你会听到主场球迷对AFC里士满 不间断的嘘声 You're hearing AFC Richmond being booed lustily by their home fans,
不得不说 这不是没有理由的 and you have to say, not without good reason.
2比0 我们可以做得更好 2-0. We're better than that!
杰米 对不起 我没能给你那个 你想要的传球 Jamie. Jamie. Sorry, I didn't put that cross where you wanted it.
别放在心上 伙计 Forget it, mate.
嘿 如果我给你一点 能帮你提升球技的建议 Hey, would it be too forward if I gave you some advice
会不会太直白了 that might help improve your game a bit?
不会 请说吧 No. Please, anything.
你应该去找个时间机器 回到你妈妈 What you need to do is get yourself a time machine, and go back to the moment
即将跟一个毫无运动天赋的可悲小男人 上床的那一刻 when your mom was about to fuck a sad little man with no athletic talent.
把她拉起来 让她坐飞机去阿根廷 丢到马拉多纳的老二上 Pull her off him, fly her to Argentina, and drop her onto Maradona's cock.
希望对你有用 伙计 Hope that helps, mate.
好吧 够了 Right, that's it.
我受够了你侮辱所有人 I'm done with you being a prick to everyone.
要么我干倒你这老家伙 要么我被你这老家伙干倒 So, either I beat up an old man, or I let an old man beat me up.
管他的 动手吧 Fuck it. Let's go.
他妈的… Fucking--
嘿 Hey, hey, hey!
冷静 都给我冷静 Easy, easy, easy now!
教练 告诉他们搏击俱乐部的 首要准则是什么 Coach, tell these boys what the first rule of my fight club is.
-禁止搏击 -禁止搏击 好吗听懂了吗 -No fight club! -No fight club. Okay? You understand?
看在手枪皮特的份上 各位 我们还要打下半场呢 For the love of Pistol Pete, y'all. We still got a second half to play.
请坐 所有人 Now, please, sit down. Everybody.
教练救了你 老家伙 Gaffer saved you, old man.
再敢说一次我老… Call me old...
你试试看 one more time.
抱歉… Sorry...
老爷爷 granddad.
我他妈弄死你 I'll fucking kill you!
4号桌排好了 从此刻开始就叫“无聊桌” Table four is done and shall from now on be known as the boring table.
可我坐那一桌啊 But that's where I'm sitting.
我还没给伊莱恩肯纳安置好 讨厌的女人 I haven't placed Elaine Kenner. Awful woman.
她今晚不会出席 她的脸被自家的马踢了 She won't be attending tonight. She was kicked in the face by her horse.
小可怜 马没事吧 That poor thing. Is the horse okay?
看上去这支球队还是分裂的 Looks like we still got ourselves a team divided here.
教练 你知道我现在想什么吗 Coach, you know what I'm thinkin' about right now?
-《西区故事》 -你懂我 鲨鱼帮和火箭帮 -West Side Story? -You know it. Sharks and Jets.
你觉得这些家伙 You think these fellas
在体育馆跳跳舞就能化解矛盾了吗 could solve their problems with a dance-off at a gymnasium?
当然了 如果我没记错的话 Course, if memory serves,
里弗和贝纳多当场被刺身亡 Riff and Bernardo ended up getting knifed to death at that particular event.
不是 他们是在后面打架时死的 No, they didn't die until the rumble afterwards.
对 Right. Right, right, right.
我15岁的时候 做过安妮塔的候补演员 When I was 15, I was understudy for Anita.
我读的男校 All-boys school.
我们又剥开了内森洋葱的一层外衣 We have peeled yet another juicy layer of the Nathan onion.
彼尔德教练 Coach Beard!
今天的晚宴 是鸡肉和牛排二选一 For dinner tonight, it's either chicken or steak!
你不能选两种 You can't tick both!
好的 Okay!
败露了 Busted.
还有泰德 And Ted!
-在 -我想知道你的携伴是谁 -Yeah! -I need to know who your plus-one is!
是这位“两道主菜”先生 Well, that'd be Mr. Two Entrées here.
不行 他已经带了另一个人 No, he's already bringing a date!
嘿 你今晚有空吗 Hey, you free tonight?
-有啊 我每天晚上都有空 -好的 -I'm free every night, yeah. -Okay.
-我要带内森 -谁 -I'm gonna bring Nathan! -Who?
伟大的内森他就是我的伴儿 Nate the Great! He's gonna be my date!
而且因为一些显而易见的原因 我们想坐8号桌 And for obvious reasons, we'd love to be at table eight!
不行 No!
彼尔德 你吃鸡 And Beard, you're having chicken!
嘿 老板 Hey, boss.
周五睡衣日我要是早点知道就好了 Pajama Friday? Wish I woulda known.
我给你讲个故事 你听完肯定很开心 You're gonna get a kick outta this story.
-我17岁的时候… -泰德 我打断你一下 -When I was 17-- -Ted, let me just stop you there
不然你就要跟我讲你和睡衣的土味趣闻了 before you tell me a folksy anecdote about you and pajamas.
好的 你要是改变主意了 告诉我 Okay. When you change your mind, just let me know,
因为这是个好故事 'cause this one is a doozy.
抱歉 你找我有事吗我现在真的… Sorry, was there anything you needed? 'Cause I'm really--
我、罗伊和杰米今晚能坐一张桌子吗 I was wondering if me, Roy and Jamie could all sit at the same table tonight.
