忆往昔
查理·布拉德布利 Charlie Bradbury?
天呐 Aah! Geez!
我删掉硬盘上的东西 I erase the drive first.
然后继续过我的小日子 行吗 Then I go back to my old life, right?
你没有小日子可继续了 You don't have an old life anymore.
永远不要再找我了 行吗 Never contact me again, like, ever.
如果你要留下来 我会和你在一起 If you stay, I would be with you.
但如果你要离开 别再回来了 But if you leave... don't come back.
无论你的决定是什么 Whatever you decide...
决定吧 ...decide.
听着 本尼 Listen, Benny.
我永远不会忘记你为我做的一切 Everything you've done for me I will never forget,
但是 but, uh...
就这样了 End of the line?
再见 Adios.
如今
你怎么能这样 How dare you?
兰斯 Lance.
没错 我就是在跟兰斯说话 Yeah, that's right. I'm talking to Lance, not --
我们都为了接近她耍手段 Well, then we both cut corners to get close to her,
但这不算作弊 but that wasn't cheating.
哥们 这只是游戏 Dude, it's just a game.
只是个游戏 It's just a game.
兰斯 你会付出代价
救命 Help!
救命啊 Help me!
■
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邪恶力量 第八季 第十一集
真 实 游 戏
你没事吧 You ok, man?
我们有对付恶魔最厉害的武器 We have the most powerful weapon we've ever had against demons,
我们却不会使用 and we can't find a way to use it.
凯文在想办法了 Yeah, well, Kevin's on it.
又发现他会打电话来的 And when he finds something, he'll call.
我们等着就好 So we wait.
我们这几周都过得不容易 Look, we have both had a rough go over these past couple of weeks.
而且 And, uh...
我知道你的牺牲很大 I know what you gave up wasn't easy.
也许我们该放松一晚 Maybe we ought to take the night off --
去看部电影 找一两个酒吧喝酒 Go see a flick, hit a bar or two,
好好玩玩 have some fun.
你还记得那滋味吧 小萨姆 You remember fun, don't you, Sammy?
凯文 什么事 Kevin, what do you got?
盖思啊 Hey. Garth.
找张纸记下来吧 Why don't you grab a piece of paper?
是嘛 好的 Really? Okay. Uh, yeah.
-谢啦 伙计 -客气 - Thanks, man. - Yeah, all right.
-等等 盖思 还在吗 -嗯 - Oh, wait, hey, Garth. Garth, are you there? - Yeah.
你怎么知道我们在哪儿 H-how'd you know where we are?
你被盖思秒杀了 Yeah, you've been Garthed.
听着 你追踪我们就够糟的了 Look, it's bad enough that you're tracking us,
你居然还说什么 but it's even worse
我们被盖思秒杀了 when you say we've been "Garthed."
是啊 Yeah.
好吧 我们得关掉手机GPS Okay, we got to lose the gps on our phones
因为盖思一直在追踪我们 because garth has been tracking us,
显然其他猎人也是 方便他分配任务 and other hunters, apparently, to assign cases.
挺效率啊 Smart.
鲍比也会这样 A total Bobby move.
怎么回事 What's the deal?
挺近的 密歇根 法明顿山 Uh, well, it's close -- Farmington Hills, Michigan.
有人在上锁的公寓里惨遭车裂 Dude got ripped limb from limb inside his locked apartment.
不是好事 That's not good.
猎魔 Working a case.
等着凯文消息的期间 As long as we're waiting on Kevin,
就把这当乐子吧 that'll be our fun.
警长 Sheriff.
我是塔戈特特工 Special agent Taggart.
这是我搭档罗斯伍德特工 This is my partner, special agent Rosewood.
联调局 你们挺迅速啊 FBI? You guys are quick.
尸体都没搬走呢 Haven't even got the body out yet.
联调局都是工作狂 不休息的 Well, the FBI is all work, no play.
这样吧 你跟我说下情况 You know, why don't you give me the tour
我搭档到处看看 while my partner looks around?
我自己干效率比较高 I work better on my own.
你们说了算 跟我来 Your world, agent. Follow me.
死者叫艾德·尼尔森 31岁 Vic's name was Ed Nelson, 31 years old,
保险核保人 an insurance-claim adjuster.
独居 这不奇怪 He lived alone, which was a real shocker,
这儿到处是玩具 considering his place is full of toys.
怎么回事 So what happened?
没有强行闯入的迹象 No sign of forced entry.
目前看来 他是被人绑起来 扯碎了 Near as we can tell, he was tied up and pulled apart.
不是吓死的就是流血致死 Died of the shock or massive blood loss.
这看他自己了 Dealer's choice on that one.
这些链条是怎么回事 So what about these chains?
那是锁子甲 That's actually chain mail.
不是吧 Seriously?
他手腕和脚踝上都有清晰的绳印 We did find clear rope-burn marks on his wrists and ankles.
那么 So, anything...
他身上有什么不见了吗 Missing from the body?
你是说除了胳膊腿吗 You mean aside from the arms and legs?
没有 Uh... nope.
都在呢 肠子肚子都在 All there -- twig and berries, too.
邻居有听到什么奇怪的声音吗 What about the neighbors? Did they hear anything weird?
楼下的邻居说 Uh, neighbor downstairs said
她半夜被惊醒 she got woke up in the middle of the night
因为听到马声 by the sound of horses
又是跺蹄子又是飞奔 stomping their feet and galloping.
我们没看到蹄印 We didn't find any hoofprints.
她听到的大概是电视 要么就是做恶梦 She probably heard a tv or was having a bad dream
她嗑药磕大了 or she was high as balls.
幸好 他手机上有条不错的线索 Fortunately, we got a real lead off his cellphone.
