harm?
同事或是旧情人 A colleague, an old flame.
再小的事也会有所帮助 The tiniest detail could really help.
你们想知道他最近都做了什么好事吗 You want to know what he was up to lately?
去问史黛西 Ask Stacey.
他死的那晚 她在我们家 She was here the night he died.
史黛西是谁 Stacey?
我们家保姆 Our nanny.
还有别的问题吗 Any other questions?
没了 No, that's...
谢谢 Thank you.
你帮了不少忙 You've been a big help.
谢谢你的款待 女士 Really appreciate the hospitality, ma'am.
老妈 老爸 保姆 Mom, dad, nanny --
天 这简直就是从色情书刊里扒下来的三角恋 Boy, that is a love triangle right out of casa erotica.
不过在黄色故事里 'course, in those,
妒火中烧的妻子会把怨念付诸行动 the jealous wife tends to channel her feelings more productively.
我唯一想不通的是 The only thing I can't wrap my mind around is --
他妻子是怎么把章鱼吸血鬼召唤来的吗 What, how wife lady summoned an octovamp?
我更想知道为什么 More like "why?"
有点不切实际 对吧 I mean, kind of impractical, right?
对 Yeah.
咱俩得有人去跟那个狐狸精保姆谈谈 All right, one of us needs to go talk to the naughty nanny.
另一个人留在这里 等妻子走后 The other one stay here, shake down the place
把房子彻查一遍 看看我们对付的是啥样人 when the wife leaves -- see what we're dealing with.
好 我去跟保姆谈 All right. I'm on the nanny.
不 我去找保姆谈 No, I'm on the nanny.
你不是说不碰辣妞吗 I thought you said no hot chicks.
你怎么知道她很辣 We don't know that she's hot.
你能描述一下 Now, uh, how would you describe
你和死者的关系吗 your relationship with the deceased?
不知该怎么说 正常关系吧 I don't know. Normal, I guess.
正常关系 Normal?
我基本只和黛布拉接触 Well, I mostly dealt with Debra.
我们之间没什么 如果你是想问这个的话 There was nothing going on, if that's what you mean.
黛布拉说那天深夜你在他们家... Debra said that you were at the house late the night that...
就是布莱恩死的那晚 that Brian died.
没错 Yeah.
布莱恩那天加班 我就留下来陪凯利 Brian was working late, so I stayed with Kelly.
她心情很差 She was pretty upset.
为什么 Why's that?
那天是她的生日 Well, it was her birthday.
我们在神勇乐园开了生日派对 We had a party at Plucky's.
神勇乐园 怎么听着这么耳熟 Plucky's. Why does that sound familiar?
神勇口哨奇乐园 Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie?
儿童披萨连锁店 Pizza chain for kids.
其实更多是为迎合懒父母 Actually, more for lazy parents.
反正 他爸就露了五分钟的面 Anyway, her dad showed up for five minutes,
然后又回去上班了 then he went back to work.
当然了 她妈不在镇上 And, of course, her mom was out of town.
有个蠢孩子跟凯利说 她父母都不爱她 This stupid kid told Kelly her folks didn't really love her.
她难过坏了 She freaked.
我哄了她好几个小时 I was calming her down for hours.
你有没有发现房子里有些什么奇怪的现象 Uh, did you...notice anything weird at the house?
怎么个奇怪法 Weird like...?
什么都行 就算是一个不好的预感 Anything. Even a bad feeling.
没有 没有那种感觉 No, nothing like that.
事实上 凯利好像挺害怕衣柜的 Actually, Kelly does have a weird thing about closets,
但小孩子都那样啊 but it's just kid stuff.
说吧 Try me.
她认为她的衣柜里有个怪物 She thinks there's a monster in her closet.
把大家都快逼疯了 It drives everyone crazy.
我们找错调查对象了 Hey, we talked to the wrong person.
什么 What?
别管那母亲了 去和她女儿谈谈 Yeah, forget the mom. Talk to the daughter.
她爸爸庆生会中途离开 她很生气 She's mad at her dad for ditching her birthday.
你什么意思 So, what do you think?
生日恶愿 一发不可收拾之类吗 A birthday wish gone wrong, something like that?
我不知道 但有可能 I don't know. It could be.