-可以吗 -可以 -Is that possible? -Yes.
好极了因为我得让俩人冰释前嫌 我觉得应该可以 Great! 'Cause I got some fences I need to mend, and I think that might do the trick.
-泰德 我刚同意了 -好 -Ted, I just said yes. -Right.
天呐 这件真美 但是… Oh, God, that one's absolutely beautiful, but...
但我觉得我已经驾驭不了了 I don't think I can get away with that anymore.
你当然可以 时尚的核心是自信 Sure you could. Fashion's all about confidence.
如果我不自信 我是绝不会 穿睡衣参加毕业舞会的 If I didn't have any confidence, I never would've worn pajamas to my prom
然后一整晚都待在监狱里 and ended up in jail the rest of that night.
但你不想听那个故事 所以我不讲了 But you don't wanna hear that story, so I ain't gonna tell it.
你知道吗我不烦你了 You know what? I'll get outta your hair.
你肯定为这次盛大的舞会 感到紧张吧 对吗 You're probably all revved up because of the big shindig, right?
不 我好得很 No, no, no. I'm absolutely fine.
虽然过去是我和鲁伯特一起举办宴会 I mean, even when Rupert and I were running the gala together,
但大部分工作都是我做的 I did most of the work myself.
所以 我一点不紧张 So, I'm not revved up at all.
其实 我现在情绪很平稳 I'm actually, really, feeling quite mellow.
下午好 我们遇到了一个大问题 Good afternoon. We have a huge problem.
嘉宾歌手罗比威廉姆斯不来了 Our musical guest, Robbie Williams, has canceled.
天呐 God!
哎呀 他是谁 Oh, no. Who is that?
淡定 没关系 这都不是事 让我好好想想 No, no, no. That's absolutely fine. It's not a problem. Let me just think.
好的 我们这么办 希金斯 All right, here's what we're going to do, Higgins.
今晚 我会告诉大家罗比取消了演出 Tonight, when I tell everyone that Robbie has canceled,
但是没关系 因为你会找到更好的替代 by then it won't matter because you will have found someone better.
-靠你了 -好的 -There ya are. -Right.
我是世界级的解决问题达人 I am a world-class problem solver.
哎呀 你能接得住 加油很好 看看呀 There it is. You got it. Catch it! Yep! Look at that!
你可以的 希金斯 You got this, Higgins!
瑞贝卡感谢你的辛勤付出 And Rebecca's grateful for all your hard work!
谢谢你 泰德 Thank you, Ted!
不行 我讨厌这条领带 宝贝 No. I hate it, babe.
这不是我的风格 没有兜帽 没有拉链 It's just not me. There's no hood, no zips.
没有涂鸦 There's no graffiti.
没有涂鸦 No graffiti.
疯了 我看上去像个银行家 Mad. I look like a banker.
裤裆那么紧 才不像呢 Not with trousers that tight around the crotch, you don't.
好吧 我看上去像一个屌很大的银行家 Fine. I look like a banker with a great cock.
宝贝 如果这种人存在的话 我们就不会在一起了 Babe, if those existed, we wouldn't be together.
随便啦 Whatever.
好吧 Okay.
如果你涉足时尚业 会得到更多的赞助 Look, you're gonna get more endorsements when you start embracing high fashion.
我只是帮你打造品牌 I'm just trying to help build up your brand.
杰米 别这样 你在干什么 Jamie, no. What are you doing?
我在做… I'm doing...
风格 style.
是的 人们并不知道 其实我对时尚很在行 Yeah, people don't know it, but I'm good at this fashion shit.
-是吗 -对 时尚血统 -Are you? -Yeah, I'm like a progeny.
噢 是吗 Oh, yeah?
喂 蹲下 狗狗 Oi. Down, boy.
乖狗狗 去找好吃的 That's a good boy. Find the treat, yeah.
嘿 亲爱的 Hey, hon.
该死 是语音信箱 你发的消息我收到了 Shoot, I was hoping I'd catch ya. Got your message.
看来咱俩玩上了电话鬼抓人游戏 现在你是“鬼”了 Playing a little phone tag, it appears. And you are now it.
对了 你猜怎么着 Hey. Guess what.
我穿着你让我带的西装 I'm wearing the suit you told me I should bring.
你是对的 一如既往 You were right, as always.
好吧 就这些 我爱…我想你 Yeah. Okay, so, that's it. I love-- I miss ya.
你替我给小家伙一个拥抱 And just go ahead and give the little guy a squeeze for me.
我们之后再聊 再见 I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
嘿 真好 Hey. All right, now.
我喜欢吟游诗人 Gotta love a troubadour.
给你的 Here we go.
我的妈呀 看看你 Holy moly, look at you.
-希望我没来太早 -没有 -Hope I'm not too early. -No.
或者太晚 我希望尽量卡在中间 Or too late. I was trying to go for somewhere in between.
不晚 你时间把握得刚刚好 内特 Yeah, no. You threaded that needle perfectly, Nate.
-太好了 -是的 好极了 -Good. -Yeah, nailed it.
我问你一件事 Hey, let me ask you something.
你是那种会希望朋友直接指出 Are you one of those guys that likes it if your friends tell you
-你牙缝里有食物的人吗 -当然了 是的 -you got a piece of food in your teeth? -Absolutely, yeah.
很好 你的西装太不合身了 Okay, good. 'Cause that suit does not fit at all.
-真的吗 -嗯 -Really? -Yeah.