电话记录显示 According to the phone records,
艾德最后一通电话是跟兰斯·雅各布森 Ed's last call was from a guy called Lance Jacobsen,
一个会计 也是三十多 也是独居 an accountant, also 30s, also lives alone.
为什么说是线索 How's he a lead?
他们两人大概谈了15分钟 The two of them talked together for 15 minutes,
然后兰斯给艾德发了些怒气冲冲的短信 and then Lance sent Ed here all kinds of angry texts.
一些是一般的狠话 Some of them were your typical threat stuff,
也有些挺怪的 but some were a little weird.
怎么个怪法 Weird how?
比如 Like, uh...
你对我们的罪行要血债血偿 "You shall bleed for your crimes against us,"
后面是一个骷髅的表情 followed by the emoticon of a skull.
还有这个 And this beauty --
我是个法师 我会灭了你 "I am a mage. I will destroy you."
现在这些孩子 都在闹哪样啊 These kids today with their texting and murder.
我的人把兰斯带去局里问话了 My men just brought Lance into the station for questioning.
我们要先审他一下 Well, we're gonna need to take first crack at the suspect.
我说了 你们说了算 Like I said, agent, it's your world.
兰斯·雅各布森 我们是联调局的 Lance Jacobsen? We're with the FBI.
联调局 The FBI?
真不敢相信 I can't believe this is happening.
艾德居然死了 I can't believe Ed's dead.
兰斯 Lance?
兰斯 呼吸 Lance, just -- just breathe.
呼吸 没事的 Just breathe. You're fine.
我们得问你几个问题 We just need to ask you a few questions.
冷静一点 Try to calm down.
我们想问你 We want to know about the, uh --
你昨晚发给艾德的那些短信 the texts you sent Ed last night.
他们带我来的时候我就说了那些不是我发的 I told them when they brought me in those texts weren't from me.
但是你的手机和艾德的手机里都有记录 Well, your phone and Ed's phone say otherwise.
我是说是我发的 但不是我发的 No, I mean, they were from me, but they weren't from me me.
你真觉得这么说就清楚了 Did you really think that sentence was gonna clear things up?
对不起 I'm sorry.
这都是误会 This is all a big misunderstanding.
那些短信是以法师灰狐狸这个身份 Those text messages were from Greyfox the Mystic
发给贫士撒格瑞姆 to Thargrim the Difficult.
那是我们在月门里的角色 Our characters in Moondoor.
月门是我和艾德玩的游戏 Moondoor is a game that Ed and I play.
我们玩真人扮演游戏 We're LARPers. Live-action role-playing?
是啊 真人扮演 是有意思 Right. Larping. Good times.
我们每隔一个周末在民俗公园玩月门 We play Moondoor every other weekend at Heritage Park.
一切信息都在我们网站上 All the info about it is on our website.
你们还有网站呢 You guys have a website.
是啊 一个玩家设计的 Yeah, one of the players designed it.
事实上 如果你登陆网站 In fact, if you log onto the site,
他们应该发布了昨晚集会的照片 they should have posted pictures from last night's feast.
我整晚都在那儿 I was there all night.
这些跟你发的短信有什么关系 What does any of this have to do with the texts?
我在游戏中的角色是法师灰狐狸 I play a character named Greyfox the Mystic.
我是游戏里一个法力极强的法师 I'm a very, very powerful mage in the game.
法力极强 继续 Okay, uh, very powerful. Go on.
艾德是 Ed is...
艾德是老森林的撒格瑞姆 贫士 Ed was Thargrim the Difficult of the Elder Forest,
哈格里姆和布尔芬的儿子 兄弟是 son of Hargrim and Bouphin, brother to --
我是梅林他就是兰斯洛特 He was Lancelot to my Merlin.
你们既然这么铁 怎么发短信威胁他 Well, if you guys were so tight, then why the threatening messages?
我们被授予女王荣誉护卫一职 We were named to the queen's honor guard
是为这周末的诸国之战做准备 in anticipation of the coming battle of kingdoms this weekend.
我觉得他破坏了规矩 I thought he broke protocol,
所以结束后我打电话给他 说他作弊 so I called Ed after game hours and accused him of cheating,
我提出跟他决斗 and then I challenged him to a duel.
-决斗 -天明时分剑锋对魔杖 - A duel? - Wands and swords at dawn.
魔杖是指有魔法的手杖吗 Now, when you say "wands"" do you mean magic wands?
没有魔法 特工 No. Un-magic wands, agent.
因为我就想带着没魔法的去决斗呢 Because what I really want in a duel is an un-magic wand.
就是假魔杖 这叫游戏 Yes! Fake wands! It's a game!
真不敢相信 I can't believe it.
诸神啊 Oh, ye gods!
撒格瑞姆 贫士陨落啦 Thargrim the Difficult has fallen!
兰斯 撑着点 L-Lance -- Lance. Hang in there, champ.
怎么样 So?
你相信游戏的这套话吗 Do you believe dungeons & dragons?
他没骗我们 He didn't put a whammy on us.
他是真的很难过 他不是凶手 Those weren't crocodile tears, man. That's not our guy.
那是怎么回事 So what are we looking at?
你看到锁子甲了 You saw the chain mail.
说不定是什么重口的情趣玩具呢 This could be "Fifty shades of Greyfox" for all we know.
好吧 我们看看月门的网站 All right, well, let's check out Moondoor site,
核实一下兰斯的话 See if Lance's story checks out.
欢迎加入月门 密歇根最大的真人扮演游戏 "Welcome to Moondoor, Michigan's largest larping game""
我还以为我们是最宅的呢 And I thought we needed to get out more.
他在这儿呢 There's our guy.
还挺不赖的 It actually looks kind of awesome.
这里有视频 All right, there's a video.
月门 阴谋诡计 荣誉激情 Moondoor. A world of intrigue, honor, passion.