我现在就看着她呢 I got a 20 on her right now.
安珀警报是当国内确认发生儿童绑架案时 透过各种媒体向社会大众传播的一种警戒告知
您能去和她聊聊而不触发安珀警报吗 Can you get to her without tripping the Amber Alert?
我试试吧 I'll try.
行 看你能查出什么 All right, see what you can find out.
你在这干吗呢 Whatcha working on there?
我知道你是谁 I know who you are.
-真的吗 -对 - You do? - Mm-hmm.
你是那个问我妈问题的人 You're the guy that talked to my mom.
对 我是问过你妈妈问题 That's right. I did.
凯利 Kelly!
出什么事了吗 Something wrong?
如果我妈发现我跟你说过话 她会很生气的 My mom will get mad if I talk to you.
为什么 Um...how come?
因为我告诉那些警察的话 Because of what I told the police.
你都告诉警察什么了 And what did you tell the police?
我告诉他们我曾想给我爸提个醒 I told them that I tried to warn my dad
告诉他那怪物要对他下手了 that the monster would get him.
凯利 快过来 Kelly. Come here! Now!
凯利 Kelly!
此刻
"会流血的怪物就能被杀死" "If it bleeds, you can kill it."
前
你说有匹马 我懂了 Okay, so, the horse I get.
有蹄印 跳过那围栏 The hoofprints, the jumping over the fence.
但他被什么东西扎透了 But, uh, what ran him through?
我想是个什么大东西吧 Best thing I could tell you is something big.
什么 类似长矛那种吗 So, what, like a lance?
真悲剧 It's sad.
那女士得把他八岁的儿子 Lady's got to pull her friggin' 8-year-old
从学校里叫出来 告诉他他爸爸不在了 out of school and tell him his dad's dead.
失陪 Excuse me.
打扰一下 女士 Excuse me, ma'am?
琼斯探员 联调局的 Agent Jones, FBI.
抱歉 我真得走了 I'm sorry. I-I really need to go.
好吧 如果你不介意的话 就问一个小问题 Okay. Uh, just one quick question, if you don't mind.
昨天是不是你儿子的生日 Um, was yesterday your son's birthday?
比利的生日吗 不是 你为什么问这个 Billy's birthday? No. Why would you ask that?
没事 没事 Nothing. Never mind.
但是... Oh. But...
昨天他爸确实带他去一个朋友的庆生会了 his father did take him to a friend's birthday party yesterday.
你还记得神勇口哨奇乐园连锁店吗 Hey. You remember a chain called Plucky Pennywhistle's?
不记得 No.
真的吗 我记得你很喜欢那些地方 Really? Could have swore you loved those places.
不 伙计 我恨那些地方 No, dude, I hated them.
你总是丢下我 自己去追女孩 Uh, you would dump me and go trolling for chicks.
又不是我把你扔在监狱里了 It's not like I left you in jail.
那些地方不是很有意思吗 I mean, those places are supposed to be fun.
有意思 它们很逊 Fun? Uh, they're lame.
它们到处都是臭味 And they smell like puke.
冰激凌一点都不细腻 And the ice cream is all grainy.
行了 别再抱怨了 All right, don't have one of your episodes, okay?
我是说许恶愿不可收拾这条路 I'm just saying I hit a dead end with this whole
是个死胡同了 wishes-gone-wild thing,
但这两个孩子都去神勇乐园玩过 but both kids were at Plucky's day off.
你要不去当地的神勇乐园查一查 Look, why don't you go check out the local Plucky's
我去问一问那个叫比利的孩子 and I ask about this Billy kid?
伙计 我能不能 Look, man, w-why don't I just...
我还是等你回来吧 why don't I just wait for you to get back?
不行 伙计 No can do, hermano.
我正要去和比利聊一聊 I'm on my way to talk to little Billy.
为什么不让我现在去和比利聊一聊呢 Why -- why -- why don't I talk to Billy...right now?
等等 Wait, wait, wait.
这不是因为你害怕小丑 是吧 This isn't about your, uh, your clown thing, is it?
什么 What?!
当然不是 No!
小萨姆 Sammy?
不是 No.
它们到底把你怎么了 Yeah, what in the world did they do to you?