我本来想买一套新的 但是太贵了 I was gonna buy one, but, you know, they're so expensive.
-我想着就借我爸的穿穿好了 -有道理 -I just thought I'd borrow my dad's. -I hear ya.
这样吧 我们去趟商店 跟我来 Hey. We'll make a little pit stop. Come on, follow me.
好 Yeah.
（里士满剧院）
你们看什么呢 What you lookin' at?
大家好吗我的西装怎么样 还不错吧 You boys all right? How's my suit? All good? Yeah?
好极了 This is great.
嘿 谢谢大家给我拍照 Hey, thank you, guys, so much for taking my picture.
你们叫什么名字 What are your names?
你是杰瑞 你是戴夫 So you're Jerry, and you're Dave.
我知道你们都是为我来的 What you all came for.
左眼眉 右眼眉 Left eyebrow. Right eyebrow.
困惑的表情 Confused look.
拍吧 这才是你们真正会登出来的 Yeah, now for the one that you'll actually use.
就是这样 亲爱的 亲一下怎么样 That's it, darling. How about a kiss?
（第十届资助贫困儿童年度福利晚宴）
-浪漫永存 -伙计们 抱歉 我只是… -Romance is not dead. -Guys, sorry, sorry. I just--
-让他们拍张照 -好的 -Gonna let them take a picture. -Yeah. Yeah.
我马上得进去了 好的 I just need to get inside. Okay.
瑞贝卡 看这边 Rebecca, over here!
-很好 女士们 -瑞贝卡 看这边 -Nice, ladies. -Rebecca, over here!
-你看上去美极了 -现在 看向左边 -You look perfect. -Now, look to your left.
我喜欢这个环节 I hate this part.
-韦尔顿女士 -很美 好极了 -Miss Welton. -Lovely. Nice.
嘿 Hey.
把一只脚放在另一脚前面 Just put one foot in front of the other, yeah?
把手放在屁股上 张开手指成爪型 And then put your hand on your hip and make, like, a claw shape.
这是最上相的姿势 It's the most flattering.
-瑞贝卡 笑一笑 -瑞贝卡 -Rebecca, give us a smile. -Rebecca!
看她 美炸了 Look at her. She's fucking fit!
别扭来扭去的 大方展示你的西装 Don't strut. Let the suit do the work.
泰德拉索 我的天啊 Ted Lasso. My God.
你也是 老板 Right back at ya, boss.
我当时就有预感你会选这件 I had a hunch you were gonna pick this dress.
请允许我说一句 这裙子就像为你量身定做的一样 And may I say, you are wearing the heck out of it.
谢谢 Thank you.
看看内特 挺帅的吧 Check out Nate. Looking pretty dapper himself, huh?
很高兴再次见到你 Great to see you again.
-很高兴认识你 -很高兴认识你 -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.
-我失陪一下 -没问题 去忙你的事吧 -If you'll both excuse me. -Absolutely, yeah. Go do your thing.
看 彼尔德在那边 Look, there's Beard over there.
那是他的新欢 简 That's his new gal, Jane.
对 他们在周五晚上的象棋俱乐部认识的 Yeah, they met at his Friday night chess club.
显然 他们喜欢彼此的套路 Apparently, they liked each other's moves.
这不是笑话 That wasn't a joke.
不是吗 Was it not?
算是有一点吧 I guess it kinda was.
不拍 走开 去死 不拍 No. No. Fuck off. Fuck you. No. No.
对 我知道 Yeah, I know.
这就比较尴尬了 This is gonna be so uncomfortable.
-我要换桌 -别走 嘿 回来 -I'm switching tables. -No, no, no. Hey. Come on back here.
这是我安排的 This is my doing.
我把你们骗来了 坐吧 I parent trapped y'all. Take a seat.
听着 你们两个傻小子让更衣室分成两派 Now, listen. You two knuckleheads have split our locker room in half.
说到更衣室 And when it comes to locker rooms,
我希望更衣室就像我妈的泳衣一样 I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits.
我希望看到的是一个整体 听懂了吗 I only wanna see 'em in one piece, you hear?
所以我们必须解决这个问题 So we're fixing this.
告诉我你们最看不惯对方的地方 说吧 Tell me what's the biggest issue you got with each other. Go.
他是个混蛋 He's a piece of shit.
如果他脑袋着火了 我不会往他耳朵里撒尿的 If his brain was on fire, I wouldn't piss in his ear.
嘿 不是非得变成好朋友才能做好队长 Well, hey. You don't need to be best friends to be great teammates.
想想大鲨鱼和科比 对吗 列侬和麦卡尼 Think about Shaq and Kobe, right? Lennon and McCartney.
就连胡迪和巴斯光年 也看对方的塑料不顺眼 Heck, even Woody and Buzz got under each other's plastic.
胡迪不是布做的吗 Wasn't Woody made out of cloth?
谢谢你的提醒 内特 但现在不是时候 I appreciate you, Nate, but now's not the time.
你知道这些强势二人组之间 有什么共同点吗 You know what all those dynamic duos had in common?
互相尊重 Mutual respect.
你们得找到一些共同点 谁想开始 Y'all gotta find some common ground. So who wants to get the ball rollin'?
我想 I do.
内特 你的西服很好看 我觉得你很帅 Nate, that's a very nice suit. I think you look chic.
谢谢 其实这是我人生中的第二套西服 Thank you. It's actually only the second suit I've ever owned.