四大王国 Four kingdoms --
月随者 精灵族 Followers of the moon, elves,
亡灵战士 和可怕的影兽人 warriors of yesteryear, and the dreaded shadow orcs.
都将在永世之地 All will fight on the Fields of Never
参加两年一次的诸国之战 in the biannual battle of kingdoms.
选择你的剑或权杖 Pick up a sword or a mace.
夺取月门 维护当今统治者 Take control of Moondoor and defend the current ruler...
等等 那不是 Wait, is that...
月女王 ...the Queen of Moons.
天呐 Aah, god.
怎么回事 What the hell?
你们会想看看这个 You're gonna want to see this.
千万别是传染病 God forbid he was contagious.
我要去把自己泡在洗手液里 I'm gonna go dip myself in hand sanitizer.
没有电磁干扰 没有巫术袋 没有硫磺 No EMF, no hex bags, no sulfur.
我完全不明白 你呢 I got nada. You?
再看一次录像 Watch the video again.
瞧 There. See that?
跟艾德的一样 Same as Ed's.
或许他们有一样的纹身 I don't know. Maybe they had matching tattoos.
毕竟他们是好战友 I mean, they were brothers in arms.
你认得出吗 You recognize it from anything?
蒂姆·波顿的电影里出现过 A Tim Burton movie?
除了这个诡异的标记 Aside from the, uh, mark of the creepy here,
他们唯一的共同点就是真人扮演了 the only thing these guys have in common is larping.
幸好我们认识女王 Lucky for us, we know the queen.
我狂怒波尔塔将你押在这里 I, Boltar the Furious, bind you to this stock
让月门的所有人都能看清你的面目 so that all of Moondoor may see you for what you are --
一个贼 a thief.
我影兽人的兄弟会从黑山下来 My Shadow Orc brethren will descend from the Black Hills
而这里的... and the tents of mo--
等等 Uh, hold.
谢谢你 杰里 真抱歉 Thanks, Gerry. Sorry.
不客气 蒙蒂 Yeah, no problem, Monty.
继续 Resume.
而月门的帐篷将浸透鲜血 And the tents of Moondoor will be bathed in blood
将那月女王罢黜 as we unseat the Queen of the Moons
她的王位是篡夺而来 名正言顺的国王 from the throne she stole from the rightful heir --
应是暗影之王 the Shadow King.
-你 -安静 - And you - - Silentium!
好好服刑吧 希顿 Serve your time with honor, Heathen.
如果你需要用夜壶 跺三次脚即可 And if you need to use the chamber pot, stomp your feet thrice.
打扰 你是玩真人扮演的吧 Excuse me. Hi. Uh, you are a larper, yeah?
我更喜欢说是"互动文学爱好者" I prefer the term "Interactive literaturist""
我是罗斯伍德特工 Right. Uh, I am special agent Rosewood.
这位是塔戈特特工 This is special agent Taggart.
等等 Hold!
伙计们 我们这周末不玩穿越 Um, guys, we're not doing the whole genre-mash-up thing this weekend.
三个月才做一次 We only do that every third month.
什么 Uh... come again?
假徽章 低价西服 Your fake badges, the cheap suits.
挺不错的 你们是扮演联调局 It's very cool. I get it. Your characters are FBI agents
不知怎么 穿越到了月门 That somehow traveled to Moondoor,
但是我们这周只做月门 but I'm telling you it's straight-up Moondoor this weekend.
这不是假的 These aren't fake badges.
就是 而且做得很好 Uh, yeah, they are, and they're very good,
但是年底的时候 证件号变成10位的了 But, um, well, the I.D. number shifted to 10 digits
最后两位是字母 with two letters mixed in at the end of the year,
而且这个章是上个月的了 and, uh, the seal's from last month.
真的很不错 Really good work.
但这个周末有大战 好吗 It's just it's a tournament weekend, okay, guys?
你们得按规矩来 So you got to follow the rules.
如果没有规矩 就乱套了 If there's no rules -- chaos.
继续 Resume.
如果你们愿意加入月军 If you would like to join the Army of Moons,
女王一直在招募侍从 the queen is always on the lookout for new squires.
好吧 Yes. Right.
那请带我们去觐见女王 Uh, we would like to see your queen now, please.
女王的行程在几个月前就定好了 Well, the Queen's calendar is booked up months in advance.
但如果你们想看看她的军队 But if you wish to witness what's in store for you in her army,
女王陛下正在场地中检阅新兵 her highness is overseeing new squires on the pitch as we speak.
认输 我认输 Yield! I yield!
我爱你 I love you.
我知道 I know.
去我的医疗帐篷休息一会儿吧 Take your leave to my medical tent
治一下你腿上的伤 and attend to your... severed limbs.
灰狐狸和撒格瑞姆失踪了 Greyfox and Thargrim are missing.
我们向女神祈祷 We pray to the goddess
他们没有遭遇其他队伍的犯规行为 they have not fallen victim of foul play.
没有了他们 In their absence,
荣誉护卫队的力量就变弱了 the honor guard's ranks are weakened.
要加入... To join...
该死 Oh, Blerg.
女王我需要一点私人时间 The Queen needs some royal "We" Time.
你们自己聊聊天 Talk amongst thyselves.
好剑 Nice balance.
哥们 Dude.
来了 Yeah.
查理 Charlie.
查理·布拉德伯里已经死了 Charlie Bradbury is dead.
她一年前就死了 你害死了她 She died a year ago. You killed her.
我叫卡莉·席勒顿 My name is Carrie Heinlein.
知道吗 你现在又要害死我了 Oh, and guess what. Now you killed her, too.
好吧 听着 Okay, listen.
不 我隐姓埋名 No, I buried myself.
然后迪克·罗曼倒台 他的公司也垮了 Then Dick Roman went down, his company belly-up,
我就想 终于安全了 And I figure, "Hey, it's all good",
我平安无事 能找回原来的生活 and I was fine. I got my life back.