好吧 别想了 All right, you know what? Never mind.
只要记住99.99%的小丑都不是你的对手 Just know that 99.99% of all clowns can't hurt you.
好吗 会流血的怪物 Okay? And if it bleeds,
就能被杀死 you can kill it.
"会流血的怪物就能被杀死" "If it bleeds, you can kill it."
神勇口哨奇乐园
在这里 你的梦想都是好的
我来玩太老了 I'm too old for this.
欢迎来到神勇乐园 Welcome to Plucky's,
在这里 你的梦想都是好的 Where all your dreams are good.
你能不能... Could you just, uh, maybe...
帮我叫下经理 just get the manager for me?
就这样 Okay.
我只要你再安静待上三个小时 I just need you to stay sane for three more hours.
行吗 给你这个 Okay? Here.
做作业啊 Finish your homework.
在这我还能学习啊 Like I can concentrate in here.
画的真不错啊 Real beauties, huh?
我们每周就展出一批 We rotate them out once a week.
孩子们都喜欢把他们的画挂在墙上让大家看 Kids love having their art on the wall.
神勇乐园能消除你的恐惧
"画出自己最怕的东西" "Draw your worst fear"?
我知道 I know.
但我们不会把特别可怕的展示出来 But we don't post the truly evil stuff --
就只有那些普通的东西 像鲨鱼 鬼怪啊 Just the standard crap like sharks and ghosts.
我是简·霍乐戴 值班的经理 Jean Holiday, shift manager.
约翰逊 联调局的 Johnson, FBI.
跟我说说 So tell me --
当初为什么想到让孩子画这些恐怖的东西 why even ask the kids to draw creepy stuff to begin with?
是一种心理练习 It's just an exercise...
某位热门心理学家提出来的 some pop psychologist came up with.
还有 老板很喜欢 Plus, the owner's obsessed
"帮助孩子们成长" with "aiding children's development."
托盘纸是一种可靠的方式 So, the place mat is a safe way
能让孩子们谈谈他们的恐惧 to get kids to talk about their fears.
我们让他们画完后放进一个盒子 You know, we get them to sketch it in a little box,
然后"哇"的一下 神勇小丑就把它们变成 and -- vola! -- plucky magically transforms it
彩虹或是糖果什么的 into rainbows and candy.
我个人认为这有点扯 Personally, I think it's a load of hooey,
但他们说如果任由这些恐惧发展 but they say that if these fears run wild,
它们会影响这些孩子的一生 then it affects kids long into their adulthood.
对 我...我听说过 Yeah, I've -- I've -- I've heard that.
我不知道你是否记得 Um...so, I don't know if you'll remember,
昨天这有一个孩子 but there was a kid in here yesterday
叫比利·波尔 来参加一个聚会 named Billy Pogue for a party?
对 那个歇斯底里的孩子 Oh, the conniption kid.
歇斯底里 他... Conniption? He -- he had --
不 不是说他 他没事 是他爸爸 No, no, no, not him. He was fine. It was his dad.
蛋糕和礼物上来之前 他就把他孩子带走了 He pulls the kid away before cake and presents,
我想那孩子问能不能多待五分钟 and I guess the kid asked to stay for another five minutes.
然后那做爸爸的就开始犯浑了 The dad pulls a full-frontal douchebag,
冲孩子大吼大叫 starts screaming.
让孩子很尴尬 Just embarrassed for the kid.
你是警察吗 You a cop?
是的 我是联邦探员 Uh, yeah. I'm a fed.
你在调查什么 Uh, what are you investigating?
几起奇怪的命案 Couple of crazy deaths.
怎么了 你知道什么情况吗 Why, is there something you want to share?
现在不方便说 Look -- not now.
这里人太杂 Too many eyes.
打烊以后再来 Come back after closing.
找出小镇命案的真相了吗 So, what's the lowdown with Trauma Town?
我只能告诉你 I can tell you this much.
两个死者都不是很称职的父母 Neither vic was up for parent of the year.
凯利的爸爸忽略了她的生日 Kelly's dad skipped her birthday,
比利的爸爸犯浑 出丑 And Billy's dad pulled one of those dick parent scenes
把大家都吓坏了 that makes everyone cringe.