第一套是我出生时自带的 The first one was my suit when I was a naked baby.
抱歉 泰德讲的时候很好笑 我… Sorry, it's funny when Ted says it. I--
那个名词叫“诞辰礼服” Well, the term "birthday suit"
-这样说会更有笑点 -天啊 好的 -woulda helped you a ton there, yeah. -Oh, God, yeah.
来吧 我们再试一次 好吗 嘿 杰米 从你开始好吗 Come on, let's try this again, all right? Hey, Jamie. You wanna go?
拒绝 Pass.
-罗伊 -他是个混蛋 -Roy. -He's a piece of shit.
你来回就这一句话好吧 You're gonna stick with that, huh? Okay.
我有个主意 可能会帮上点忙 也可能会伤到大家的感情 Here's an idea that's gonna help a little or hurt a whole lot.
谁想喝一杯 Who needs a drink?
演出嘉宾那件事有什么进展吗 Any progress with the musical guest?
我跟很多经纪人谈过 I've talked to a number of agents
还列了一个非常详尽的 无法参加的候选人名单 and made a fairly extensive list of those who cannot make it.
这是排除法 一切进展顺利 Process of elimination. We're on our way.
嘿 你在这儿呢 Hey, there she is.
你在练习演说词吗 You're working on your speech, huh?
鲁伯特很擅长演讲这部分 Rupert was always very good at the public speaking part.
我给你分享一个小技巧 Hey, here's a little trick of the trade.
一开始拿自己开涮 开个小玩笑什么的 Just make fun of yourself right off the bat, a little joke.
大家会喜欢的 Folks will love that.
好吧 我应该开自己什么玩笑呢 Okay, so, what should I make fun of myself about?
是啊 Right, right, right.
你知道…你可以…不行 好吧 You know-- You know what would be-- No. Okay.
你说不出口 是吧 泰德 You're not gonna walk into that one, are you, Ted?
不行 老板 不行 No, ma'am. Nope, nope, nope. Okay.
不过祝你好运 Good luck though.
我想到了 不行 You know what? I thought of something. No, no, no.
后走车四 Queen to rook four.
你们下象棋都不用棋盘的 Wait, are y'all playing a game without a board?
抱歉打扰了 对不起 请继续 Sorry to interrupt. My fault. Sorry. Carry on.
骑士走王五 Knight to king five.
晚上好 Good evening,
欢迎参加第十届资助贫困儿童 年度福利晚宴 and welcome to the Tenth Annual Benefit for Underprivileged Children.
如果我可以拥抱你们每个人 感谢你们的善意捐助… If I could hug each of you as a thank you for your kind donations, well...
我可能不会那么做 因为大家都知道 我不喜欢拥抱 I probably wouldn't because, as we all know, I'm not much of a hugger.
稍候是我们的竞拍环节 我希望大家都把支票本带在了身上 Now, I do hope you've all brought your checkbooks with you for our auction later.
因为你们可以竞拍我们的里士满球员 Because you can all bid on our very own Richmond players.
还是老规矩 除非球员签了免责协议 不然不准调戏 Same rule as always, no hanky-panky unless the player signs a waiver.
鲁伯特 Rupert?
你好 亲爱的 Hello, darling.
真是个…意外的惊喜啊 What a... lovely surprise.
你不知道我会来吗 Weren't you expecting me?
那是因为你拒绝了我的请帖 Only 'cause you RSVP'd no.
做一个有钱的废物就是有这样的好处 Well, one of the perks of being a wealthy good-for-nothing.
有时候晚上的时间很神奇地就空出来了 Sometimes my nights just magically free up.
可以吗谢谢 May I? Thank you.
女士们、先生们 通过你们的帮助 我们去年筹集了80万英镑 Gals and gents, with your help, we raised £800,000 last year.
今年 希望会更多 And this year, hopefully even more.
我知道我是不请自来 但我实在太想帮忙了 Well, I know I'm crashing your party, but I so badly wanna help.
我的手指脚趾都在祈祷 你会让我留下 My fingers and toes are crossed that you will have me.
当然了 Of course.
给他在“无聊桌”放把椅子 Let's get him a seat at the boring table.
我开玩笑的 Only joking.
4号桌 鲁伯特曼尼恩 各位 Table four. Rupert Mannion, everyone.
谢谢 美女 Thanks, doll.
我的妈呀 Oh, my God.
-谢谢 -那… -Thank you. -That--
内森 拜托 Nathe, Nathe, Nathe. Come on.
听着 伙计们 这是我新买的西服 Look, guys, this is a brand-new suit.
今晚就别捉弄我了 明天补上行吗 Rather than messing with me tonight, can you just get me two times tomorrow?
罗伊不准我们再欺负你了 Roy said we're not allowed anymore.
他居然撞了我的头 我有一半时间都是晕着的 He fucking headbutted me. I'm still dizzy half the time.
医生让我别喝酒 The doctors told me not to drink.
可恶 Shit.
所以要穿衣服 Yet another reason shirts exist.
闭嘴 一点都不好笑 烫到了我的乳头 Shut up, it's not funny. Burned my nipple.
真希望我是那个冰块 I wish I was that ice cube.
我会竞拍跟你共度一夜 I will be bidding for a night with you.
谢谢 亲爱的 Thanks, love.
其实是一次约会 不是一整晚 所以… Yeah, it's just a date though. It's not a whole night. So...