可你们又出现了 Now you're here,
如果你们出现了 说明这儿有怪物 And if you guys are here, monsters are here.
为什么我总是这么倒霉 Why do I have such bad luck?
我算什么 怪物吸铁石吗 What am I -- some kind of monster magnet?
世上有这种的东西吗 Is there such a thing as a monster magnet?
算了 不要回答 You know what? Don't answer that.
我才不管 I don't care.
我关心的是不要再把手臂弄骨折 What I care about is not getting my other arm broken...
甚至丢掉小命 or dying.
那 我现在扔下剑 So, I'm dropping my sword
然后离开这里 混蛋们 and walking off the stage, bitches.
祝你们在城堡里扫荡愉快 Have fun storming the castle.
查理 查理 Charlie. Charlie!
灰狐狸和撒格瑞姆 也就是艾德和兰斯 Greyfox and thargrim -- uh, Ed and Lance --
他们没有失踪 They're not missing.
他们死了 They're dead.
车裂后流血而死 Drawn and quartered and bleeding out?
别再描述给我听了 Please stop talking again.
那你们认为是什么东西干的 So what do you think did this?
除了标记和都参加角色扮演以外 Well, aside from the mark and them both being larpers,
没什么其他的线索 there's really not much else to go on.
等等 我见过这个 Wait, I've seen this before.
证物
这是凯尔特人的魔法标记 It's a Celtic magic symbol.
起码在我最喜欢的电子游戏里是的 At least it was in my favorite video game.
这有用吗 我能走了吗 Does that help? Can I go now?
这是个开头 别走 It's a start, but no.
听着 Um, listen.
你能告诉我们一些关于艾德和兰斯的事吗 What can you tell us about Ed and Lance?
好人 Good guys.
女王曾经所向无敌的军队中最优秀的两名成员 Two of the best members of the Queen's ever-shrinking army.
曾经所向无敌 "Ever-shrinking"?
我的王国最近有些不顺 My kingdom has had a lot of bad luck lately,
也许是因为我 但也许与这事有关 probably 'cause of me, but maybe it's tied to this.
一个月前 A month ago,
我的一个卫兵在战斗前摔伤了膝盖 one of my guys had both her ankles broken before battle.
再之前 Before that,
有三个人在家里遭遇了事故而进医院 I had three people have hospital-worthy accidents while at home.
你们觉得这当中有关联吗 You think there's any connection there?
他们有共同的敌人吗 They have any enemies in common?
在现实生活中没有 In real life? No.
大家都和睦相处 Everyone gets along famously.
但是在游戏中 他们有很多敌人 In the game, though, they had tons of enemies.
红色代表月随者 就是我的人 Red reps the followers of the moon -- my peeps.
绿色代表精灵 Green's for elves,
月门
蓝色是亡灵战士 Blue's for warriors of yesteryear,
黑色是影兽人 and black's for shadow orcs --
彻底的混蛋 total d-bags.
这个周末将会有王国间的争斗 This weekend is the battle of the kingdoms
决定谁能带上永恒王冠 to see who wears the forever crown.
这个周末 This weekend,
每一个王国都是我们王国的敌人 each faction is definitely an enemy of me and mine.
知道吗 如果你... You know, if you, uh...
撤回弓箭手并让宽剑手去西边 move your archers back and your broadswordsmen to the west...
-和亡灵战士一样 -对 - Huh. Like the warriors. - Yep.
好主意 谢谢 Hey, good call. Thanks.
那南边的城墙怎么办 What about the southern wall?
-伙计们 -什么 - Guys. - Yeah?
对哦 抱歉 Right. Sorry.
那也许其他王国的某个人 So maybe someone from one of the other kingdoms
掌握了真正的魔法 got ahold of real magic
并用来削弱你的军队 and started using it to weaken your army.
但为什么不直接针对我呢 But why not just come after me?
为什么会逐步升级 And why the escalation?
好吧 我们会仔细排查所有王国 All right, we will canvass the kingdoms.
你应该赶快离开这里 You should get out of here.
我们不想你受伤 We don't want you to get hurt.
等等 Whoa, wait.
查理比我们更加了解月门游戏 Charlie knows Moondoor a lot better than we do.
我们需要她 We need her.
萨姆 我觉得我们完全能够搞定 Sam, I think we can take care of
一群举着泡沫塑料剑的会计们 a bunch of accountants with foam swords.
我们需要任何能得到的帮助 迪恩 We need all the help we can get, Dean.
有人面临生命危险 People are dying.
我的想法是 一般你也都这么想 My point, which is usually yours,
她应该逃去一个安全的地方 is that she should get somewhere safe
恢复平凡的生活 and get back to a normal life.
我就在这里 我想要离开 Hey, I am right here, and I want to leave.
谢谢 Thank you.
但女王 But the Queen...
她必须留下 she has to stay.
萨姆说的对 有人有生命危险 I mean, Sam is right. People are dying.
我不能看着这事儿发生 That can't happen on my watch.
知道吗 我已经厌倦了逃亡 And you know what? I am tired of running.
我喜欢这里的生活 I like my life here.
我要留下 为此而战斗 I'm gonna stay and fight for it.
是我 Yeah.
好的 Okay.
谢谢 Thanks.
兰斯的毒理报告出来了 So, the toxicology report came back on Lance.
没有中毒 Nothing.
但法医说他的身体上有明显的痕迹显示 But the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs
他是被莨菪毒死的 that he was killed by belladonna.
-是黄片影星吗 -黄片影星吗 - The porn star? - The porn star?
是一种毒药 The poison.
但他们在体内找不到任何中毒痕迹 Um, however, they couldn't find a trace of it in his system.
就像他们在艾德的公寓里找不到一根绳子 Just like they couldn't find ropes in Ed's apartment.