这又是什么鬼东西 What the hell are these?
儿童心理治疗 Kid therapy.
画出自己最怕的东西 Um, you draw your worst nightmare --
噗 神勇小丑能帮你完全摆脱 Poof! -- Plucky fixes it.
他们把图画挂到一面大墙上 Um, they hang them up on this big wall.
这真让我没话说 Well, can't argue with this.
爱尔兰小妖的确很可怕 Leprechauns are deadly.
这么说 凯利画了只怪物 Okay, so, Kelly draws a monster,
然后怪物就追上了她父亲 and then that goes after her father?
就是这么回事吗 That's what we're saying?
问题就在这里 他们给每张画贴标签 Well, here's the thing. They label those.
你猜哪两幅画不见了 And guess which two were missing.
姓名标签还在 托盘纸却不见了 Well, name tag was there -- no place mat.
是吸血章鱼那幅吧 Little miss octovamp.
是的 还有比利的画 也就是说 Yeah. And...Billy. So...
不知怎么 他画的怪物活了 Somehow, whatever he drew came to life,
然后骑着马杀了他爸爸 and killed his dad, riding a horse.
接近了 不过还不够厉害 Close, but no Seabiscuit.
你看 我和比利聊了聊 See, I went and had a little chat with Billy.
他给我画了这个 And he drew me this.
等等 Wait.
独角兽也邪恶了 So now unicorns are evil?
是啊 显然的 Yeah. Obviously.
好极了 现在问题就在于 Great. Well, now the question is,
独角兽怎么能从画里出来杀掉比利的爸爸 how did a unicorn come off a sketch and kill Billy's dad?
这些事怎么发生的 How's any of this happening?
今天工作结束了 Well, that's it for me.
我走了 Guess I'll head out.
还有一件事 Uh, one more thing.
有小孩在球坑里吐了 Some kid puked in the ball pit.
得进行彻底清理 It's gonna need a full sanitization.
干完这活你就能打卡下班了 Do that, and then you can clock out.
让下路 Coming through.
伙计们 等一下 Hold on one second there, guys.
情况如何 So?
经理在球坑里发现了尸体 The manager found the body in the ball pit.
那里到处是血 Blood everywhere.
警察怎么说 Cops have a theory?
他们认为是洗球机惹的祸 Yeah, they think the ball washer did it.
-什么机 -洗球机 - The what? - The...ball washer.
-洗啥机 -洗"球" - The what? - The ball --
来看这个 Look at this.
多谢 先生 Thank you, gentlemen.
-那是鲨鱼咬的 -没错 - That's a shark bite. - Yeah.
从半径来看 And, uh, judging from the radius,
至少长20英尺 I'd say a 20-footer, at least.
伙计 你怎么能没看过《鲨鱼周》 "Shark Week," Man. How do you not watch that?
《鲨鱼周》 探索频道每年8月节目 介绍鲨鱼
一整周都是关于鲨鱼的 Whole week of sharks.
奥马· 库珀 Omar Cooper.
你猜猜小奥马怕鲨鱼的可能性有多大 How much you want to bet little Omar here was scared of sharks?
这和门卫索尔又有什么关系 And Saul the Janitor is connected how?
他和奥马并不是亲戚 I mean, he's not related to Omar.
的确不是 但索尔本想告诉我一些事 No. But Saul had something he wanted to tell me.
那么这跟杀掉混蛋父母无关吗 So this isn't about ganking some dickweed parent.
更像是杀人灭口 More like, uh, silencing a whistle-blower?
太好了 看来我们要找的家伙 Great, so whatever we're looking for
可以随意让童年噩梦成真 can literally fire off childhood fears at will.
我得小心邪恶的午餐大妈 Wow. Watch out for evil lunch ladies.
好了 All right.
我们把这里清查一下吧 Let's comb this place.
真恶搞 Seriously.
又是吸血章鱼 Dractopus.
又是捅人独角兽神马的 Seabiscuit the Impaler.
还有陆上鲨鱼 下面会是什么 Land shark -- what's next?
好 泰勒 我们到了 Okay, Tyler, that's it.
你得在这里搭大巴了 You got to take the bus from here.
可你不是... But I thought --
抱歉 不行啊 I can't. I'm sorry.