到时候就知道了 We'll see.
伙计 这事我经历过 Mate, I've done these before.
如果她竞拍价超过三千块 你就得跟她上床 If she bids over 3,000, you will have to fuck her.
-是真的吗 -你不用做全套的 -Is that true? -You don't have to go all the way.
做一部分就好 Just, like, some of the way.
用手指 Fingering.
去你们的 这桌都不是正常人 Fuck you. Fuck this table.
杰米 开玩笑的 Jamie, it was a joke.
开玩笑的 杰米 It was a joke. Jamie.
刚才发生了什么 What happened now?
一如往常 杰米那个戏精又作天作地了 Just the usual. Jamie being a little bitch prima donna.
罗伊 我问你一件事 Roy, let me ask you something.
你23岁的时候什么样 What were you like when you were 23?
在联盟里踢球 赚很多钱 Playing in this league, making all that money.
-一个作天作地的戏精 -是啊 -Little bitch prima donna. -Yeah.
你知道人们都说 “年轻人浪费了青春” You know how they say that "youth is wasted on the young"?
要我说 别浪费了岁月给你的智慧 Well, I say don't let the wisdom of age be wasted on you.
泰德 Ted?
我刚刚想到的 我太厉害了 I just came up with that. I feel pretty good about it.
你跟科林和艾萨克谈过了 我想感谢你 I just wanted to say thanks for talking to Colin and Isaac.
你的脸为什么贴这么近 Why is your face so close to mine?
我一开始的计划是拥抱你 但我临阵退缩了 Well, my initial plan was to hug you, but I just chickened out just now.
好吧 Right.
-好了 够了 -好 -Okay, we're done. -Yeah.
泰德 我想介绍你认识鲁伯特曼尼恩 Ted, I'd like to introduce you to Rupert Mannion.
-曼尼恩先生 你好吗 -叫我鲁伯特就好 泰德 -Mr. Mannion, how are you? -It's Rupert, Ted.
尤其是管理我俱乐部的人 更不应该见外了 Especially for the man who's managing my club.
曾经是你的俱乐部 Used to be your club.
当然 但是…在我心里 依然是我的俱乐部 亲爱的 Of course, of course, but... it's still my club in here, love.
爱上一支球队就会爱一辈子 Love of a sports team is a lifetime obsession.
-是的 -是的 -Yeah. -Yeah.
有点像你最好朋友的姐姐 对吗 Kinda like your best friend's older sister, right?
帮我个忙 Hey, but do me a favor.
如果你去了堪萨斯城 遇到一个叫汤姆迪宁的人 If you're ever in Kansas City and come across a fella named Tom Dineen,
别告诉他我说过这话 don't tell him I said that.
我喜欢 I love that.
不过我们接连输了两场这事 我就不太喜欢了 I don't love our last two losses though.
-成绩太差了 -是的 -Horrible showing. -Yeah.
我必须得说 真希望我没说出口 Had to say it, wish I didn't.
没关系 谁知道呢 也许我们能翻盘呢 对吧 It's okay. Who knows? Maybe we'll turn it around, huh?
我的天 我相信你 Oh, my God. I believe you.
你相信我吗 Do you believe him?
如果你说不 那今晚可就没法收场了 Night's gonna take a turn for the worse if you say no.
我当然相信泰德 Of course I believe in Ted.
他正是我们需要的人 He's exactly what we've needed.
别喝太多香槟 亲爱的 Not too much champagne now, dear.
竞拍的时候要保持清醒 Gotta stay sharp for the auction.
不如你来负责竞拍吧 Why don't you do the auction?
不行 我不能抢了你的风头 No, I couldn't. This is your night.
我们都知道大家更想看到你 We both know they'd rather see you.
而且 这是…为了孩子们 And besides, it's... for the children.
为了孩子们 For the children.
好吧 失陪一下 我得招呼下其他客人 Right. If you'll excuse me, I need to speak to the other guests.
不得不说 我喜欢你这条裙子 I must say, I love that dress.
显得你很年轻 It's very youthful.
看到你这样光鲜亮丽的站在舞台上 我为你高兴 Good for you for getting back out there looking like that.
谢谢 Thank you.
失陪了 Excuse me.
泰德 Ted.
她今年过得不容易 她还好吗 It's been a hard year for her. Is she okay?
是的 她很好 Yeah, she's great.
就是很多事情需要操心 比如今晚 You know, a lot of moving pieces putting together a thing like this though.
然后有个叫罗比威廉姆斯的家伙 临时爽约了 而且… And then she had this fella... Robbie Williams cancel on her and--
-罗比 -对 -Robbie? -Yeah.
他是我的老朋友了 Well, he's an old pal of mine.
我很乐意给他发个信息 我肯定能请得动他 I'm happy to text him. I bet you I can get his ass over here.
她一定会很开心的 I bet she'd love it.
我去找她 先把旗子升起来 好吗 I'll go track her down and run it up the flagpole, huh?
抱歉 这是我家乡的俗语 I'm sorry. That's an expression from back home.
-意思是我要先问过她 -好极了 好戏开演了 -Just means I'm gonna ask her. -Fabulous. Showtime.
好的 看好你 All right, go get 'em.
有没有更烈一点的 比如说威士忌加冰之类的 Can I get something stronger, like a Jack on the rocks or something?
一份和两份混在一起 三份 A double and a single in one. A triple.
女士们、先生们 今晚计划稍微调整一下 Ladies and gentlemen, slight change in plans.