查理 我想借用一下你的笔记本 Charlie, I'm gonna need to borrow your laptop.
月门游戏中不能带笔记本 There are no laptops in Moondoor.
干嘛 规定就是这样 What? There are rules.
但四个帐篷之外是技术支持帐篷 But there is a tech tent four tents down.
好吧 Okay.
不如你们俩查游戏里的人 How about you guys go canvas,
我去查死亡事件和这个标记 and I'll dig into these accidents and this mark?
好的 Okay.
我需要你们所到之地的所有情况 I'm gonna need a full wiki on where you guys have been.
但是首先 你要扔掉这西装 But first, you're gonna have to ditch the suit
如果你想和女王边走边谈的话 if you're gonna walk and talk with the queen.
当心 通往未来的传送门
打扰一下 Excuse me.
请问有没有一个在线玩家的目录 Do you know if there's a directory of online players?
有啊 在网页上有 Yeah, it's on the website.
有账号就能进入 All you need is an account to access it.
谢谢你 Um, thanks, uh...
玛利亚 Maria.
我是说 邪恶法师格兰吉雅 I mean, Gholandria the wicked.
你用萨姆前女友的身份跟他发短信 You sent Sam a phantom text from his ex?
真混球 先生 Dick move, sir.
是 偶尔犯浑而已 Yeah, not my finest hour.
他终于和这个妞找到点儿正常生活 So he found some normalcy with this chick,
然后都没了 再一次 and now it's gone... again.
都因为你 Thanks to you.
是啊 他这些投入的感情最多 Yeah, well, now he's more committed than ever,
所以麻烦就大了 so there's that.
但是 相信我 这种生活 But, trust me, this life --
你不能有任何牵挂 You can't afford attachments.
你只能让它 去吧 You just got to... let go.
我们还是在说萨姆 Are we still talking about Sam,
还是你最近也跟某人分手了 or did you break up with someone, too?
-我 -是啊 - Me? - Yeah.
不 No.
陛下 Your majesty.
你一直很喜欢真人扮演么 You always been into larping?
没呢 Nah.
比起角色扮演 我更喜欢台式机 For role-play, I prefer a tabletop.
龙与地下城 伽玛世界 汽车大战 D&D, Gamma world, Car wars.
那就是为什么克鲁苏发明了多面色子 不是吗 That's why Cthulhu invented multi-sided dice, right?
但是我的一个伙计喜欢真人扮演 But a buddy of mine was into larping.
寻他而来 为佳人而留 Went for him, stayed for the chicks.
也不是那样了 It's not just that, though.
这是种逃避 It's an escape.
在这里 我是女王 一个英雄 I mean, here, I'm queen, a hero.
在真实世界 我只是一个整天入侵代码 Out there in the real world, I'm just hacking out code
喝喝咖啡的人 and chugging coffee all day long.
等等 Now, wait a second.
如果不是你的话 If it wasn't for you,
我们永远都不会干掉迪克·罗曼 We would have never been able to take down Dick Roman.
在真实世界 Out there in the real world,
你也是个英雄 you are a hero.
我的女王 My Queen.
我注意到有很多女士在打量你 I'm noticing a lot of these maidens checking you out.
怎么了 我又不能阻止她们 What? I can't shut this down.
当女王真不错 It's good to be queen.
这 这只不过是游戏的一部分 It's -- it's all just part of the game.
混合技术搭建 酷 Genre mash-up. Cool.
我认识她 那是菲利斯 Hey, I know her. That's Phyllis.
听说她摔断了脚踝还是什么 Heard she broke her ankles or something.
哇 看起来她 Wow. It looks like she got --
跛了 Hobbled.
那个是杰米 Oh, and that's Jamie.
他说有人闯进他家 He said someone broke into his house,
用他自己的权杖锤打他 但是 beat him with his own mace, but --
没有闯入的痕迹 No signs of a forced entry.
你知道这是月门里的什么吗 Uh, do you recognize this from Moondoor?
我觉得这是凯尔特人的 I-I think it's Celtic?
不知道 不好意思 No. Sorry.
-但是我会查查看 -谢了 - But I'll look it up. - Thanks.
我在各个王国穿梭 I haven't seen anything like it
但从没见过这样的东西 圣上 in my travels throughout the realms, your highness.
好吧 All right.
如果你想到了什么 来我的帐篷见我 Well, if you think of anything, come see me in my tent.
随时 Anytime.
把精灵从单子上划掉 Scratch the elves off the list.
权杖 跛子 中世界毒药 Mace attacks, hobbling, medieval poisoning --
有人在对女王的人下手 Somebody's targeting the queen's people.
不 不只是他们 No, not only them.
你看 这四个人是女王的 See, those four are with the queen,
这两个是精灵 but these two -- they're elves.
还有两个是亡灵战士 And these two are warriors.
唯一没有受害的人是 The only group not to get hit --
影兽人 The shadow orcs.
单子上最后的种族 不可能找到的 Last group on the list, impossible to find.
等等 我知道哪里可以找到 Wait, I know where we can find one.
-我进来的路上碰到的 -太棒了 - I met him on the way in. - Perfect.
也许他能告诉我们这是什么 Maybe he can tell us what the frack this thing is.
这是痛苦之树 It's, uh, the tree of pain.
如果你被这个标记了这个 Uh, if you are tagged with this mark,
你就会成为仙境魔法的受害者 You will be a victim of fairy magic.
等等 仙境魔法会对人不好 Wait. Fairy magic can be bad?
女王去死 Death to the queen!
篡位者去死 Death to the usurper!
男仆去死 Death to her manservant!
怎么了 What?
月门里没有笔记本电脑 Well, there's no laptops in Moondoor.
这里也没有日内瓦公约 There's no Geneva Convention, either.
你看过这个吗 Have you seen this?