我要迟到了 I'm late.
给你 Here.
别惹麻烦 Stay out of trouble.
此刻
前
也许是幻像怪 Maybe...Tulpa?
不会 杀戮范围太广 No, killings are too spread out.
也对 True.
是天使吗 Um...angel?
上帝的小分队没那么有想象力 你说呢 It's a little imaginative for the god squad, don't you think?
好吧 那会是什么东西 All right. So...what?
我也不知道 毫无头绪 Yeah, I don't know. I'm tapped out.
不管是什么 Well, whatever it is,
至少我们知道它在哪里出没 at least we know where it is.
就在神勇乐园 Plucky's!
死者都是在那儿被选中的 That's where the victims are getting picked up.
但我们昨天仔细搜过了 什么也没发现 Yeah, but we swept the place last night, and nada.
我可以再去一趟 I can go back.
找员工问问 或许能挖出点事来 Go to the employees, maybe dig up some dirt.
这能起什么作用 What good's that gonna do?
他们以为你是联邦探员 They think you're a fed.
那个本来要告密的家伙挂了 The one guy who was gonna rat, he got bruced.
即使有人知道些什么 他们也不会告诉你 If anybody knows anything, they're not gonna tell you.
好吧 就这么定了 All right. Yep. That's the plan.
我再去一趟 I'll go back...
当个恶棍警察 给他们施压 Play bad cop, really lean into them.
然后 And...?
等我搞定 你就观察他们 And...when I'm done, then you watch them.
如果有人害怕了 那就是我们找的人 So if somebody freaks out, then that's our creep.
或者是你跟踪他 顺藤摸瓜 Or he'll lead us closer, and you can track him.
那我伪装成什么 Well, what's my cover?
我也不知道 在那儿逛逛 I don't know. Just hang back.
表现正常点 Act normal.
一个30多岁的男人独自在神勇乐园闲逛 Yeah, yeah. Guy in his 30s hanging out at Plucky's alone--
再正常不过 That's normal.
一点都不变态 That's not pervy at all.
别管人们怎么说 So, it doesn't matter what people say.
我们已经用绳子围起来了 We've roped it off.
我已经通知了主管 I've notified the powers that be.
人人都知道了 别让人进来就行 Everyone's aware. Just no one goes in the...
你好 Hi.
探员 Agent.
我知道你为什么来这儿 I bet I know why you're here.
生意如何 How's business?
看来即使是可怕的死亡 Turns out not even grim flippin' death
也阻挡不了庆生会 can slow down the birthday fun.
但我们已经用绳子围起球坑了 We roped off the ball pit, though,
直到总部派人来 Until corporate can get here.
我真不敢相信机器会如此失控把索尔弄成那样 I just can't believe the machine fritzed and did Saul in like that.
我也不敢相信 Yeah, that makes two of us.
我要和你们的一些员工谈谈 I'm gonna need to talk to some of your employees.
跟谁 Like who?
你 Like you.
你好 朋友 Howdy, friend.
大号彩虹弹簧圈 Giant slinky.
我小时候最喜欢那东西了 Would have killed for one of those when I was a kid.
多少钱 How much?
-一千张票 -多少美元 - 1,000 tickets. - American dinero. How much?
在神勇口哨乐园里不收现金 Oh, we don't take cash here at Plucky Pennywhistle's.
只收通过努力和坚定赢得的游戏券 Only tickets won through hard work and determination.
你王老吉喝大了 You mainlined the kool-aid, huh?
今天周二 玩投分球有双倍游戏券 It's double-ticket Tuesday if you play skeeball.
你好 朋友 Howdy, friend!
昨晚你在哪里 So, where were you last night?
就在这里 Well, here.
这不是明摆着吗 Obviously.
是我发现他的 I found him.
但我一直在收银台旁 But I was by the cash register the whole time.
有个监控摄像头正对着收银台 There's a security camera pointed right at the counter.
警察已经看过了 The cops already looked at it.
你什么都没听到吗 And you heard nothing?
我听到了喷球机的声音 I heard the ball blaster.
没听见他呼救 I didn't hear him.
如果我听见了 肯定会冲进去的 If I did, I would have run in, of course.
是啊 是啊 Right, right.