我禁不住哄骗 成了今晚的拍卖人 I have been cajoled into being your auctioneer for this evening.
我们的第一个受害者是杰米塔特 And our first victim is Jamie Tartt.
宝贝 你一定要赢到我 Babe, you have to win me.
我不会竞拍自己男朋友的 看上去多可悲啊 I can't bid on my own boyfriend. I'll look pathetic.
宝贝 现在是2020年了 女人可以做任何事 Babe, it's 2020. Women can do anything.
不行 拜托 你这么性感 上去吧 No, it's not happening. Come on, you look hot. Go up there!
看看他 各位 年轻帅气、魅力四射 真是个混蛋 Look at him, folks. Young, gorgeous, charming. The bastard.
我们起拍价是五千英镑 So, we'll start with £5,000.
我要他 鲁伯特 I want him, Rupert.
谢丽尔巴纳比出价五千 Five thousand from Cheryl Barnaby.
里士满设得兰矮种马的养殖大户 Richmond's premier breeder of Shetland ponies.
有人出价六千吗 Do we hear six?
六千 Six thousand.
六千 谢谢 Six. Thank you.
-七千 -七千 -Seven thousand. -Seven thousand.
一万 Ten thousand.
漂亮 Stunning.
不论是竞价还是竞价人 And that applies to the bid and the bidder.
这可不行 I don't think so.
-一万两千英镑 -一万四千 -Twelve thousand pounds. -Fourteen thousand.
一万四千 Fourteen thousand!
一万六千 Sixteen thousand.
一万八千 Eighteen.
一万八千 还有人出价吗 Eighteen thousand. Do I hear any advance?
有 两万五千 Yeah. Twenty-five thousand.
两万五千一次 两万五千两次 Twenty-five thousand! Going once. Twice.
成交 基莉琼斯拍得 Sold to Keeley Jones.
花两万五千英镑就能领回家的男朋友 为什么还要免费享用呢 Why spend the time with your boyfriend for free when you can have him for 25 grand?
你欠我一次人情 You owe me.
嘿 你在这儿呢 出来透透气 是吗 Hey. There you are. Getting a little fresh air, huh?
对 那些人力车真蠢 但看上去还挺有趣的 Yeah. Those rickshaw bike things are so silly, but they do look like fun.
是啊 Yeah.
-你坐过吗 -没有 女士 -You ever been on one? -No, ma'am.
很久之前 我和我妻子度假的时候 租过那种自行车 My wife and I once rented one of those tandem bikes on vacation a while back.
不是什么美好的回忆 她摔断了胳膊 而我… Not the best experience. She broke her arm and I actually...
我嗑到了牙 还伤到了会阴处 Well, I chipped a tooth, and I bruised my perineum.
-嘿 你还好吗 -只是… -Hey, you okay? -It's just...
那个男人 他了解我 That man, he knows me.
我之前觉得即使他做了那些事 但他的坦诚算是高尚 I used to think his blunt honesty was noble rather than what it really is.
但这是… Which is just...
隐藏自己不安全感的最残忍的方式 the cruelest way of hiding his own insecurities.
他会说穿这个、吃那个 He'd say wear this, eat that.
我很听话 And I listened.
但现在我却独自一人 But now I'm alone.
我独自一人 泰德 正如他当初所说 这就是我选择离开的下场 I'm alone, Ted. Just like he said I would be if I left.
我不想一个人 I don't want to be alone.
嘿 好了 没事的 Hey. It's okay. Okay.
你想坐上去离开这里吗来吧 You wanna hop on this thing and get the heck outta Dodge? Come on.
我也希望我可以 I wish.
现在不行 不过谢谢你 Not right now. Thank you though.
他已经开始拍卖了吗 Has he started the auction?
是的 Yeah, yeah.
很好 我很开心他这么做了 这样我们会募集到更多的钱 Good. I'm glad he's done that. We'll get much more money.
不管他做了什么 人们都一样喜欢他 No matter what he does, they just love him.
-你要回去吗 -不 你进去吧 -You wanna head back in? -No, you go ahead.
我得缓一缓 I need to freshen up.
我这样子估计就像是 午睡刚醒的罗伯特史密斯 I probably look like Robert Smith after he's woken up from a nap.
非常情绪化的男人 没错 Very emotional man. Yeah.
好 我去里面等你 Okay, I'll see you inside.
我还是新人的那会儿 When I was coming up,
俱乐部有个老家伙叫道格拉斯斯塔谢维克 there was this old geezer at the club, Doug Stashwick.
他总是针对我 我们互相看不顺眼 He was always on me. Hated each other.
-你想知道我们怎么赢了联赛吗 -不想 -You wanna know how we won the league? -No.
就是美国佬教练那一套 It was the same shit Yankee Doodle was peddling.
他坐下来对我说：“大家都把话说开 He sat me down and he said, "Let's get it all out there.
说出对彼此的不满” You tell me why I'm a prick, and I'll tell you why you are."
-你是个可恶的混蛋… -不 我先来 -You're a nasty bastard-- -No, I'm going first.
尽管我知道我应该传给你… Even though I know I should pass to you...
但你太自私太傲慢了 you're so selfish and arrogant.
每次我传给你 都让我他妈想吐 Every time I do, it makes me want to fucking puke.
我小时候 墙上挂了一张你的海报 You know, I had a poster of you on my wall when I was a kid.