当然了 Yeah, of course.
没 没 我没看过这个 No. No, I haven't seen it.
好吧 这是暗影之王的徽章 Okay, it's the Shadow King's family crest.
你永远也不会再黑山找的这个的 You'll never find him in the black hills.
黑山 Black hills?
游乐场背后的森林 来吧 The forest behind the playground. Come on.
好的 非常感谢 格兰吉雅 All right, uh, well, thank you very much, Gholandria.
随时 Anytime.
我从没有玩过混合技术搭建 I've never done genre-mash-up play before.
很有趣 That was fun.
一开始都是新鲜的 对吧 First time for everything, right?
很多都可以是第一次 First time for a lot of things
如果你想来我的帐篷话 if you want to come find my tent later.
下次吧 Another time.
你的损失 Your loss.
女王殿下 你在这儿呢 My queen. There you are.
我找你找遍了 I've been searching everywhere for you.
这个呆瓜要用他渎神的利剑 Has this... oaf attempted to harm you
伤害您吗 with his blasphemous metalworks?
波尔塔 他和我一路的 这是我的新 Boltar, he's with me. This is my new...
侍女 Handmaiden.
我们在找认识暗影之王的人 We seek an audience with the shadow king.
这些山不安全 Uh, these hills are not safe.
我恳求您 我的女王 请回帐吧 I beseech you, my queen, you should return to camp.
他是对的 我主 He's right... your worshipfulness.
在你离开前我能说两句话吗 Uh, may I have a moment before you take your leavings?
女仆 Handmaiden?
他生疑了 我很惊慌 He was suspicious. I panicked.
好吧 你拿着我的电话 All right, look. You take my phone.
找到萨姆 我们来找暗影呆瓜 Find Sam. We'll find the shadow dorks.
我能帮忙 But I can help.
你帮忙找萨姆 去吧 Yeah, you are helping by finding Sam. Go.
带路去找兽人吧 波尔蒂 Lead the way to the orcs, Bolty.
别人问起你的时候你再回话 女仆 Speak when spoken to, handmaiden.
黑魔法 Ohh! Dark magic!
我的眼睛 Ohh! My eyes!
你攻击的刺痛灼烧着我的灵魂 The stinging of your attack burns my very soul!
黑魔法 Dark magic?
真是白去了 Well, that was a bust.
你确定影兽人在那儿吗 You sure the Shadow Orcs are even out there?
对于一个女仆来说 For a handmaiden,
你实在问得太多了 you certainly ask many questions.
是 我确定 Yes, I am positive.
他们只是非常善于隐藏自己 They're just very good at hiding themselves.
但是我突然想起来一个 But a plan has sprung to mind
可以把暗影之王引出来的方法 that will draw the shadow king to us.
我们应该把影兽人关押起来 We shall take the shadow orc held in stock,
跟他做战俘交换 offer him up as a prisoner exchange.
把他引出来再打败他 Draw him out and beat him down.
我喜欢你的风格 波尔塔 I like your style, Boltar.
我去集合战俘 I shall retrieve the prisoner.
你去照顾女王的洗衣房和夜壶 You tend to the queen's laundry and chamber pots,
然后在这儿见 then meet me back here.
装备不错 Nice outfit.
你喜欢吗 You love it.
好吧 当你在玩角色扮演时 Right. Well, while you were, uh, playing dress-up,
我发现那标记是 I found out that the mark...
是影兽人的 Belongs to the Shadow Orcs.
是的 而且他们在使用精灵魔法 Yeah. And they're using fairy magic.
痛苦之树 太棒了 The tree of pain. Awesome.
凡是身上有标记的都遇袭了 Whoever gets marked gets ganked.
好吧 那我们怎么阻止它 All right, how do we stop it?
找出是谁施了咒语 把他除掉 Find whoever cast the spell, and take them out.
除掉咒语 就不再有标记 No more whammy, no more marks.
没有标记 就不会再有人遇害 No more marks, no more dead bodies.
好吧 很不错 Okay, well, perfect.
那个多嘴波尔塔 Our, uh, pal Boltar the chatty
去找影兽人的战俘了 is getting the, uh, shadow orc prisoner.
我们会进行一笔战俘交换 We're gonna do a little prisoner exchange,
把藏匿的暗影之王引出来 try to draw the king out of hiding.
其实是我的主意 It was my idea.
查理在哪儿 Where's Charlie?
她刚才和你在一起 She was with you.
没有 我让她去找你了 No, I sent her to you.
查理 Charlie?
陛下 Your highness?
查理 Charlie?
对了 她拿着我的手机 You know what -- she's got my phone.
打打看 Try it.
无信号
我是月女王 I'm the, uh, queen... of moons.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
服装不错 Great costume, B.T. Dubs.
好吧 Right.
这真的是场不错的绑架 Well, this has been a really great kidnapping,
但是我要回去不能死 but I got to get back to not dying.
和你谈话很高兴 So, good talk.
真正的魔法 Wow. Real magic.
真的很酷 如果没这么恐怖的话 That is really cool, if not mostly terrifying.
好的 Okay.
我们可以把事解决掉的 We can work this out, can't we?
给你点黄金 或者我的王冠 Get you some gold, my crown.
再或者祭祀仪式 Ritualistic sacrifice?
我不是真的女王 Look, I am not really a queen.
我只是个搞计算机的女孩 I'm just an I.T. Girl...
站在一个怪物面前 Standing in front of a monster...
请求不要杀她 asking it not to kill her.
好吧 Great.
我人生最糟糕的时期结束了 Now the worst period of my life comes to an end.
我看见我的老板被利维坦吃了 I saw my boss get eaten by a leviathan,
摔坏了胳膊 四处奔波 broke my arm, lived life on the run,
好不容易恢复正常 finally got it all back,
现在一个带着颅骨面具的家伙又要杀了我 and now a dude in a stag-skull mask is gonna kill me.