这就是你的说辞了 So that's your excuse.
我的什么 My what?
我知道我刚做这份工作 但是我 Look, I know I'm new to this job, but I'm --
什么 What?
-做了多久 -几周的时间 - How new? - Couple weeks.
我刚刚升职 I just got promoted.
这位子竞争大吗 So, uh, was there a lot of competition for the gig?
我想是吧 I guess.
是有一些福利的 It comes with benefits.
老板让我们所有人都写了关于 The bosses had us all write essays
我们怎样为孩子尽心尽力的论文 about how we would do our best for the kids,
而他们选了我 and they picked me.
别吃惊 Don't be shocked,
我其实在大学里学过两个学期 but I actually did two semesters at college, so...
我没惹什么麻烦吧 I'm not in any kind of trouble, am I?
我不知道 不如你来告诉我 I don't know. Why don't you tell me?
我知道我并不完美 但是我在努力 Look, I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.
我一定不会做违法的事 And, I mean, it's not as if I'd ever do anything illegal.
你当然不会 Sure you wouldn't.
特别探员 Special agent?
我想让你知道 先生 I want you to know, sir,
我真的很仰慕你们的职业 that I really appreciate what you do, and --
闭嘴 Quiet.
不许作弊 Stop cheating!
听到没 别胡闹了 You heard him. Knock it off!
-混蛋 -混蛋 - Jackass. - Jackass.
泰勒 吃饭了 Tyler, soup's on.
但是 妈妈 我不想 But, Mom, I don't want --
快吃了 Just eat it.
但这个很难吃 But it sucks!
别难为她了 Hey, why don't you cut her some slack?
关你什么事 What do you care?
因为我以前也和你一样 Because I've been where you are.
你妈也让你放学在傻逼神勇乐园待着吗 Your mom made you camp at a stupid Plucky's after school?
没有 Y-- no.
但是我爸会拽我去很多地方 No, but my dad, he...hauled me places.
而且 她工作很辛苦 Besides, she's working a tough gig.
她快累死了 You know? She's exhausted.
你应该体恤长者 You should take pity on the old.
还有吃的呢 And, hey, free grub.
这玩意味道像屎一样 That stuff tastes like butt.
什么 What?
拜托 没这么差吧 Come on, it can't be that bad.
我来试试 Let's see here.
这就是屎 That is butt.
你怕机器人吗 You scared of robots?
他们有激光眼 They have laser eyes.
是啊 Yes.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
你好 朋友 你叫什么名字 Howdy, friend! What's your name?
迪恩手机 不是他
把头摘下来 Lose the head.
为什么这样做 Why'd you do it?
做 什么 Do...what?
你知道的 I think you know.
我 I...
我有权利的 I got rights.
你不能 You can't --
哥就代表联邦政府 朋友 I'm the federal government, pal.
我想做什么就做什么 I can do whatever I want.
好吧 我说就是了 Okay. I'll talk.
迪恩 Dean!
过来 Hey! Hey! Come here!
如果你们是为比尤特爆炸的冰毒车间的事 If this is about the meth lab that fireballed up in Butte,
不关我的事 it wasn't me.
那是我兄弟干的 Okay, it was my brother,
但我们指纹是一样的 but, um, we got the same fingerprints, and...
拜托 这是我最好的一份工作了 Please. This is the best job I ever had.
好吧 是这样的 All right, look, uh...
-克里夫 -克里夫 - Cliff. - Cliff.
你没有用孩子们的梦魇杀人吧 克里夫 You're not using kids' nightmares to smoke people, are you, Cliff?
没有...吧 I don't...think so.
起来 Get up.
什么情况 What's going on?
摊牌吧 All right, cards up.
我们才不管你 Yeah, we don't care that you,
绝命毒师了 还是怎么的 you know, broke bad or whatever.
但是乐园里有真正的怪事发生 But there is some seriously weird going on in there.
你是说半地下室吧 You mean the sub-basement.
这地方还有半地下室 This place has a sub-basement?
当然 入口就在后面 Sure. Door's out back.
如果不知道 就不容易发现 Easy to miss if you don't know.
里面有什么 What's in there?
我只知道 Alls I know is...
我和索尔以前下班后有时就会去 Me and Saul used to come in after hours sometimes and...