我那时喜欢看你比赛 Used to love watching you play.
但你已经不是曾经的你了 But you're not the player that you used to be,
你赢了几个奖杯 and just because you won a few trophies,
就想要所有人都臣服于你 you walk around here expecting everyone to kiss your ring.
你说得对 我确实会这样 Yeah, I can be like that.
现在轮到你承认我说的了 Now's the bit where you admit to what I said.
我不想承认 I don't wanna.
就算你说的… Even if it is just...
有那么一点对 a little bit true.
你和那个叫道格的 你们最后成了朋友吗 You and that Doug bloke, you ever become friends?
当然没有 我希望他死了才好 Fuck no. I hope he's dead.
敬你也一样 To you dying.
真是个混蛋 Such a prick.
你好啊 搭档 Howdy, partner.
我联系罗比的事 你问过瑞贝卡了吗 So, you ask Rebecca what she thought about texting Robbie?
我找不到她 别担心 You know what? I couldn't find her. I say don't worry about it.
如果你改变了主意就告诉我 短信立马就发出去 If you change your mind, say the word and-- sent.
他随叫随到 我再去倒点 He'll be right over. Top up.
嘿 鲁伯特 我突然想到了一件事 Hey, Rupert, something just occurred to me.
如果你能发短信给罗伯威廉姆斯 让他今晚过来… If you could've texted Robbie Williams asking him to come tonight...
那你叫他别来也很容易 you could've probably just as easily asked him not to come.
那我这人就太烂了 不是吗 Well, now, that would've made me a real piece of shit, wouldn't it?
嘿 泰德 你觉得瑞贝卡知道 真正的阿黛尔长什么样吗 Hey, Ted. Do you think Rebecca knows what the real Adele looks like?
我要进行一次小小的冒险 我需要一位副驾驶 I need to go on a little adventure, and I need a copilot.
-你想要我 -对 不要最贵 只要最好 -And you want me? -Yeah. Forget the rest, I need the best.
跟我来 Come on, follow me.
-谢谢你 顺便一提 -什么 -Thank you, by the way. -Huh?
红毯照片已经在网上登出来了 The red carpet photos are already online,
我终于也好看一次了 and I actually look all right for once.
很高兴很帮上你 Glad to help.
基莉 Keeley?
我想应该告诉你 I think you should know
竞拍杰米的那个年轻女人 是他今晚带的另一个伴 that the young woman that was bidding on Jamie was actually his other plus-one.
那个不要脸的小王八蛋 Cheeky little prick.
-我能喝一口你的酒吗 -可以 -Can I have a sip of your drink? -Yes.
谢谢 Thanks.
我最讨厌橄榄了 In anything else, I hate olives.
我觉得这个橘黄色的阴蒂一样的东西 真的很诡异 I think the little, like, orange clitoris thing is really freaky.
你跟足球运动员约会过吗 Have you ever dated a footballer?
-怎么了 -抱歉 -What? -Sorry.
我不该笑的 听上去…有评判的嫌疑 I shouldn't laugh. It sounds... judgy.
不 没关系 你本来就这样 No, it's okay. You are a bit judgy.
我18岁的时候 谈了一个23岁的足球运动员 So when I was 18, I dated a footballer that was 23.
现在我快30了 我还在约会23岁的足球运动员 Now I'm close to 30, and I am still dating a 23-year-old footballer.
我是女版的莱昂纳多迪卡普里奥 I'm Leonardo DiCaprio.
不过他们都挺有趣的 They are pretty fun though.
简单、有钱、强壮 Simple, rich, fit.
那责任感呢 What about accountable?
什么意思 What do you mean?
我是说 所有人都会犯错误 但是… Well, I mean, everyone makes mistakes, but...
我嫁给了一个男人12年 I was married to a man for 12 years
他从来没有为自己犯过的错承担责任 who never once took responsibility for any single one of them.
嗨 Hi.
-嗨 -我叫基莉 -Hi. -I'm Keeley.
你好 我叫贝克丝 Hi, I'm Bex.
-很高兴认识你 贝克丝 -很高兴认识你 -Really nice to meet you, Bex. -Nice to meet you.
你介意我和这位单独聊聊吗 Do you mind if I just have a minute on my own with this one?
当然 很高兴认识你 Yeah, sure. Lovely to meet you.
她是你的新女友 She your new girlfriend?
别激动 宝贝 这都是品牌计划的一部分 不是吗 Relax, babe. It's all part of the branding plan, innit?
如果有两个女人为我竞拍 会提升我的价值 If I've got two women bidding on me, it makes me look more valuable.
明白我的意思吗 Do you know what I mean?
很聪明吧 It's fucking smart, eh?
接下来是名单上唯一 赢过冠军联赛的罗伊肯特 大家欢迎 And now, the only former Champions League winner on the menu, say hello to Roy Kent.
爷爷 Granddad.
出价最高者将有机会在豪华酒店度过一天 And the highest bidder gets to spend a day at a swanky hotel by the pool
在泳池边喝冰冻黛可丽 晒着日光浴… drinking frozen daiquiris and soaking up the rays--
不 我们说好的 没有黛可丽 没有日光浴 No, we said there's no daiquiris and no rays.
也没有该死的泳池 我们不会离开邮编是SW14的区域 There's not gonna be a fucking pool either. We're not leaving SW14.
你看上去很嫉妒 太有意思了 You looked so jealous. It was so cool.