我只是想找回以前的生活 I just want my old life back!
那也正是我想要的 That is all I want, as well.
我发誓 她要是有个三长两短 I swear, if anything's happened to her...
我们找过了所有的帐篷 Dude, we checked all the tents.
我们四处询问 一定会找到他的 We'll talk to these guys. We'll find her.
你们好 异教徒 Greetings, heretics.
你应该在我面前跪下 You should kneel before me, cur.
好吧 你干脆让我 All right, why don't you let me --
安静 Silence!
在我们做交换之前 Now, before we exchange,
说几条公告 a few announcements.
明天在一号场地 Um, there is a peewee-league soccer playoff game tomorrow
有一个迷你杯足球季后赛 on the alpha field.
我们不想惊吓那些现代人 We don't want to freak out the mundanes,
所以决定把场地改到二号场地 so we got to move the battle of kingdoms to the beta field.
好吧 All right. That's it.
我要用老方法解决问题 You know what? I'm gonna do this the old-fashioned way.
-迪恩 不要 -不行 - Dean, don't. - No, I'm --
-我告诉你了 -闭嘴 - I told you there are... - Shut up.
我要真正的回答 All right. I need real answers.
这可是真枪 看见没 This here is a real gun, see?
告诉我 女王在哪儿 Now, start talking. Where's the queen?!
我不知道 I don't know!
你胸前的家族徽章 Yeah, well, your little family crest there
可不是这么说的 伙计 tells a different story, pal.
-这个 -对 - This? - Yeah.
上个月就在这个标记 Uh, I got sick last month
在我胳膊上出现后我就病了 after this thing just appeared on my arm.
我觉得这很酷 I thought it looked really cool,
就把它当做我的家族徽章了 so I turned it into my family crest.
我的皮肤医生说这不是恶性的 I mean, after my dermatologist said it wasn't malignant.
迪恩 他不是我们要找的人 Dean, he's not our guy.
他只是一名受害者 He's just another vic.
我叫马斯克·希尔比 我是名律师 My name is Max Hilby. I'm an attorney.
我不知道女王在哪 I have no idea where the queen is,
但如果你现在放我走 我不会起诉你 but if you let me go right now, I won't press charges.
我发誓 I promise.
还有这个 给你了 Here. Uh, take them. Please.
走吧 Go.
快走 Go! Go!
怎么了 What? What?!
女王真的遇到危险了吗 Is the queen really in danger?
我注意到小溪旁有一些奇怪的东西 Okay, look, I-I noticed something odd down by the creek.
有一顶奇怪的帐篷 不是我们的 It's this weird tent. It's not one of ours.
挺吓人的 It's kind of creepy.
你怎么一下子这么有用 Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden?
我喜欢上女王了 Look, I harbor an epic crush on the queen.
也许你们可以找到她时替我美言几句 Maybe you could put in a good word for me when you find her.
我觉得你不是她的口味 I don't think you're her type.
什么 你是说她不喜欢兽人 What? You mean she's not into orcs?
我叫吉尔达 My name is Gilda.
我来自阿克莫尔的神圣树林 I'm from the hollow forest of Arkhmoor.
我是一个仙女 I'm a fairy.
真好 Mm. Swoon.
我是说 你是怎么到这的 Uh, I mean, how did you get here?
我是被一条咒语召唤来的 I was summoned here by a spell.
被谁 By whom?
我不知道他的名字 I don't know his name,
但我是被招来服从他的命令的 But I was brought here to do his bidding.
他的命令 绝不是什么好事 His bidding? That's never good.
我的主人 My...master,
他让我伤害人们 he... he has me hurt people.
他逼迫我做的 否则我绝不会伤害任何人 He's forcing me to. I'd never hurt anyone.
我是一个仙女 善良的那种 I'm a fairy...the good kind.
我知道 他为什么这样 No, no, I get that. Why is he doing this?
我不知道 I don't know.
他开始时只下达一些小命令 He started off with smaller commands,
但他现在越来越暴力了 but he's become more violent.
这一周他让我杀了两个人 He had me kill two men this week.
老兄 有人把这个游戏看得太认真了 Man, someone is taking this game way too seriously.
游戏 Game?
就是这个 我的装备 这所有的 This -- my outfit, all of this --
这仅仅是个游戏 It's just a game here.
你们为什么要玩这个游戏 Why would you play such a game?
现实常常让人不爽 This world -- not so much with awesome.
玩这个游戏是为了逃避现实 The game is a way to get away.
这个森林很可爱 It's a lovely forest,
但跟我的家完全不同 but it's nothing like my home.
没错 Right.
那我们该怎么把你送回去呢 So, how do we get you back there?
我自己没法从咒语中解脱出来 I can't break free from the spell, myself.
必须有个英雄偷走我主人的魔法书 A hero must take my master's book of magic
毁掉它 破除咒语 and destroy it, breaking the spell.
吉尔达 我叫查理·布拉德布利 Gilda, my name is Charlie Bradbury,
我是来拯救你的 and I am here to rescue you.
你干嘛不离开 波尔蒂 我们自己去 Why don't you take off, Bolty? We got it from here.
一个女仆和一个时间旅行者拯救女王 A handmaiden and a time traveler rescue the queen?
我可不这么认为 善良的女士 I think not, kind lady.
听着 这可不是游戏 波尔塔 Look, this isn't a game, Boltar.
我们的朋友 这位女王 真的有危险 The queen, our friend, is in real danger.
你可能会受伤 You could get hurt.
我才不会置我的女王于危险而不顾 I will not leave my queen in peril.
看那边 Look there.
我们还没检查过那个帐篷 We haven't checked that tent.
伙计们 Dudes.
如果帐篷在抖 拜托别不敲门就跑进来 If the tent is rockin', don't come a-knockin'.