你在球坑里磕过药吗 You ever shroom in a ball pit?
我才...不会 探员们 Not that I...would, agents.
是索尔 只有索尔 就他一个人磕 It was Saul. Just Saul. All alone.
总之 Anyway...
有时我们会听到很诡异的声音 Sometimes we'd hear, like, spooky stuff,
从通风口传来 through the vents...
是锅炉房传上来的 coming up from the boiler room.
好了孩子 我们走吧 Okay, kiddo. Let's go.
有人偷了它 But somebody stole it!
那就再画一幅 So, draw another one!
好吗 Okay?
我们得走了 We gotta go.
好吧 抱歉 Okay. I'm sorry.
谢谢 Thank you.
那个托盘纸反正也挺难看的 That place mat sucked anyway.
迪恩 怎么了 什么事 Dean. What? What is it?
你去充黑猫警长的时候 While you were out being Dirty Harry,
泰勒的妈妈生他气了 uh, Tyler's mom got pissy with him,
而现在他的托盘纸不见了 and now his place mat's missing.
你怎么想的 So, what do you think?
我觉得讨厌的妈妈 I think the bitchy mom
加上可怜的孩子 再加上 plus, uh, sad kid plus
画着疯狂的东西的托盘纸 place mat with something nuts written on it...
等于离奇死亡 equals wacky corpse.
你认为她是下一个要遇害的 So you think she's next on the list?
以防万一 我来跟踪他们 而你 All right, I'll tail them just to be safe. You --
去查查锅炉房 我知道 Check the boiler room. I know.
没错 Right.
迪恩 你知道他画了什么吗 Uh, Dean, hey, uh, any idea what he drew?
机器人 Robot.
-机器人 -没错 大约一栋楼高 - Robot? - Yeah, about the size of a house.
从眼中射出毁灭性射线 Shoots destructo beams out of its eyes.
至少我知道该防备什么 At least I'll see it coming.
没错 Yeah.
这一切可真正常啊 Now, that's perfectly normal.
放下枪 Drop it.
放下 Drop it!
很好 现在把枪踢过来 Mm-hmm. Now kick it over.
你这里有挺多巫术用具啊 Some pretty heavy hoodoo you got here.
但我不得不说 据我所知 I gotta say, as far as I know,
没一样东西是能召唤独角兽的 none of these things, uh, can poop out a unicorn.
恐惧中自有力量 There's power in fear.
当一个小孩画出他害怕的东西时 And when a child draws what he's afraid of,
一部分魔力就会封存在画纸上 a little of that mojo ends up on the page.
所以 你将它扔进火里 So, what, you toss it in the fire,
然后恐怖夜谭就真实上演了吗 and some bed-wetter's horror show comes to life?
我也得从父母身上拿点东西 I got to get something off the parent, too.
他们拥有的一些东西 Something they own.
这部分有点难 That bit gets tricky.
这点小困难看来没影响你的进度 Well, it hasn't seemed to slow you down.
我只是做了该做的事 I'm just doing what I need to!
好 好 Okay. Okay.
我明白了 成不 I get it. Okay?
没有画的话 No drawing...
就没有铁皮巨人了 No iron giant!
我还是要杀那个婊子的 Oh, that b-word is still on the list!
但不是今晚 But not tonight.
今晚我要钓大鱼 Bigger fish.
怎么 你要朝我开枪吗 霍华德 What, are you gonna shoot me, Howard?
你真想亲手杀人吗 You really want a body on your hands?!
-鲜血四溅 -你给我闭嘴 - Blood everywhere?! - You shut up!
我可有很多对付恶霸的方法 'cause I got lots of ways to take care of bullies.
别担心 Don't you worry.
例如那个联调局探员 Like that FBI guy.
他是你朋友 是吧 He's your pal, right?
我看见你追克里夫了 I saw you chase Cliff down.
五分钟之前 Five minutes ago,
他的名片刚被烧掉 his business card was torched.
与我的一些私人秘藏 Along with something from my...
一起烧了 personal collection.
我选了个对他来说很特别的东西 I-I-I picked it out real special for him, too.
我一见到他 就注意到 Soon as I saw him, I noticed.