你觉得嫉妒有意思 是吗 You think jealousy is cool, do you?
不知道 宝贝 我从不嫉妒别人 Don't know, babe. I don't get jealous.
有人出价一百英镑竞拍这个 突然间变得很无趣的约会吗 Well, can we have 100 quid for what's turning out to be a very boring date?
好啊 一千英镑 All right. A thousand pounds.
-还有人加价吗 -两千英镑 -Any advances on that? -Two thousand pounds!
谢丽尔很厉害啊 Cheryl's got fire inside her.
-三千英镑 -宝贝 你这样只会让自己难堪 -Three thousand pounds. -Babe, you're just embarrassing yourself.
四千英镑 Four thousand pounds!
五千英镑 Five thousand!
六千英镑 Six thousand pounds.
-六千还有人加价吗 -对不起 我错了 -Any advance on six? -I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
好的 谢丽尔拍得 Okay, sold to Cheryl.
今天的拍卖到此结束 但还有一个小惊喜 That concludes the auction, apart from one small surprise.
我本人会捐赠一百万英镑 I am personally donating £1 million to the cause.
谢谢 Thank you.
谢谢大家 谢谢 Thank you very much. Thank you.
这样就超出了 瑞贝卡筹集80万的目标 谢谢 And that, I believe, gets Rebecca over her goal of 800,000. Thank you.
为了孩子们 对吗 For the children, eh?
瑞贝卡 Rebecca.
这位是卡姆科尔 是一名还未被发掘的新秀 This here is Cam Cole. He's an undiscovered mega-talent.
去吧 卡姆 给他们展示一下你的才艺 Go on, Cam. Show 'em what you got.
你疯了吗 Are you insane?
嘿 瑞贝卡 你不能以貌取人 好吗 Hey, Rebecca. You do not wanna judge this book by its cover right here, okay?
管他的 The hell with it.
太好了 Yes.
各位 女士们、先生们 我很遗憾通知各位… Hello again. Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that...
罗比威廉姆斯因为突发事件今晚无法到场 Robbie Williams is unable to be here tonight due to an emergency.
但我们请到了优秀的替代歌手 你们一定会喜欢的 But we have a brilliant replacement for you who you are just going to love.
或者 至少在回去的路上有得吐槽 Or, at least, have lots to talk about on the way home.
请欢迎这位来自…请欢迎卡姆什么的 All the way from outside... please welcome Cam something.
特么的 Bollocks.
什么意思 What does that mean?
妈妈 亲爱的自然母亲 请原谅我们的所作所为 Mama, sweet mama nature Please forgive us and what we've done
我们别下棋了 去跳舞怎么样 Can we just forget about the game and go and have a dance?
后走国王五 将军 Queen to king five. Checkmate.
我们伤害了妈妈 We've gone and hurt our mama
她大发雷霆 And her wrath has begun
虽然我是妈妈的好孩子 'Cause I'm a good boy to my mama
但是 But
我有糟糕的兄弟姐妹 I've got bad siblings
（卡姆科尔）
-非常感谢 -不客气 -Thank you so much. -You're so welcome.
-我们玩得很开心 -谢谢 -We really had a great time. -Thank you so much.
晚安 Good night.
再次感谢你这么大方的捐助 Thank you again for such an unbelievable donation.
-明年再见了 -我已经等不及了 -See you again next year. -Can't wait.
真是个万人迷啊 是吧 What a charmer, huh?
是啊 Indeed.
你也许觉得你是唯一看透他本性的人… You may think that you're the only one that can see who he really is...
但其实不是 but you're not.
天呐 你没事吧 伙计 Oh, boy. You all right, buddy?
-快走吧 -好的 -Quick. -All right.
今晚很愉快 Fun night.
嘿 等等 慢点走 教练 Hey, wait, hold on. Slow down, Coach.
你能不能别生我的气了 Will you stop being mad at me now?
对不起 宝贝 I'm sorry, babe.
你知道你哪里对不起我了吗 杰米 Do you even know what you're sorry for, Jamie?
你总问这个问题 You always ask me that.
嘿 帮我个忙 Hey, do me a favor.
你们两口子吵架别拿我当道具 Don't use me as a prop in your little fights.
让我觉得自己像个傻子一样 Made me feel like an idiot.
对不起 我… I'm sorry. I--
我不该那么做的 I shouldn't have done that.
谢谢 Thanks.
反正也没人会竞拍你 伙计 走开啦 No one was bidding on you anyway, mate. Just fuck off.
走啊 Go on.
你跟他道什么歉啊 What are you saying sorry to him for?
做人要承担责任 杰米 Being accountable matters, Jamie.
我们分手吧 We're done.
再见 I'll see you around.
随便你 Whatever.
不好意思 我能拿走吗 Excuse me, can I take these?
两瓶 Two?
你想不想大醉一场 Do you wanna go get, like, really drunk?
-好啊 -然后我们可以去抢个银行什么的 -Yes, I do. -Then we can go rob a bank or something.
米歇尔和亨利下周过来 Michelle and Henry are coming out next weekend.
-太好了 教练 -是啊 -Hey, that's great, Coach. -Yeah.
来吧 跟我说说你和简 到底怎么了 So come on, tell me about you and Jane. What happened?
我又犯了同样的错 I did it again.
-更在乎输赢而不是对方 -对 -Put the game before the dame, huh? -Yup.
你什么时候能吸取教训呢 教练 When are you gonna learn, Coach?