不 就是他 我的主人 快跑 No, it's him! My master! Run!
月门里可没有枪 先生们 No guns in moondoor, gentlemen.
吉尔达 来吧 Gilda, if you please?
好吧 现在你想怎样 杰里 Well, now what, Gerry?
我叫狂怒波尔塔 My name is Boltar the Furious!
我原本计划 My plan was,
摆脱所有的竞争者后 after getting rid of all of my competition,
明天赢得比赛 to win the battle tomorrow,
说服女王我应该做她的国王 convincing the queen that I should be her king.
结果你们两个白痴跑出来 But then you two idiots showed up,
我不得不见机行事 and I was forced to improvise.
将悲伤的少女从影兽人手中解救出来 Rescue the damsel in distress from Orcs,
当上国王 杀掉你俩 这样也行 become king, kill you both -- that'll work, too.
那你为什么要从弄瘸别人升级为谋杀 So why did you go from hobbling to murder?
灰狐狸和撒格瑞姆做了荣誉护卫 Greyfox and Thargrim became part of the honor guard.
他们接近了女王 They got close to the queen,
但他们是通过破坏规矩达成目的的 but they did it by breaking the rules --
真金白银贿赂其他选手 paying off other players with real money,
而不用月门的货币 rather than moondoor currency.
他们是在作弊 They were cheating.
哦 那用魔法就不算作弊了 Oh, and using magic isn't?
魔法是月门的一部分 Magic is a part of moondoor.
你是怎么回事 What is your problem?
为什么要伤害别人 这是个游戏而已 Why would you hurt people? This is just a game.
这不是什么游戏 只有月门 There is no game! There is only moondoor!
我来这里就是为了与众不同 I came here to be different,
逃离我的无聊人生 做个英雄 to get away from my crappy life, to be a hero.
知道吗 And guess what?
什么 你是个现实生活中的卢瑟 What, you were a loser in the real world,
你在这里照样是卢瑟 and you're a loser here? Shocker.
卢瑟能够根据一本魔法书 Would a loser track down a real book of spells
强迫仙女服从他的命令吗 and compel a fairy to do his bidding?
说不准 你怎么拿到的 It depends. How'd you get it?
淘宝 eBay.
听我说 Look.
波尔塔 你没必要这样 It doesn't have to be like this, Boltar.
把魔法书交出来 Just hand over the book of spells.
我们来了结这件事情 We can work this out.
这事儿最终会了结的 This will all work out...
但是得等我把你们踢出去 after I remove you from the playing field
抹去她的记忆 and wipe her memory.
吉尔达 Gilda?
吉尔达 那个大个子 Gilda, the big one.
我没法阻止他 I can't stop him.
那本书 你必须毁掉它 The book -- you must destroy it.
你好 杰里 Hey, Gerry.
我才是解救悲伤少女的人 I'm the one who saves damsels in distress around here.
不 No!
你没事吧 Are you okay?
我从咒语中解放了 你救了我 I'm free of the spell. You saved me.
神圣森林永远都欠你的人情 The hollow forest is forever in your debt.
我现在必须回到那些绿山 I must return to those green hills now.
我还要把前主人带回去 I will take my former master with me.
他必须因自己的罪行面对仙女裁判所 He must face a fairy tribunal for his sins.
等等 Wait.
有可能的话给我打电话 Call me, maybe.
接下来你要去哪里 查理 So what's next for you, Charlie?
新的小镇 换个新身份 New town? New identity?
如果说这24小时教会了我什么 If the last 24 hours have taught me anything,
那就是逃避解决不了问题 It's that escaping isn't what it used to be.
我再也不会换身份了 No more replacement characters for me.
从现在起 我要面对现实 I got to face reality from now on.
痛苦的是 现实中真的有恶魔 Sadly, reality actually includes monsters,
你们接下来要去做什么 but what are you gonna do?
如果有什么能帮到你们的 尽管开口 If I can ever be of help to you guys, let me know.
一定会 Will do.
还有你 你没事吧 And you, uh... you're good?
你是说除了 apart from the fact
你阻碍我跟个仙女上床 that you blocked me from banging a fairy,
我即将会在战役中输掉王冠 and I'm about to go lose my crown in battle,
因为我的军队被消灭了 thanks to my army being decimated?
是 太好了 Yeah. Totally good.
再见了 娘们儿 Smell you later, bitches.
那么 接下来干什么 So, what's, uh... what's next?
一点儿都不好玩 对吧 'cause no fun, right?
在你开口之前我要说 我明白的 Look, before you say anything, I-I-I get it.
因为没有什么乐趣能够 No amount of fun is gonna help you
弥补你所放弃的 get over what you gave up.
你嘛 你需要时间 对吧 You just, uh... you need time, right?
是 Yeah.
谢了 Thanks.
你说得对 And you're right.
找乐子帮不了我 Having fun won't help me.
帮的是我们俩 It'll help both of us.
来吧 Shall we?
很多年后 当你在床上垂死挣扎时 And dying in your beds many years from now,
你愿意拿从今天开始到死之前那些日子 would you be willing to trade all the days,
来换一个机会 from this day to that, for one chance --
这话不是从那里... Isn't that the speech from --
他只读过那一本 It's the only one he knows.
回到这里的机会 Just one chance to come back here
告诉我们的敌人 他们或许能够消灭肉体 and tell our enemies that they may take our lives,
但他们永远都夺取不了... but they will never take...
停 Hold!
都是我的错 My bad.
抱歉 你没开玩笑吧 Sorry. You can't be serious.
我们的自由 ...our freedom!
本集谨献给
为王者之战中的月女王牺牲自我
奋力搏斗 赢得战争的
男人 女人 精灵 半神 魔法师
祭司 和端夜壶的仆人们
勇敢奔向下一个世界 陨落的战士们