他一直瞪着每一个神勇小丑 He was staring at every little plucky
好像它要过来捅他一刀似的 like it was gonna stab him or something.
这家伙很怕小丑 Guy's got a real thing about clowns.
就这会儿
这些玩偶 挺不错的 Well, hey, these are, uh, really nice dolls.
这些是你自己上色的吗 Did you paint them yourself?
诡异的神勇小丑 Uh, friggin' Plucky.
神勇小丑帮助孩子们 Plucky helps kids.
一直以来我只想做这个 It's all I ever wanted to do.
当竞选经理的机会来临时 我... And when the management slot opened up, I...
但他们竟然没选我 But they passed me over.
真令人惊讶啊 Shocker.
不 我跟他们说过 No, I told them,
"没人比我更关心孩子了" "No one cares more than me."
但是 大人物们从来不听我的 But suits never listen.
那么 我只好按自己的方式来了 So, I'm doing it my way.
让我理一理 So let me get this straight.
你没得到好停车位 You didn't get the good parking space,
所以便大开杀戒 so you start dropping bodies?
那些家长太可恶了 Those parents were horrible.
他们罪有应得 They deserved what they got.
那索尔呢 What about Saul?
索尔口风不牢 Saul had a big mouth!
一个男人泡他家保姆 Some guy hits on the babysitter,
他就突然是世界上最烂的父亲了吗 all of a sudden he's the world's worst dad?
好父母会把孩子放在首位 A good parent puts his kids first.
让一个小女孩眼睁睁看她爸 And having a little girl watch her pop get ganked
被壁橱怪兽杀害 这叫把她放首位吗 by the closet monster -- that's putting her first?
从长远角度看 他们都会过得更好 In the long run, they'll all be better off.
你真这么想 You think so? Really?
换了我就会 I would have been.
你哥哥 So, your brother.
他出了什么事 What happened to him?
那不是我的错 是他们的错 It's not my fault! It's theirs!
看起来他是淹死的 Looks to me like he drowned.
我拼命呼救 I was screaming...
但我父母 But my folks...
没听见 they didn't listen.
他们从来不听我的话 They never listened.
那只是场意外 It was an accident.
他们造成了他的死亡 They let him die!
我猜你仍然做恶梦 I'll bet you still have nightmares.
我猜你之后再也没下过水 And I'll bet you haven't been in the water since.
闭嘴 Shut up!
因为你心存恐惧 Because you're afraid.
不 No!
这不是我的错 It wasn't my fault.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
出发吧 Let's roll.
来吧 说吧 Go ahead. Say it.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
你看起来像被一群嗑粉脱衣舞娘攻击了 You look like you got attacked by some PCP-crazed strippers.
老兄 其中一个用花管泼了我一身水 Dude, one of them sprayed me with seltzer from his flower.
抱歉 I'm s-- whew.
怎么了 What?
没什么 Nothing.
继续笑吧 Carry on.
这真是 That's...
萨姆 Sam...
我很抱歉 曾经吓得你留下心理阴影 I'm sorry for... psychologically scarring you.
你说的是哪一次 Which time?
闭嘴 说真的 Shut up. Seriously.
你知道 咱们小的时候丢下你一个人 You know, me ditching you when we were kids,
那真是太混蛋了 that was a dick move.
你知道 怕小丑这件事 You know, the whole clown thing...
伙计 知道吗 说真的 You know what, man? Honestly...
今晚被那群小丑狠揍一顿 Getting my ass kicked by those juggalos tonight was...
还挺治愈的 It was therapeutic.
-你勇敢面对自己的恐惧 -没错 - You faced your fear. - Exactly.
现在 小丑可没法再伤害我了 And now what else could a clown possibly ever do to me?
-我感觉很好 -恭喜啊 - I feel good. - Well, congrats.
对了 为了庆贺 By the way, to celebrate...
怎么了 What?
-真的假的 -真的 - No! - Yes.
你是赢来的吗 Did you win this?
这是我们应得的 We earned that.
事实上 我也有些小玩意给你 Hey. I got you a little something, too, actually.
怎么了 你不是说没心理阴影了吗 What? You said you were over it.
你可以把它当成一个 You can think of it as a...
小丑恐惧症治愈纪念 clownphobia sobriety chip.